Advice on pregnancy manipulation

[penelope13]

I also strongly recommend counseling if you want the relationship with her to work out.

 

On top of that I would seek legal counsel to ensure your rights to the baby.

 

This person sounds like all she wanted is a sperm donor no matter how and she seems to be threatening to leave you everytime you express your concerns, so I would make sure that she is not leaving you one day without access to the child.

[annalisa84]

As a woman I'm trying to understand her. I don't even want children right now, way too young, but..

 

If I was 30-35 and the doctors told me "now or never", I'ld most likely go for it! I'm a woman, I have a need to be a mother.

 

And for example, I was brought up by a single mom and she always told me, to only truly count on myself. And whatever comes to my life, to put my children first. The bond between a mother and a child I guess is much stronger than between a man and a woman. It has to be, otherwise we would be extinct..

 

So of course you're gf was wrong and manipulating, but perhaps in her head she had two choises: 1. to be woman - have you and your love, but probably no children. 2. to be a mom - have a child, but probably lose you. And she chose the 2nd one! I believe there would be heaps of women who would decide like that. That doesn't mean she can't love you.

 

I mean if as potential fathers she had sperm donors, one night stands or her bf whom she knows and loves and trusts (but who might walk out on her!), you can't really blame her for going for the bf! At least she'ld know whos eyes and nose her child has..

 

As noone can't blame you if you feel like walking out, but I guess she had to consider that.

 

Anyway, I hope you two will work things out. She's going to be mom now, I'll bet she's really happy. And if you forgave her, tried to understand that sometimes the logic might lose to the instinct, you could be really happy yourself! Get some councelling of course..

 

Congratulation on becoming a father soon!

[Anna.]

any updates?

[Rabican]

Wow... no offense but you were very stupid to go along with that. My fiance and I just had a baby boy in November, and prior to her getting pregnant we both swore we didnt want kids. It was an accident, but not one that I would change now... little man is awesome and I wouldnt give him back for anything.

 

However, she didnt lie and manipulate me into the situation, it was just something that happened.

 

If I were you, I would dump your girlfriend and tell her that you are more than willing to pay child support, and that you expect your share of either custody or visitation so that you can be a father to your child. But as far as having a relationship with someone like that... eek I dont think so.