What size do you consider a BBW ?

[diabolik]

There are deeper issues within the person that causes them to be obese if they do emotional eating, some people are just genetically predisposed to such large weight no matter what they do..but in general, it's the emotional troubling underneath that they can't figure out

Absolutely agree that there psychological factors at play in obesity. And your post implies that we should deal with those factors, rather than just say "oh honey, you're big and beautiful". All this PC nonsense about not calling an obese person obese gets us further away from dealing with the underlying issues.

 

Yes, genetics means some people will be gain weight easier than others, and vice versa. But think about the obesity epidemic in the western world - did our genetics change in the last 30 years? No, what changed is diet and lifestyle. Blaming genetics is a cop-out. Again, I admit that some will have a harder time losing weight than others, but everyone (short of having major hormonal problems) can lose weight if they make it a priority.

[PsychGirly]

There is a difference between "overweight" and "obese" by the way.

 

I did read psychgirly's post.

 

I, myself, am about 15 lbs overweight, according to the BMI (body mass index) scale.

 

However, I don't feel overweight. I feel average.

 

I know I'm not skinny by any means, but I feel great in my body. I embrace my curvy figure, & I don't allow any person or scale to make me feel otherwise.

[PsychGirly]

Absolutely agree that there psychological factors at play in obesity. And your post implies that we should deal with those factors, rather than just say "oh honey, you're big and beautiful". All this PC nonsense about not calling an obese person obese gets us further away from dealing with the underlying issues.

 

Yes, genetics means some people will be gain weight easier than others, and vice versa. But think about the obesity epidemic in the western world - did our genetics change in the last 30 years? No, what changed is diet and lifestyle. Blaming genetics is a cop-out. Again, I admit that some will have a harder time losing weight than others, but everyone (short of having major hormonal problems) can lose weight if they make it a priority.

 

And if you had said ^ before, I wouldn't have called you out.

 

You just got your point accross without insulting anyone.

[Tethys]

Psychgirly, I was agreeing with you, lol.

[PsychGirly]

Psychgirly, I was agreeing with you, lol.

 

I know lol I was just elaborating on your post, that's all.

[diabolik]

Well, that's their problem. If it makes them feel comfortable to call themselves "curvy", then let it be. Why does it bother you?

It's like a smoker calling themselves a tobacco hobbyist - maybe it makes them feel better, but it also covers up the fact that they are doing something unhealthy.

 

People are beautiful, no matter what shape or size--& what matters most is how they feel about themselves, not how others feel about them.

I agree that what matters most is how one feels about themselves. But do you really think most obese women are happy with their bodies? You obviously weren't happy at 190, and so you did something about it. Who knows - maybe if you were surrounded by people who said "you're a BBW and look great, have another cookie", you might not have done the hard work to get to where you are today.

 

I don't think they use them to make themselves feel better! and talking of silly terms, don't you think "land whale" is one?!

Yes, of course it's silly. I guess it's a reaction to nonsense like SBBW.

 

Being 'in shape" and "overweight" are not the same thing.

Did I equate the two?

 

I, myself, am about 15 lbs overweight, according to the BMI (body mass index) scale.

 

However, I don't feel overweight. I feel average.

 

I know I'm not skinny by any means, but I feel great in my body. I embrace my curvy figure, & I don't allow any person or scale to make me feel otherwise.

Average in the US today = overweight. Look at how average weight has increased over the decades.

[PsychGirly]

It's like a smoker calling themselves a tobacco hobbyist - maybe it makes them feel better, but it also covers up the fact that they are doing something unhealthy.

 

 

I agree that what matters most is how one feels about themselves. But do you really think most obese women are happy with their bodies? You obviously weren't happy at 190, and so you did something about it. Who knows - maybe if you were surrounded by people who said "you're a BBW and look great, have another cookie", you might not have done the hard work to get to where you are today.

 

 

Yes, of course it's silly. I guess it's a reaction to nonsense like SBBW.

 

 

Did I equate the two?

 

 

Average in the US today = overweight. Look at how average weight has increased over the decades.[/QUOTE]

 

And along with that, people's mentalities & schemas are changing.

 

My current body type would have been considered "overweight" or "above average" decades ago, but in today's society, it's considered "average/normal".

[Tethys]

Did I equate the two?

 

I thought you were in your response to psych, but if not, then I am in the wrong.

[diabolik]

And if you had said ^ before, I wouldn't have called you out.

 

You just got your point accross without insulting anyone.

I was merely illustrating how silly the terminology has become. Seriously, 308+ lb is SBBW? That's getting close to a weight where they won't be able to function at all. Should we have a feel-good PC term for that too?

