Need help with his ex!!

[ozarkmomma]

Hi all, I am new here and I joined so I could get some advice.

 

I have been married for 13 yrs, and my husband was married previously. My problem is..... his ex wife, has always sorta stayed in contact with him. She has sent cards, post cards, pictures, etc. Once in a while there might have been a phone call here or there. She is now divorced from her second marriage, and she has moved closer to us. Its still about 250 miles away.Now, she is sending my husband e-mails more fequently than ever. She even called him on his last birthday.The e-mails are about anything and everything.

My husband and I have had arguaments about this... so now he trys to delete her e-mails before I see them. But, not being as smart as I am....I have been able to see most of them. There is nothing like sex or sex talk going on, but I feel like this is disrespectful to me. He disagrees, and says he is doing nothing wrong. He says, that they broke up as friends, and he doesnt love her anymore, period.

Now...... she has a son, that my husband hasnt seen in many yrs. The son is grown and is married with children of his own. Over the last 13 yrs, her son has e-mail or phoned my husband ...maybe.... 4 times.

His ex e-amiled my husband the other day and asked if her son could come down to visit him.(without her)

I feel that this is just another way of his ex trying to incorporate herself into our lives.

We have had many discussions about this....and come up with no solutions....

Am I being irrational, or jealous? I want it to STOP!!! I feel that there is no need to have any contact with her, and my husband says he doesnt want to be mean, and tell her to stop e-mailing because I dont like it. He says it will make him sound like a P_ ssy.

I need help!!!

[Velkeria]

SOunds to me like your husband needs to decide whether hurting you or his ex wife is more damaging to his life....

 

Just my two cents but, i would think if there is no love, and you have been married for 13 years, YOU should be the most important thing.

 

You said he doesn't want to be mean and sound like a P*, but cmon what does this woman really mean ? If she means nothing like he says than he should have no problem letting her go. mean or not.

 

Hope this helps

[ozarkmomma]

Vel, thank you for your fast reply.Since I wrote the post, my hubby has written her a e-mail. This is what he wrote. Now, He showed me this after he wrote it.

 

 

"Of course I'd like to see Steve and family this summer. Have him email me for directions, I doubt he would remember how to get here after all these years.

 

Now on to the continuing saga.... Kathy is still having problems with correspondence between you and I. It's so serious with her that she talked to a counselor she knows about it. After a lot of discussion between us it seems the only solution is no correspondence at all, email or otherwise. I trust you'll understand, but that's the way it has to be. No response needed to this."

 

Now, thats what he wrote, but do I believe him if he says she has stopped the correspondence? I have thought about e-mailing her myself, but I dont want to look and sound stupid, or like a irrational jealous wife.

[ezila]

I think you need to calm down about this. He's married to YOU, isn't he??

 

From what I read in your post, you have nothing to be threatened by. You said yourself, she's 250 miles away. Do you have any reasons for not trusting your husband to maintain an appropriate relationship with her?

 

Don't let your insecurities get the best of you. He's married to YOU - be happy with that!

[xtra]

yea i think ur overreacting a little bit u cant expect ur hubby to completely forget a woman he was married to if shes that far away nothing can happen so she sends emails shes probably feeling vulnerable bcuz of her recent divorce and just wants a man