My gf wants to watch me with another girl....

[dubvee]

We've been dating for about a year and a half and lately I found out that one of her sexual fantasies is that she wants to have a threesome...with me and another girl(one of her friends). I know she loves me and positive she isn't bisexual(although she has had one of her friends get her off with a vibrator before once). I'm just curious if this is natural for females. I found out the main reason she wants to have a threesome is so she can watch me get with another girl. We gave our virginity to each other(19 and 17) and I'm just trying to figure this out. She has never been the most open person about her emotions so it's hard to get stuff out of her sometimes. Also, we have a VERY satisfying sexual relationship so I know that's not an issue either. I don't know. I would definitely want her to join in but might also be a little uncomfortable seeing her doing stuff with the other girl, just because I'm in love with her so much. I'm not sure if she would or not but in the heat of the moment I'm sure something would happen. She is really open and likes living crazy. Any thoughts? Is this normal for a girl? Does this have anything to do with her love towards me? I'd flip if I ever saw/heard of her doing anything with another guy. If this threesome does somehow come about would that give her a reason to want to be with another guy? All help is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[Emotional]

this is a daaa*n hard question dude lol..but yes it is normal for a lot of girls to be bi-curious with another girl..i myself have been expierienced with that kinda act.. im not bi tho it was just a thing i wondered about.

i think your girlfriend really loves u and wants u to get turned on by her n another girl.. (most guys) im not saying all of them but a lot of them seem to love the thoguht of lesbians..if thisis a fantasy for her u should support it unless it REALLY gives u that sick feelin in the pit of ur stomache..also if u end up not doing this "3sum with her and her friend" chances are she may do it behind ur back with yes another guy ... i dont know ur girlfriend personally but ive seem jerry springer before..it sounds to me like shes got a fantasy to make her n hopefully u happy too..ide say live it up and enjoy it ofcourse...dont get to into the other girl..ur girl might get jelous.. hope i helped some..

[lil_unique_me]

it is really normal to do this in fact its thought that about 75% of women at least think about doing it. im not sure though why you are so surprised cos i always thought that men liked them- am i right or have i just stereotyped you???

Catie xxx

[GeeCee]

Dubvee honey - one day you might look back at this confusion you are currently in and have a bemused smile.

 

Ok ... so here is my opinion ... firstly there is no 'normal' way that girls behave. What is normal to me is not necessarily normal to the next woman. I think that when consenting adults are involved ANYTHING is normal.

 

One word of caution - she has not told you directly, right, you found out about this fantasy. Now, personally, I have my fantasies graded on the likeliehood of realising them, with number 1 being totally depraved. I do not necessarily want to fuel all of my fantasies, but that is not the point. The thought alone stimulates me. She might not want to fulfill the fantasy. She might. You have to be careful and be sure that you want to be party to it. You would need to be totally secure in your relationship with your girl and her friend to proceed. As would she.

 

Guess what ... you might have a whole lot of fun!!! So you will need to have clear boundaries. Will this be a one-off. Will it be discussed afterwards? Will your friendship with the other girl remain as it is. Need to have very mature discussions about this before proceeding.

 

G xx

[Mork]

What's the problem? Shit man, this is a dream cum true. Go for it and just hope she enjoys it and wants to try with other women. Maybe she has a sister she would like to watch you do. Just hope she does not pay more attention on her lady friend than you.

[dubvee]

Well actually she did bring it up, and she told me to pick one of her friends or even one of mine that I would want to do it with. Don't get me wrong, I'll be down with it. I just don't want it to affect our relationship, because although I do enjoy the sexual part of the relationship, I don't want this to hurt or make things weird on the other more intimate parts. I am just really in love with the girl, and thats another reason why I want to fulfill it. Because I know that if we don't last together, that I'd much rather her have a threesome with me than some other guy. The weird thing though is it does mean something that we gave up virginity to each other a while ago, and if she wants to watch me with one of her friends(she didn't exactly specify what we would be doing) that's just a little weird and makes me wonder if the whole virginity thing means anything to her. Then again I think about it, and it may actually improve the relationship. She would have one of her fantasies taken care of, and I know how girls want what they can't have, so if she watches me satisfy another girl(especially one of her friends), that would make her a little jealous and she would want me even more. Or am i wrong here? Thanks for the advice too.

[phil1981UK]

Just my opinion dude but I would be careful as hell with this one, especially if you love her so much.