[Tethys]

Also, I do not think smoking is analogous to this conversation. The OP asked a question, and now we're talking about obesity??

[Tethys]

I was merely illustrating how silly the terminology has become. Seriously, 308+ lb is SBBW? That's getting close to a weight where they won't be able to function at all. Should we have a feel-good PC term for that too?

 

The OP said she was 5'8" and wearing a size 18. She is probably overweight but not obese.

[PsychGirly]

I was merely illustrating how silly the terminology has become. Seriously, 308+ lb is SBBW? That's getting close to a weight where they won't be able to function at all. Should we have a feel-good PC term for that too?

 

BBW means "Big Beautiful Woman".

 

If someone who is 308 lbs. is big & feels beautiful, then yes, she is a BBW.

[Tethys]

I think the problem is that diabolik changed the subject, to complain about obesity and fat people. Not cool, for this thread, at least.

[Tethys]

Yeah, where did the 308 pounds (so specific!) come from??

[Tethys]

Well.... there is inner beauty and outer beauty. Which one are we talking about again?

[Tethys]

Says you! That is a nice sentiment, though.

[Tethys]

To be honest, I do not find that to be case, but I do think it is a nice sentiment.

[diabolik]

And along with that, people's mentalities & schemas are changing.

 

My current body type would have been considered "overweight" or "above average" decades ago, but in today's society, it's considered "average/normal".

But our genetics haven't changed anywhere near as rapidly. The female figure the average guy finds optimal probably hasn't changed much in thousands of years. In some generations, a leaner look is preferred, and in some, a more buxom look is preferred, but these are minor variations relative to the spectrum of female figures we see today, from the anorexic to the "SBBW".

 

And underneath all the rhetoric and bluster, women realize that. They see that the fit girls get more than their share of the attention from men (all else, especially personalities, being equal). So society can use all the BBW-type terms it wants, and redefine "average" or "normal", but what attracts mens' eyes is relatively unchanged.

 

And since these labels count for much less in the health of a woman's psyche than knowing she draws her share of the attention of men, the labels act as sort of a band-aid. I'm in favor of ripping off the band-aid and dealing with the underlying problems.

[Tethys]

diabolik, are you talking about hip ratio?

[Tethys]

I find inner beauty the true beauty of a person, it's who they are on the inside, the outside doesn't matter.

 

Then you are rare...kudos to you.

[diabolik]

Yeah, where did the 308 pounds (so specific!) come from??

That was in response to the post that described 140kg (=308 lb) or greater as SBBW.

 

it's all beautiful, that's the f'ing point, if that person feels beautiful no matter what, she will be beautiful in my eyes

Yeah, OK.

 

diabolik, are you talking about hip ratio?

Hip ratio is just one aspect of it. Someone can be 5'6", 300lb and have a 0.7 hip ratio, but they're not going to be attractive to the average man.

[Tethys]

I don't get kg, i would have to run it through a converter.

 

My understanding is that there is a desirable hip ratio through time. No one is saying a 300lb woman is attractive to the average man. The OP is not even that weight.

[diabolik]

I find inner beauty the true beauty of a person, it's who they are on the inside, the outside doesn't matter

I agree with that inner beauty is important and outer beauty is no substitute for it.

 

But the "outside doesn't matter" sentiment is pure rubbish. Since the outside doesn't matter, if you found an effeminate gay man, who was as beautiful on the inside as any woman could hope to be, would you date/marry/have sex with him?

 

No?? What's the matter, you haven't "evolved" enough?

now, most people haven't looked past their primal instincts...

 

I would just say I have evolved further

[diabolik]

I find inner beauty the true beauty of a person, it's who they are on the inside, the outside doesn't matter

I agree with that inner beauty is important and outer beauty is no substitute for it.

 

But the "outside doesn't matter" sentiment is pure rubbish. Since the outside doesn't matter, if you found an effeminate gay man, who was as beautiful on the inside as any woman could hope to be, would you date/marry/have sex with him?

 

No?? What's the matter, you haven't "evolved" enough?

now, most people haven't looked past their primal instincts...

 

I would just say I have evolved further

[Tethys]

physical beauty is product of human evolution...back then, when brain wasn't so acquainted with the concept of love, it was just a survival mechanism, the bigger, stronger(AKA beautiful) assured the offspring will have a better chance of survival

 

now, most people haven't looked past their primal instincts...

 

I would just say I have evolved further

 

I agree -- but you are not going to turn over thousands of years in evolution in a day or even several years. But, if you have *personally* evolved beyond that, I think that is great. The rest of us are behind you.