will we stop being angry with each other one day!?

[exback]

So as I told you before my boyfriend/fiance broke up with me without telling me he broke up after 4 years. Sounds crazy but he just started ignoring me because I nagged and never talked to me again, no final conversation, nothing...So 6 weeks long I tried everything till I accepted that he broke up by ignoring me: pleading, begging, everything, I even apologized for nearly everything I did or didn't do and I wrote an angry email ONCE during that 6 weeks. Even his best friend stopped talking to me because of my behavior..

Today, 2.5 months (since that 6 weeks) and 4 months since the first day he started ignoring me, he is still angry with me (friends told me) and that's why he still ignores me and talks bad about me...

 

Sometimes I am very angry because of the way he acts: ignoring, sending my stuff via mail, talking bad about me and so on...but nevertheless other than he I don't think he is a bad guy, it was just an ugly break up and both of us are hurt and angry...

 

Will he ever stop being angry and start thinking rational, stop thinking that I am the worst after 4 years!??????????????????????

[mca1975]

Im a bit confused. You were together for 4 years and he broke up with you six weeks ago but didnt explain the reasons, and now he talks badly about you/ignores you?

 

You say that his friend also started to ignore you because of your behaviour, what behaviour do you think they are talking about and is there any truth in it?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You can't control whether or not he will stay angry..you just have to move on with your life. If he is angry that is his problem..he could be angry more at himself than at you because he knows he has been a jerk and that he is a loser with his school work..so he is projecting his anger at himself and his situation on to you. He lashed out at you..basically pinning the blame of all his own issues on to you...you are his scapegoat for his own failures. The more he can turn his anger on you and turn his friend's anger on you the less he has to examine himself and his own failings. So forget about him and focus on your own life...you don't need someone who will use you as a scapegoat.

[exback]

@mca: I nagged, he started ignoring, I tried to contact him 6 weeks long then stopped trying and did NC for 2.5 months...But, yes: "didnt explain the reasons, and now he talks badly about you/ignores you". He had trouble at university (he doesn't have his bachelor's degree after 6 years) and he didn't spend any time with me in weeks so I nagged and so he left because he didn't have the time or was tired to deal with a nagging girlfriend... He blames me for his problems at university and I don't exactly know why...

 

"what behaviour do you think they are talking about and is there any truth in it???" think it is about my behavior AFTER the break up. He and his best friend think I am crazy and the worst because I was begging and pleading and nagging 6 weeks long...

 

@Crazyaboutdogs: that is exactly how I feel. I feel as if he thinks I am responsible for his problems and as if not talking to me and forgetting me and blaming me will solve everything...He thinks I destroyed his life because he spend time with me instead of studying for examinations. But truth is: it was his decision to spend time with me instead of learning...I didn't force him to do so!!!!! I wish I could tell him what I think but I am afraid it will make everything worse and it shouldn't bother me anymore!!!!

[Lamprey]

he didn't spend any time with me in weeks so I nagged

 

But truth is: it was his decision to spend time with me instead of learning...I didn't force him to do so!!!!!

 

How do you reconcile these two statements?