I'm 20, he's 16...is it wrong?

[Decado]

Hey all,

 

i'm posting here in an effort to still my restless conscience (it's 3am

 

I dont want to ramble on for too long so i'll be short. I replied to personal add last week from a 16yo guy (i'm a 20yo guy). Initially i just wanted a guy to chat to and maybe just a bit of flirting. We got chatting and we seem to click. He's so sweet and he says things that just make me smile.

 

The problem is that he's only 16 and is already talking of love and boyfriends. I'm scared that he's going to get too attached to me too quickly, before i have the time to figure out how i feel. I'm scared that, if we do start dating, he'll look back at this and regret it. I just dont want to hurt him.

 

Is 16 too young please let me know your thoughts.

 

Decado

[yellowcal]

Truth of the matter is, you are both probably at different points in your life right now even though it is only 4 years, 16 is still quite young to know what "love" is and typically it takes true experience for one to really truly know what they want (Not saying it isn't possible for a 16 year old to be in true love, I was at 16 but most 16 years old don't have what it takes to accept the "responsibilities" on a real relationship. That can really end badly for both of you. As for the age itself, is it "legal" where you live? (one of the biggest concerns you should have, even if it isn't sexual right away)

[Capricorn3]

Many people may not agree with me, but I think at 16 he is too young. You're already at a different level of maturity - he's still a kid, possibly still in high school. I think you need to put your focus elsewhere and look to people closer to your own age, but that's just me.

[forever1130]

I'm scared that, if we do start dating, he'll look back at this and regret it. I just dont want to hurt him.

 

 

I was 16 when i started dating my ex who was at the time 21 and i dont regret it for one second. I've always been very mature so it was just natural being with someone a bit older. however, you have to realize that you are at different points in your life. he's still got a year or two of highschool left while you are probably in college/working towards a career and no matter how hard you try to make things work, sometimes they just dont. thats life. that's pretty much what happened between me and my ex, but nevertheless i still dont regret being with him!

[Supa_gurl]

I do think that it is wrong...for now. If he was just a little older, 17? Or even better 18, I would say go for it. The poor guy is possibly just starting to understand what is going on with his sexuality and he needs a little more time and maturity before getting into anything too serious. I find that is goes this way for hetero relationships as well.

[1WayTicket2Norway]

the only problem i see with this relationship is that you are an adult, and he isn't. 4 years isn't a big age gap, but because of where you both are in terms of maturity, it becomes quite significant. Also ask yourself where you think this relationship will go, because you both are still young and there really is no need to commit to anything.

[Decado]

you guys are all probably right....i kinda wanted the opposite general reaction. These sort of feelings dont really allow for straight thinking.

 

thanks

[tomtommyboy]

No I don't think 20 and 16 is "wrong" in any moral sense. But you may, ultimately, want different things. I'd say, at the least, it's unlikely to be a successful relationship.