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Trying to back off gently....


latitudezero

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Ok so this is the current situation:

 

My ex-girlfriend and I, after sort of a long break up, ended things about 3 months ago now. After the break up we had on two occasions what I guess you could call casual sex. About a month and a half ago I started talking with another girl who I have become interested in, and the feelings are mutual between us. Now I am not in a relationship with this new girl or anything yet, primarily because first she went on vacation to Jordan and Egypt for a month and in the last few weeks has been traveling around the midwest family, so we havent had much time to really hang out and sort of talk things out with one another.

 

Anyways, so my ex-girlfriend (who I am still friends with) sends me a message today saying "would you mind coming over for a little bit, I'm lonely and frustrated (meaning she wants to have sex)." She doesn't know that I've started talking with this new girl, and I don't really want to say anything to anyone yet about her because things haven't really started to go in any real direction yet. So I call her up and tell her that I'm uncomfortable with the idea of casual sex (which I never really was comfortable with it to begin with anyways). She then asked if she could call me back in 5 minutes. I then received an email from her saying that she was really upset, even though she knew it was silly for her to be upset, and didn't think she could talk to me without crying and that she would call me later.

 

I don't know exactly what I am trying to get out of this post, but I feel like I'm in a really awkward position. I feel like I did the right thing, but I still feel really bad for upsetting my ex like that.

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I'm not sure why you're worried about upsetting her. after all you two did breakup.

 

Are you sure that you're not telling her about this new girl, because you're hoping to get back together? Also, I believe you're walking on thin ice by sleeping with your "ex" and dating someone else at the same time.

 

Someone will get hurt in the end, and that could very well be "you."

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I assume you dont want to get back with your ex???? as he seems that she still has feelings for you.

If she is still crying over you etc, she probably is not ready to be friends, and secretly wants more. It is probably just hurting her for you to stay friends with her at this point.

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You did the right thing.

 

You have something new that you want to explore with this new girl.

 

Having casual sex with your ex would now feel like cheating.

 

Stick with your principles. She was an equal part in the break up, and you're right, being 'lonely and frustrated' is not a reason any more to have sex with her.

 

Move forward in a more healthy relationship with this new person, and good luck.

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