Should I Stress Over Dating Sites?

[IcecreamLove]

Has anyone else been afraid of joining a specific dating site, because you live in a small town, and you KNOW that the people in your town could more than easily find your profile?

 

I've created accounts, and deleted them a few times. Mostly on POF and OkCupid, because I don't know where else to go. They're both popular where I live and sometimes it seems people have really saturated the playing field on these sites, when I think I meet someone new, only to discover when adding them on Facebook, they have friends in common with me. OR even worse, they see a, hmm how can I put this nicely, well-known or popular user on said dating site, in my friend list and tell me, hey I messaged him and he never replied!

 

For me it's such an alluring stigma. It's a great place to meet new people, and more and more people here are meeting their soul makes, or whatever, off dating sites, yet no one seems to openly admit that they use them.

 

This is a bit ranty, I'm not even sure why I'm posting. . . I guess I am just wondering, should I be worried about joining dating sites? Is there hope for meeting people in REAL life anymore? I'm only 19, realistically I have time to date, but sometimes I think I'm missing some opportunity to meet my true love off link removed.

[Dragunov-21]

Times are changing - more and more people are networking online - as long as your profile doesn't make you look like a tard, there's nothing to worry about, IMO.

 

Hell, I've met some great girls right here! (I know avman, not a dating site, but still, worth noting).

[pinkelephant]

You could... save your picture until after talking to them??

[Dragunov-21]

You could... save your picture until after talking to them??

 

Doing that can cut the amount of replies you get - shallow as it is, it's true.

[IcecreamLove]

It's really bothersome. I have a friend who REALLY frequented the dating sites, and usually when I get someone interested, they ask about my friend as soon as they find out I know him. Because he is on wayyy too many dating sites and knows how to sell himself really well. And people have either, already chatted with him before and lost contact, or he never replied to them.

 

I'm torn between losing that hidden potential of finding a match online . . . and just not bothering because I'm sick of people bringing up my friend, finding people that I already know, writing the right thing in those little boxes, people telling me I have plenty of time to find someone etc.

 

I mean, is this something I REALLY should be worrying about? I kind of want to let whatever happens. . . happen. But then nothing happens.

[Dragunov-21]

Well unless you're 100 different kinds of desperate, there's no need to stress over it.

 

Protip though, don't tell people you're friends with this other dude. Competition=bad

[Knotty]

It sounds like basically you are afraid to admit that you are single and looking for dates. You are afraid of what people will think. I have the same problem but I'm twice your age which makes it even worse. I would bet that a lot of people would respect you for not being ashamed of joining a dating site. They probably feel the same way you do. If anyone questions you just laugh it off. You are not doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to meet people. Anyone that sees you on the dating site will have joined the site themselves, so they can't criticize you.

[skydiver00]

You mentioned your from a small town..How small are we talking? Proximity to a larger city? Are most of the matches in your town/area or closer to a larger city??

 

Living in a pretty rural area was one of my main reasons for trying online..Rural being the biggest town in our county is maybe 10k and our almost 400sq mile county population is only about 40k.. Heck, closet movie theater is 1/2hr away, there's just nothing around. Which I really love except when it comes to dating...lol

A couple of notable cities are w/in an hr of me either direction... Not a big deal in my eyes but from my experience and this is just my opinion as ive yet to have it confirmed, but your going to have a tough sell if your trying for women closer to a city...

Girls are bombarded w/so many emails as it is and so many of them will be coming from dudes that can be available in like 5-10mins that I think they figure why bother w/someone whose like 40-50mins away...

 

I shared similar concerns at first about what if someone I know sees I put one up and rags on me etc...Ive had a profile up of some sort for almost a yr and Ive yet to have anyone call me on it...If they did, I prolly just laugh and say "yea and?"

I say just go for it and dont worry, hope you enjoy more luck than ive ever had.....

[benjamina]

My son met his beautiful wife of 8 years and two wonderful children through a chat site. They lived thousands of miles apart.

 

My ex partner was on several dating sites when we were together and POF was one of them. He lied about his age and his relationship with me and told them many, many lies in their conversations. Be very careful about giving any personal details out. There are many creeps out there looking for young women.that are vulnerable. Ask for several photos, without a hat if he is wearing one. Sometimes a hat can make a man look a lot younger. If they ask for a full figure photo get suspicious. If they ask for a sexy photo get even more suspicious. Do not send.

 

Best of luck. There are still some decent people out there.