COtuner Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Well heh, I'm shy and I would never approach a girl and I think that puts me in a bit of a dihlema. But yeah honestly I don't expect women to approach me as I don't approach at all. I find approaching women and strangers in general as rather awkward... It's really not about looks, it's more if you're open, friendly and approachable...which I'm not. I would agree with this. A lot of guys simply do not look friendly whatsoever when they are looking. They look like they are scowling. No way do I want to approach that, and I usually take it to mean they don't like me at all or find me unattractive. I stop looking in their direction and ignore them. There's also the funny thing I always laugh at.... the really young guys who have this look of awe on their face when they see a woman. You can almost read their mind.... "wow... boobs.....!!" There were a couple of really young guys at the gym yesterday walking around with their mouthes in a perfect "O" just looking at all the women. I had a hard time not just starting to giggle. It was like wearing a sign saying "I am a virgin". I wonder if any girls their age would approach them? Link to comment
Bartok Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 The answer is: no, they do not approach guys they find attractive. Everyone in this thread might provide evidence to the contrary, but ignore that. You can't depend on women approaching you - you have to approach them if you want anything to happen. I would agree with this. A lot of guys simply do not look friendly whatsoever when they are looking. They look like they are scowling. No way do I want to approach that, and I usually take it to mean they don't like me at all or find me unattractive. I stop looking in their direction and ignore them. OK, then what are we supposed to do? My "neutral" look is often intimidating to other people (no idea why), and it's pretty much impossible for me to think about it 100% of the time and correct it with a permanent smile. Link to comment
COtuner Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 OK, then what are we supposed to do? My "neutral" look is often intimidating to other people (no idea why), and it's pretty much impossible for me to think about it 100% of the time and correct it with a permanent smile. An example of "correcting" that I've had to do... my mouth has a natural slight downturn when I am just being neutral. It's just the way my face is, inherited it from my mom. So I've learned to have what FEELS like a half smile on my face when I'm out in "public", which actually looks more neutral. It's just a slight movement but people don't ask me if I'm upset anymore so it must work. With guys, it seems to be more forehead and eyebrows than mouth. They look like they are in a bad mood. Maybe start being more aware of how you respond physically when you see a woman you like - you might pick up on some subconscious expression that you don't even know you're doing... We all have things like that - some folks cross their arms, some look down, some start sweating... just an idea. Link to comment
RomanticAthart Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Please don't make us do all the work, OP. I can see a guy not be willing to approach women if he's not that great look and has been shot down by women alot before. But you really have no excuse if you are a handsome guy. Just be courageous, be friendly and be respectful and you will proably be writing about your new gf next week! Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 i don't approach guys unless i'm at a bar having fun. i used to ask guys out without even thinking about it. it has given me sucess, but society has successfully beat the 'if he isn't approaching you, he's not interested' into my head. Link to comment
Jake Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I admittingly have a little scowl on my face and I do this because I'm shy so it's kind of a self defense thingy and I know it's also very unproductive when it comes to women. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 There's also the funny thing I always laugh at.... the really young guys who have this look of awe on their face when they see a woman. You can almost read their mind.... "wow... boobs.....!!" There were a couple of really young guys at the gym yesterday walking around with their mouthes in a perfect "O" just looking at all the women. I had a hard time not just starting to giggle. It was like wearing a sign saying "I am a virgin". I wonder if any girls their age would approach them? I try to keep the expression on the inside....but i'm generally thinking the same way. I'm 25 going on 12. Link to comment
michelangelo Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 You're at bars. Women are seldom worth getting to know there. Try other places. Agree with the above. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Please don't make us do all the work, OP. I can see a guy not be willing to approach women if he's not that great look and has been shot down by women alot before. But you really have no excuse if you are a handsome guy. Just be courageous, be friendly and be respectful and you will proably be writing about your new gf next week! guys can't be shy??? Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Bars aren't good places to meet women unless you are an extroverted guy,if you are shy ,forget about bars.If you are shy you will have a hard enough time trying to meet women in an ideal situation or place,let alone a bar. Link to comment
Bartok Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 An example of "correcting" that I've had to do... my mouth has a natural slight downturn when I am just being neutral. It's just the way my face is, inherited it from my mom. So I've learned to have what FEELS like a half smile on my face when I'm out in "public", which actually looks more neutral. It's just a slight movement but people don't ask me if I'm upset anymore so it must work. I'll try it... see what happens. I'll try to be aware of my eyebrows, too, but I have no idea how I'd change that to look less intimidating. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I never said anything about people being "good" or "bad." Time and time again I've heard people say that bars are no place to search for a relationship. Which he isn't, so irrelevant. good or bad, you said people in bars aren't worth getting to know. wow, here's a tomato. :splat: Link to comment
COtuner Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I'll try it... see what happens. I'll try to be aware of my eyebrows, too, but I have no idea how I'd change that to look less intimidating. Let us know - I bet it helps get you more eye contact or smiles As for the eyebrows, just have to pay attention to how your forehead feels, If it feels tight like the skin does when you're frowning or squinting, you're probably subconsciously going into a scowl type expression. I learned this when I was being told to stop being so demonstrative with my facial expressions because it would give me more wrinkles later on!! Link to comment
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