I miss him so much

[exback]

We broke up 3.5 months ago after 4 years, he dumped me. And I feel horrible. It is not about getting back together anymore even if I would wish for him to miss me, too. I just whish that feeling would stop. The moment I wake up I feel as if there is something in my stomach and I miss him so much....

 

Any experience how long that will take to heal after 4 years!?

 

It feels as if I can't get happy anymore and it tortures me to know, that MAYBE I'm the only one left with this kind of feelings whereas he might be happy without me since he decided to break up and to have no contact.

 

It just helps to talk about it....

[Katie1607308012]

it does help to talk about it, i was with my ex for 2 and half years, i just got over him a year later (i think) it totally depends on you though, keep yourself busy, it'll take a long time and a lot of healing.

 

Hope you'll be okay xxxxx

[huckleberry28]

hello, exback, and thanks for posting. I have been walking around all day today with the same thoughts in my head. So strange to remember that at any time there are many people around us also experiencing heartbreak and loss.

 

At this point I'm coming to terms with the end of my 3 year relationship and can rationally understand that we are probably better off apart. I see now there were many red flags, even though the break up caught me completely off-guard and I still love him dearly.

 

As you say, the hardest part now is waking up and missing him, remembering the good times and getting sad, and generally just feeling a bit lost after having and being a loving companion for so long.

 

I think writing and talking about it is helping me. Forcing myself to exercise and be social also helps, though it's difficult to do. I have also spent a lot of time meditating and envisioning myself happy and whole, and thinking about all the dreams I have for my life and what it will take to achieve them. I recommend making a "dream map" on a big piece of paper (or a wall, if you are fortunate enough to be able to paint/draw directly on one). Having a visual reminder of my chosen life path is helping me to see the big picture and realize that even though I feel sad and lost right now, I am truly moving forward and my life has fullness and purpose.

 

One more small and ridiculously romantic trick I've been pulling on myself: when it's late and I'm trying to fall asleep, I pretend "as if" I'm laying next to my future sweetheart, who is wonderful and loving and committed to building a life with me. I let my mind wander into all sorts of cheesy pillow-talk, and say lots of sweet and caring things to myself on behalf of the person who will someday become my lover and partner.

 

cheers to you and to all of us for having the courage to love and the strength and grace to deal with love's aftermath.

 

be well!

[annie24]

One more small and ridiculously romantic trick I've been pulling on myself: when it's late and I'm trying to fall asleep, I pretend "as if" I'm laying next to my future sweetheart, who is wonderful and loving and committed to building a life with me. I let my mind wander into all sorts of cheesy pillow-talk, and say lots of sweet and caring things to myself on behalf of the person who will someday become my lover and partner.

 

oooh, i like this! i think this is good advice. it reminds me, at weight watchers, they often tell us to 'visualize the positive outcome' you want - whether that is fitting into a favorite outfit, or being able to go to a buffet and go for the vegetables and lean meats and bypass the greasy stuff and dessert. visualizing a positive outcome is good.

[Brokenheart00]

me and my ex broke up for 3 weeks and I know that feeling. It hurts so much that it's better to die than to face it. But no matter how hurt you are, try to cry and overcome it. I guess you shouldn't try to contact him.

 

I overcome somewhat of that feeling. You can do it.

[nicknick]

The thing people have to remember is that these break-ups and relationships ending are major events in our lives.

 

There is nothing minor about these things. It is a form of bereavement for we have experienced a loss.

 

Six years ago i was dumped by my first true love. My pain over 6 months was indescribable..i lost 3 stones in weight! I couldn't eat and constantly felt like a knife was twisting in my stomach...a sort of empty feeling that was constantly there. Sleep was my only relief...daylight hours were a nightmare...being awake was torture.

 

Then one morning i woke up and the blackness that had been engulfing me had gone! I had never felt so good in my life.

 

The cure? Time.

 

These things take time. For some it will be more than others i'm afraid..but ultimately time will heal everything.

 

 

Good luck and may God bless you all.

[Copper]

Hey exback, your not alone. Day 3 of NC for me...My first love broke up with me on the 13th...I feel like life isn't worth living anymore. But things will get better. We just gotta take it day by day. Time will get us through this.

 

good luck