Getting connected to life for fun and joy again.

[device04]

hey canali,

 

Just want to chime in quickly and say great job and keep it up. Sounds like you are doing a lot to keep yourself busy and moving forward. We can all take a page out of your playbook.

 

As for ScorpioGal, Ellandroader, viajera, I have read a lot of your posts as well over the last few months. It's so great to hear of your progress as well; along with everyone else. For those in the beginning stages, feel your pain and work your way out of the darkness. There is life after the breakup, a brighter, fuller life than you can possibly imagine at this point in time. We have all been there, but only you can know what you need to do in order to find yourself again.

 

As for me, being back in the states for two weeks now, it's been good. Time feels like it's going by slowly, feel like I've been back for longer. Nevertheless, I think of my ex less and less, spend my days with my sister (who is home for the summer from college), family time at night, planning a possible trip to Europe later this summer, and preparing for a family trip to Yosemite at the end of the month. Also doing what I can to prepare for graduate school (should start reviewing my calculus and statistics soon) and the probable move to Beijing for those studies. All in all, it's been a bit tough this time around with the breakup because my life has been in transition, but I'm looking forward to the changes and what's to come as well.

 

I've learned that you have to keep on moving forward. One door has closed (maybe only for now, maybe for good) but many others will open for you. It may not be apparent just yet, but keep living your life (for you) and making sure you care for you first and foremost, the rest will take care of itself. Good luck and keep your heads up. There are better days ahead.

 

All the best.

[canali]

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good blog from 'getting past..' on rebuilding:

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please give me your thoughts on this pdf from ''the happiness club''.

 

EXCERPT:

" The reality and the ideal:

The late Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz (1874-1936) observed: “People become so

used to being unhappy they are unaware of the needless misery they cause

themselves. They imprison themselves by filling their minds with thoughts of

resentment, hatred, envy, and desires. It is amazing how they tolerate living such a life.

The only reason they do tolerate it is because they have become so used to living with such thoughts

they feel it is the normal picture of life. They mistakenly think that it is impossible for life to be any different.

 

"You have the ability to make yourself happier than you presently are. A person who mistakenly thinks there

is nothing he can do to increase his happiness will fail to make the necessary effort to improve.''

END OF EXCERPT.

 

also i realize why my recovery has really taken a turn upward: not only am I walking the walk and getting out there to 'face my fears' but also by joining the clubs that I have (kayaking, mtn biking, tennis) I'm both looking FORWARD to new events, meeting new people and engaging in stimulating exercises in new environments (new lakes to explore via kayaking/new trails to explore via the mtn bike clubs) and making 'activity buddies' all the way.

 

plus i find the more you get socially connected you get even more information for additional resources, ideas, clubs to join/partake in.

 

but you gots to first get out there: open your mind, open your spirit, open your heart.

[santosha]

Great links! I found the first two - GPYP "rebuild it" and the fearless living especially helpful. Haven't gotten through the PDF piece yet, but it looks interesting.

 

A couple of months ago I read a book that I thought was really great Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships; Healing the Wound of the Heart by John Welwood link removed It's really less about conventional relationship stuff and more about our relationships to ourselves. The author is a psychologist who integrates a lot of Eastern philosophies into his work/writing.

 

Awesome that you're feeling the results of your efforts canali. I have to admit the moonlight kayak outing sounds super fun! And it can't hurt that you're in beautiful Vancouver - so much great outdoors stuff to do!