I did it again! Damn it!

[lisaria]

After three weeks of no contact I did it! Damn it! Now I'm so mad at myself. It wasn't much of anything, just an email that I forwarded to a bunch of people and I added his email to it. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I want to take it back. Damn it!!!! Tomorrow we were supposed to leave for our vacation and I am feeling so weak today. Well obviously...I contacted him. I know he won't reply or anything so I don't know why I did it. I guess maybe hoping. Now I have to start all over. Oh crap!!!!! I'm venting everyone. Feeling really bad now. One day strong, next day weak. Today is the weak day. I dread tomorrow. We were leaving on a 12:45 plane tomorrow. God, I need help to get through this.

[cakes]

Try to enjoy your vacation, this might be a new start for you get your mind off him and just enjoy where you're going to go!! You've got a life without him!! Make sure you believe it!! Just have fun girl! I know breakups are difficult...sometimes a vacation is just what you need

[lisaria]

Thanks Cakes, but unfortunately I'm not going anywhere. He's going with his new g/f, it was supposed to be us and he's taking someone else and I'm having a hard time right now dealing with that. I wish I WAS going on a vacation. I wish I had not sent that damned email. He'll think I'm playing with him. Still thinking about him. I mean I am, but I sure don't want him to know that. Sigh.

[February]

Lis,

Don't feel bad, I did something ALOT more stupid and now feel just as bad as you. YUCK. This is kinda funny though, maybe it will lift your spirits (I actually wasn't going to post this, but for the humor and the lession here goes...)

So my ex emailed me last Monday asking how my wknd was etc. Was a nice email, well I waited a day and then broke out rules and emailed back, a cute nice email, breezy etc. Well he NEVER emailed back so I felt crappy so this Monday I thought, why should he be the last to hear from me? So I recaled the message, well I thought that wold delete it butya know what that does? It tells the person you want to recall the message. SH&%!!!! I didn't realize it until I got his out of office reply in his email. Yikes. And the worst thing is he didn't respond after that either. I thought that if he saw that he might think "what the?" and then email me back. But no, nada, zilch. So now, HE knows I wanted to recall the message.

 

You gotta admit that is kinda funny and pretty bad. At least you just sent him something you sent to everyone. Mine was a "I am recalling the email I sent to you b/c you didn't email me back"...that is bad.

 

Feel any better?

[may55]

Hey this happens all the time!

 

Why not try to stop caring what HE thinks - granted easier said than done. Who cares if you contacted him? Although I am a full supporter of the no contact rule, you are human. You are probably having a hard time dealing with rejection and a broken heart.

 

Try empowering yourself by realizing that he can't handle contact with you. It's his problem, not yours.

[February]

May55

You are right. It is their problem. It is kinda funny if you think about it in the big scheme of things. We should not feel rejected but wonder more what thier serious issues are that they are incapable of just being a bigger person and acting like adults. In my head I know I am much better off without my ex, and I am trying to get that message accross to my heart. It takes time but I know I can do it. They aren't worth our time or all our thoughts. If they wake up and realize someday they were completely wrong, and that they pushed off their feeligns and avoided us, etc. well then we are better off w/o them--people who are capable of acting that way are capable of doing it again. Their are alot of better more true people (like us) out there.

[lisaria]

Hey February, I gotta admit I did laugh. Thank you so much, I needed that. It's nice to know I'm not in the boat by myself. How long had it been since you last contacted him? Mine was 3 weeks. It seems like eons and it gets better. I know it will and it will for you too. I just have to get past today. I keep thinking I want to go home and check out the airport when our flight was supposed to leave. 12:45. Lunch time. But I won't do that. I hope I'm not that stupid. Hang in there Feb. and laugh, it is kinda funny. I'm glad I don't know how to call back an email, cause I certainly would have done it and then I'd be in your shoes.

I do thank you for the story, it did help.

L