Help! Now what do I do?!

[halfpint1607306450]

Before anyone says that I need to spice things up, don't. I continually strive to keep my husband's attention sexually. I try new things everytime I learn of something that I'm not doing and men like, except for a threesome, sorry, I can't go there. I wear differant lingerie often, at least three times a month. I let him keep the light on when he wants to. I light candles and play music. I surprise him sometimes when he least expects it. I have watched porno movies with him before but he doesn't seem to enjoy us watching it together, I don't get that either. I have masterbated in front of him and with him. For our upcoming anniversary I am learning to exotic dance. I will admit that I don't have sex with him every single time he wants it, but it is few and far between, he is not deprived.

 

So now for the reason I'm needing advice. I posted a couple of days ago about my husband looking at porn and it really hurting me. Well, we talked about it again and he first said that it was a harmless hobby but also said that he may be becoming addicted, he wasn't sure. He told me that I could change the internet password or turn it off all together. I am very afraid that he is going to resent me for doing either one. Ecspecially now that I read that he may be tempted to cheat on me if he is not looking at porn. Is it really that important to men to look at other naked women? I know women don't have to look at naked men to be happy. Maybe that's why this is so hard for me to understand. I DO understand that men are more visual, but to the point that they cheat if they don't see other women naked besides there s.o.

 

What if I turned off the internet and subscribed him to Playboy? Would that be acceptable to a man or would that not be enough either? I am in NO way trying to be sarcastic. I want to know just how important this is. I don't want to push him away but if he is addicted and has easy access to it, then what? (he seems to now be looking at it 4-8 hours a week or just about every time he gets online and I'm gone or in bed.) He says that he does not get aroused or turned on by looking at it, but I don't think I believe that. I mean if it's not doing anything for him at all why would he wanna look at it so much? Is it really nothing more than curosity?

 

I have tried looking at some men myself online, not because I felt the urge but because I thought maybe I would be okay with him looking at it if I did, but it seemed like all the men online naked are on gay sites, which I did not enjoy at all. Maybe I don't know how to search for it. Anyway, if anyone could give me some advice on what to do, I would greatly appreciate it. (guys opinions would be helpful also)

 

Also, is there a chance porn addiction could lead to something that will really distroy our marriage? I mean with any addiction, doesn't the need escalate?

 

Thanks in advance to all!

 

Half-pint

[Jonathan_in_fl1607306450]

I am so sorry to say this but it is usually a sign that he is not happy with himself or the relationship. It usually dosent have to do with sex and you.

[jujigatame]

Could be this: Does he have some kind of fetish? Seriously, if he does, it may not be something he's comfortable telling you about or feels guilty for having. He could visit some "normal" web sites, surf around for a while, and then hit up some wild kink site when he's been "broken in" by the more vanilla content. This could also serve to help him hide his true desires from you. Also, it could be that he's seeking an escape from something nonsexual - it may or may not be part of your relationship at all. Could he be suffering from depression?

 

I've never been sexually active, so I don't know anything else about the sexual dynamic. Sorry. But posting here is certainly a good idea, as it keeps anonymity pretty high! I hope it works out for you. Later!