I'm SUPER confused

[IcecreamLove]

I've only had one boyfriend before, and things didn't go very "far," mostly because I get really nervous, and I wasn't that attracted to him. So he broke up with me because I didn't put out haha.

 

But now I'm 19 and have been dating this guy from my University whose 21. He's really nice, and we mostly just watch movies haha or go out to eat, or window shop, and kiss and cuddle for the past month. But the last time I was at his house, we started making out.

 

I don't really have much experience, as I mentioned, so I feel really bad. It doesn't even feel like I'm there really. Things are just happening, and I'm so lost haha and have no idea what to do with my hands, or anything really. I try to concentrate on what he's doing and follow his lead but I tenses up, resist, or push him away. But part of me, is still enjoying it; I want things to go further, I'm just too much of a pùssy, according to my friends, who are, NOT helpful at all.

 

I'm like so afraid, I'll do something wrong, or make things awkward between us, especially at University. I don't have a lot of friends, so I don't want my life anymore difficult than it already is. And I'm starting wonder if I'm really even gay then.

 

I still have these REALLY bad nerves, I cannot shake, and I'm afraid he's going to get rid of me for the same reasons my first "boyfriend" did. Does anyone have any tips to get over the nervousness? Or any helpful words?

[Tetsuo_Shima]

Well dude leave the * * * * * to us straight guys. I'm not gay so I can't help to much but this is a universal problem. ( I apologize if that was offensive it was my poor attempt at a light hearted joke.) From what I gather your afraid because your inexperienced. Only one way to get experience bro. Give it your best shot. If you want to please him, well how would you please yourself, you got the same parts, not much difference there haha. Again sorry if I'm being a jerk. I would simply suggest talking to him about how you feel and express all you just said to him. Maybe he'll provide some help. Have fun!

[folie_a_deux]

why the * * * * are u replying on a lgbt forum then if ur straight? that's not much help

[Mavh25]

^ Does it matter?

 

I agree with Tetsuo when he says to talk to him about it, I'm fairly sure if you're honest about your lack of experience he will not be put off and will understand more why you react the way you do. It best to be honest and atleast try =)

[folie_a_deux]

hrmm. first timers are turn ons sometimes

[1WayTicket2Norway]

I'm like so afraid, I'll do something wrong, or make things awkward between us, especially at University. I don't have a lot of friends, so I don't want my life anymore difficult than it already is. And I'm starting wonder if I'm really even gay then.

 

Are you attracted to guys or not??? that's the question you should be asking your self! Sex is the most natural thing on the planet. just go with what feels good and what feels right!

[lukeb]

The only thing I can suggest is talk to him tell him what is going through your mind. You're not supposed to do anything except have a good time, whatever that is. Dont take your sex education from porno movies, and assume that this is what you are supposed to do. You need to figure out first what it is you like to do instead of trying to figure out what you think your parter likes to do. What turns you on?

[IcecreamLove]

Thanks guys. I just have a lot of anxiety.

 

The first guy I was dating, "James" was also from my University. I'm only a freshman and had English class with him. After he broke up with me, he just burned a lot of bridges and made the rest of my experience in English class, just horribly awkward. Since he was older than me, knew more people there, etc.

 

And I was nothing but polite and honest with him. He was like my first kiss, which is depressing for 19 haha, and I told him all this stuff. But as I've reasoned it in my mind, I guess I didn't really like him. That's why I pushed him away. Things just didn't feel right, but I enjoyed his company, as someone to hang out with, as much as, over time, he grew to loathe mine.

 

I'm just really afraid, and basing things off that one experience, that this could be going the same way. I guess I'll just spill my guts all over again and see how it goes.

[ad-mortem]

I agree with many of the people above, communication with your guy is essential not only to ease your nerves but to improve your performance- as well as explaining to him about how you feel, let him tell you what he enjoys, and although it'll feel awkward at first (trust me, it's the same for everyone) after a while it'll start to feel natural. Plus, how he reacts to you talking to him will help you know whether he's a keeper or not, lol

[Unusual U]

I agree with just about everything that has been said. But, just wondering, is this the only part of your life where you have such anxiety? People are different and react different ways, when you tell him how you feel and what's going on, he might acctually understand, unlike "James". If you don't tell him or try and get some help for you anxiety (whatever that may be) things won't get better.

 

-I hope this helps!