Is she trying to hurt me more?

[brokenheart311]

So a few of you have maybe followed what has been happening with me, but most probably not.

 

I have been doing my best to remain NC or at least very LC and that is only if there is something specific that she needs and she initiates contact. So today marks the 5th week since she left. she kept talking about moving her stuff out of my house and the day she left she said she was going to forward her address to her dad's. She has been contacting me on a weekly basis to come over and get her mail, got mad when one week I took it to her dad's house instead of letting her come over.

 

So the last time I spoke with her was last Friday, we saw each other at church on sunday, but ignored each other and didn't speak at all, even though her son clung to me before kids were released for the childcare portion of the service. 5 weeks later I still get all of her mail and she has only picked up a little more than a suitcases worth of clothes, shoes and her bible as well as some toys for her son.

 

the last time that she was over getting clothes and stuff she said she was going to start making trips out once or twice a week to get her things out. That was a week and a half ago and the only thing she came over to get was some mail last Friday.

 

We were supposed to be getting married this Saturday and i just now logged onto facebook and had an event update. She, at some point, set up and event invite to go out to anyone on FB that was invited to our wedding. I was suprised to get it since she had set up a wedding party group on FB but deleted it when she broke things off. I kinda doubt that she forgot about this auto invite since she is the only admin and I knew nothing about it.

 

I guess it just hurts to get this faceless reminder that this Saturday was supposed to be one of the biggest days of my life and now I have nothing to do and most of my friends and family are out of town so I'll be all alone. There are such ambiguous actions and messages (she never could give me a reason why she ended it, because she said I was perfect for her and she loves me, but is scared that we'd get divorced someday). I've talked to female friends of mine at work and others I've known for years and they are surprised that I still get mail for her and that 98% of her stuff is in my house 5 weeks later. Several have said that they think she isn't done with us and that is holding her back. Several weeks ago her dad even left me a voicemail and said it was his father's intuition that things will work out.

 

I'm just so confused, I miss her and her son so much. Every time I feel like I'm starting to heal and to a place I can move on I get more mail for her or like today get this "event reminder". I really don't know what to do or think, I want them both back with all of my heart, but don't know how much longer I can live is this f-ing limbo.

[DN]

Pack up all of her stuff and have it delivered to her home. Forward her mail to her immeidtaly it is received. And stop checking her facebook or opening anything that is forwarded from her FB or e-mail.

[Lauren.xo]

Take control. She left you. Pack her things, and forward her mail to her. Don't be that friend to help her through this, she left you. If she wants to come back to you, she will... But what she is doing to you now is extremely unhealthy and not letting you move forward. Take a step yourself!

[yumicecream]

Are there any friends you can talk to during this time? I REALLY THINK you need to NC her. It really is sad she is doing this to her son, who had a man that cared about him. You should move to a different place and date different women. How long were you with her? What reasons did she have for leaving? How deeply invested was she with all your friends, etc.?

[brokenheart311]

Are there any friends you can talk to during this time? I REALLY THINK you need to NC her. It really is sad she is doing this to her son, who had a man that cared about him. You should move to a different place and date different women. How long were you with her? What reasons did she have for leaving? How deeply invested was she with all your friends, etc.?

 

 

I can't move, at least not quickly, i own the house and would have to sell it. I have tons of friends who I can talk to, unfortunately they all have family plans this weekend. We were together just under 2 years, her and her son lived with me for the past 16 months.

 

Reasons for leaving: first she wanted 2 weeks to find out if she was ready to get married, told me she loved me so much, perfect for her, but not sure all of the sudden. Then 2 days later I confronted her about something she lied about early on in our relationship, told her I found out, and that I forgive her. She then ended the engagement and relationship and started saying she didn't love me as much as I love her, she can't sacrifice for me the way I can for her.

 

Dating: This subject feels odd to me right now. I know some really beautiful women, but for some reason don't feel attracted to them.

 

Friends: During the course of our time together she got to know my friends pretty well. On my last birthday she secretly called about ten of them to surprise me while we were out bowling. She doesn't talk to them now and I don't talk to hers either. We do have some mutual friends from church, I try not to talk to them about her unless they ask.

 

You know what though, it does feel better to type it out on here. Thanks.

[longdist]

She then ended the engagement and relationship and started saying she didn't love me as much as I love her, she can't sacrifice for me the way I can for her.

 

For what it's worth, I also had a similar response from my ex. This weekend will also have some significance to me. Unfortunately, I only very recently verified that my ex is seeing someone else (one of her good friends), which is going to put a damper on things. Luckily, things don't bother me nearly to the same degree anymore. You will get to that point too. However, I hope you can take comfort knowing that you won't be the only one feeling a little suffering this weekend.