Is he over his ex?

[esant]

I've known this guy for 5-6 years but we recently started dating. We have gone out a few times and I knew he was sort of fresh out of a breakup. They were together for a year and broke up in March. He went through the whole story about how unhappy he was and so on but they still talk and she's trying to reconcile with him. He told me that he would never go back out with her because it isn't the type of girl he wants but he is too compassionate and doesnt like to hurt peoples feelings to tell her that they need to stop talking. She randomly calls him and talks to him. I didnt really question it until recently when he told me he was going to tell her that she needed to stop calling him but then just never really did it. It sounds like a bag of excuses and that he's not really over her. What do you guys think? I also find it a little questionable that she posts on his facebook and then he deletes it before I would see it. I posted something on there about going geocaching and he deleted it the next day.. So he deletes mine and her posts but no one elses..

 

Looking for an opinion, do I get out now?

[ghost69]

are you exclusive?

[esant]

We didnt discuss it, so I dont care if they still talk or who he talks to but if they intend on getting back together I'd rather not waste my time.. I was dating someone else at first and he was mad about it and gave me a big story about how it isnt right to date more than one person at once... He'll make jealous type of comments about guys I'm friends with or talk to.. I dont know what his deal is

[vertigoxo]

Hmm. Well, if he says he wouldn't go back out with her, then there's your answer. He's all your's for the taking.

[HeartGoesOn]

It sounds like he's still connected to her, and if she's still calling him, I'm sure he's encouraging the contact.

 

Since you've only been out with him a few times, I would give this some serious thought. If it were me, I would just cut my losses.

 

All the best...

[uhohlala]

It sounds like he's still connected to her, and if she's still calling him, I'm sure he's encouraging the contact.

 

 

Agreed. He's still sitting on the fence. Doesn't matter why, whether it's indecision, or merely guilt or habit ... he's still attached to her, and until he is unambiguously not attached to her she will cast a shadow that you will always be aware of.

 

Seriously, the fact that he's downplaying his connection to you (by deleting your fb posts from his wall so that she won't see them) tells you all you need to know. He might like to be available. He might think he's available. He might tell you he's available. But he's not available.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It sounds like he's still connected to her, and if she's still calling him, I'm sure he's encouraging the contact.

 

Since you've only been out with him a few times, I would give this some serious thought. If it were me, I would just cut my losses.

 

All the best...

 

I agree. It almost sounds like he is messing with both of you..trying to encourage both of you in order to boost his ego. The deleting your posts and her posts from his facebook is very suspicious...like he doesn't want each of you to know that he is encouraging either of you. For all you know he is telling her some stories about you and how he is going to tell you to stop contacting him. I don't think he is on the up and up. His distrust of you and jealous comments when you are talking to other guys is pretty typical of people who are themselves "double dipping" and therefore project their own shady behaviour on the other person. I wouldn't simply walk away from this guy...I would run away. He is not on the up and up.