 

First potential problem, she ends up resenting you for doing it cos whilst it was a good fantasy in her head, the reality may be a whole different matter. Probable result: End of relationship.

 

Secondly, as you mentioned, it could be to give herself a reason to be with another guy, i think this reason holds a lot of water as you were both virgins, maybe now shes wondering what another guy would be like and a good way for her to find out is by letting you go for it with another girl! Probable result: You have to let her do it cos she let you, then you cant handle it, end of relationship.

 

Third, you have a great time, want more of it, she dosent want you to but you cant stop yourself. Probable result: End of relationship.

 

Of course you may both have a great time, chalk it up to experince and both move on together, but it is massivly unlikely that there wont be some kind of negative repercussion from doing this, it just depends what it is and how bad it is.

 

All that aside, if you do go for it, have a great time ;-)

[CanadianGirl]

I'm not sure about this because of my personal feelings.

 

I am bisexual. I've had threesomes before....the girl was my choice, and it was always the other girl's boyfriend who was involved. I'm not sure how they reacted after the deed....but:

 

I also have this fantasy that I share my boyfriend with another girl. I fantasize about watching him do her and vice-versa. But, I am very deeply in love with my current boyfriend....and although having a threesome with him turns me on when in fantasy, I think it would kill me in reality...simply because I love him so much and I think it would freak me out to ACTUALLY watch him loving some other girl (ESPECIALLY if it was MY friend).

 

I don't think this girl really knows what she's getting into. Sometimes fantasies should remain just that - especially if you are in love. It's different when it's a fling or one-night-stand where feelings/emotions are not involved....just sex.

 

I think that if you have sex with her friend, reality will kick in and she will be deeply hurt and disturbed by the reality of the situation later.

 

I would advise against it. I don't think she will be able to cope with the sight of you giving it to her friend (if she truly loves you.) if she is just in lust with you, that's another story.

[Emotional]

go with ur instincs..yalla re in love.. this usually dont start happening until 2 are married and wanting to save a marrige also lo ut w/e floats ur boat..im dont givin u advice lol..u know deep down inside that ur gunna do it..so do it and have fun..pay more attention to ur girl..

[dubvee]

CanadianGirl........what you said really kind of makes sense to me. My girlfriend really does have a problem about saying stuff before she actually thinks about it. We were talking about sex at the time and thats how it came up. It's definitely not a serious issue just a fantasy, that's it. I think what I should do is not really mention it, anymore. That way, she will know I could care less about another girl, and also if she thinks it up on her own she will realize that maybe that's not something she wants to do with me. It will all hit her eventually I'm sure.

 

Wayne.....you bring up some good points too. As far as anything sexual, sure it would be cool and fun. But when you look at things as a whole, it would definitely create problems in the long run. I even told her that if someday we would get married, I would be up for stuff like that, just because we would know we were meant to be together and it wouldn't be as much of a big deal.

 

I'm still confused about the whole thing though. I really wish I could understand what she felt deep inside that made her think of this as a fantasy. She's a very tough girl to understand. I really do think I want to just not bring it up again. If she wants to after she's thought about it, that's fine. Maybe she will actually think about it and realize that's not what she wants afterall, and well, whatever happens, happens.

[Clou51585]

I think you should talk to her more about it before deciding.

 

I know personally i'm crazy because i'm a guy and have no interest at all in a 3-some.. ( WHAA???!! you say) If i was in love with my girl-friend i want to make love to HER, not her FRIEND, personally...plus it seems intensely awkward to me, but i'm sure some people could enjoy it so see what she thinks.

[HeartOnWheels]

I completely agree with those who are cautious.

 

I was offered a threesome with my long term g/f and her best friend. Now I really found her friend attractive too but after considering it, I turned it down. What's fun for an evening had the potential of going very badly later on down the track. Sex is great with someone you love, but you have to be very careful when you start going down the extra-person road or even other fantasies/desires.

 

For me it just didn't feel right, I was too freaked out by it, what the consequences might be. Don't listen to any hornball male friends that say "go on my brotha, go for it, you'll love it", chances are they're livng their fantasy out through you and getting off on it. Listen to your heart and not your penis, tough job I can vouch for that but worth doing.

 

Fantasies are great in your head. Fantasies may be great during the act. However fantasies can quickly stop being great after you've climaxed.

[GeeCee]

You got some great advice on the question you posed. Did you make a decision?

 

G xx