My husband cheated on me

[Jenna12721]

My husband and I have been together for 14 years, and married for 7-1/2. He was trying to tell me for some time that he wanted our marriage to be like it used to. I got so caught up in the kids and work, plus the house, and I went to school full time (which I dropped out of). I took a lot for granted. On Feb 24 he told me that he has been seeing another woman since November. At first he said nothing happened, but since November I had been asking if there was someone else, so I knew there had to have been more to what he'd been saying. I was finally able to get him to admit that he had been sleeping with her.

 

He works nights and that is when he would see her. My world came crashing down aroundme. I would continue to ask him if he ever talked to her again and he swore no. I found the cell phone bill and had seen that he did in fact call her the night he told me and the following night.

 

This is from a man that couldn't tell a lie if you held a gun to his head. I would have trusted him to the day I died had he not told me. I thought we had a great relationship. We always kept our independance because we had trust.

 

Anyway, all of the normal feelings are still here. It is all I think, eat and sleep. I really wish I could have hated him so badly that I could not stand to look at him, but I am so in love with him that I can't even imagine my life without him.

 

What is really getting to me the most is he wants to go to Florida with one of his friends to visit another friend and I don't want him to go. He doesn't understand where I am coming from with this and expects us to work past this and move on. He doesn't understand that I am grieving.

 

I try to explain to him that it is difficult for me to get past and he says he understands, but he will never understand.

 

I can go on about this for so long, but I really need someone. I can't go to my family because we are still together and they would never forgive him, and when I tried to tell my best friend she began to judge him and I found myself defending him, WHICH IS THE LAST THING I WANTED TO DO. I have so many health problems, including today they found something in my uterus and I have to go for a D&C, and I am only 29. HELP!

[Michael2]

Hey Jenna, sorry to hear about your situation.

 

You have a long road ahead of you, but trust me, you will heal.

 

I suggest you check out an awesome site for infidelity

link removed

 

I suggest counseling ASAP, the longer you hold this; the harder it will be to overcome.

 

Many couples have overcome infidelity, and have even strengthened their relationships.

 

Best of luck. Post here, it helps a great deal.

[Micksbabyboo]

Hey What you have said is a really hard thing to go through, for some one as close as a husband to cheat on you must be horrifying. Im not married but i can imagen how bad it is, However, Infedelity is a Big issue, Not something to let pass by. My Advice to u is talk to him, Tell him how you feel, Make him Understand what he did wasnt right and tell him you dont trust him leaving to florida because the trust has left the relationship. I know its hard to let some one you love go, But if they are miss treating you or your feelings or doing something to hurt you as a women you should stand for your feelins, Emotions and Selfrespect and let him go, You know what they say once a cheater always a cheater. Im sure it was hard for him to admit that he was cheating, But if he had enought balls to cheat he also should have enought to take the responsibility's for his actions. Nothing, Not even you going to school and taking care of the house and working like all women should, Makes it ok for a man to turn around and cheat on you.

 

I hope this helps you and lets you know that its not your fault.

[Jenna12721]

Thank you so much for your reply. I went right to the site and posted already. I hope this gets easier.

 

Hey Jenna, sorry to hear about your situation.

 

You have a long road ahead of you, but trust me, you will heal.

 

I suggest you check out an awesome site for infidelity

link removed

 

I suggest counseling ASAP, the longer you hold this; the harder it will be to overcome.

 

Many couples have overcome infidelity, and have even strengthened their relationships.

 

Best of luck. Post here, it helps a great deal.

[Emmylu]

I think your husband needs to think about things clearly, and then give you an answer. It's possible to forgive and move on after this, but you two really need to talk. He needs to have self-knowledge, and then relate that to you. It seems now he just doesn't want to talk about it at all because he feels guilty and is afraid to face you on this issue. He needs to ask himself why he did it, does he regret it, does he want to save the marriage, will he likely cheat again, if not, how does he know he won't, etc. "I don't know" is not an answer. If he wants to be happy, he needs to know himself well.

[bbb31302]

My husband cheated on me 2 months ago. I understand how you feel. We are now seeing a marriage counselor and that has really helped us out a lot. Every marriage is different but we had a lot of problems before it all happened that we didn't realize until we started seeing a counselor. I'm not big on someone else helping me solve my problems but with something as huges as this I had to do something. I also know how you feel about wanted to hate your husband because I felt the same way. I just couldn't do it either. When you've love someone so much its really hard to be mean to them even when they've hurt you so badly. I hope your pain is eased over time. Please e-mail me if you ever want to chat. It really helps me to talk to people who have been through the same thing that I have!