If you want to find out there truth you need to search hard.

[TearsofaDragon20]

Well as you may (or may not) know i found the truth about why my ex left me. i found out from my best friend (and hers as she supposedly says) why she just up and left. She told my friend that she was falling in and out of love with me. thats a huge bomb that dropped on me. also she went about making me look bad to all of her friend by saying that i did this and i did that. when i never did. my friend was shocked to hear when i told her what my ex told me that fateful night when she left me, and was not happy that her best friend did that to me. but it made me angry to hear of such things as she was in and out of love with me. how can you do that to someone for a whole year! i have to tell you she is quite the upcoming actress in making you believe that she loved you but it was all an act. that still hurts but also makes me not want to even see her. even though i still want to hear it from her. i need to that will let me go on with my peace. And yet she wants to be friends......how can you justify that when you tell someone that you never really loved them, that you make up and change stories behind his back, and make him look like if he is the one to blame. you know what? There is not justifcation what so ever for that. I lost a year that ill never get back and the words that she softly whispered in my ear, siad to my face with a dazzled look in her eye, and wrote on paper were all lies. All lies and nothing more. empty words and promises that got me in the end. i have truly lost respect for the general population of women who have done this before. I hope that she realizes that what she did hurt me hard, but she sees that pain for herself like i had to. im am going to make sure that i do find that right woman whether if i have to go and walk the world to find her, but i will find her if it takes me to my grave. ill find her because i know that there is one that is one in a million. tell me what you have in mind on this. Shocking. no doubt. but hey cant have your cake and eat it too. later till then.

[Gilgamesh]

I know exactly what your feeling , Im going through a very painful breakup of my own, 4 years! but unlike your relationship, ours was always romance novel, romantic, loving and adventurous, and it ended just like snap, and only a few days after she expressed her need for me and her desire to get married with me and have my child.

 

Others will tell you that youll recover and get over it, I have with past relationships, but with this last one, i dont think ill survive it. I loved her way to much, and i know she still loves me, but for reasons still a mystery (still working on those details) she broke up with me.

 

Damn i wish there was a cure for this, cant sleep, no appetite, and constantly thinking about her, and crying. its just a nightmare. Why does love have to be so complicated?

 

If this is your first break up, youll gonna hurt real bad, but you will get over it,. and someday you will look back and joke about all this.

[TearsofaDragon20]

well im not saying it wasnt a romantic novel, it just hurts that i have to find out things that she cant tell me. she told me once that we are a couple who love each other dearly and that we can get through everything. i called her last night and i told her what i knew. she was blown away and didnt know what to say. i dont want to hate her and i dont think i can ever come to grips with hating her. she still needs that friend. i knew last night she would feel what i was feeling. i wanted her to see the glimpse of me in pain and how that pain can affect her. she may see it, she may not but im still unsure what she thought. ill most likely go to her house and see if she wants her stuff back. the charm she gave me and her bracelet. and then i can get back my mothers necklace back. but also to talk to her and see waht her signals are towards me. if she knows that it does hurt, or brushing it off like we were just strangers who bumped into each other aqnd just only said hello. it's a bit unexplainble. this is not my first relationship i have had a few but never like this. never at all. see i took the word love and did it like this

 

Lost

Outragous

Visual

Emotional surprise

 

 

it seems to make sense to me. i dont know why because when you are in love, you are lost because your so happy, and when you have a break up you're lost because the anwsers are unclear. Outragous, because it so exciting knowing that you're not alone, and the break up........the feelings of shock are outragous you cant control them. Visual seeing that the person who loves you can show it and make you know for the proof of your soul and your heart, the break up the proof has vanished no longer there to see. Emotional surprise that you now have your heart beating for that person and it's a good and huge surprise, the break up that hurt that you feel that your emotions are turning into something different that you were not expecting. I dont hate love and i do want to love again. if she was to tell me everything and show me she still cared, i would be like i said in L.O.V.E. who knows this chapter now is on the verge of a sad ending, or a good ending. this is not making things better. and it will not make it easier to deal with. but if i must move on with out her...then so be it i cant make her love me. thats not posible. you cant do that and it wont ever happen that way. i would want someone who will love me even after i die.