Success

[Joshb]

also we are great people on this forum, and our EXES are the ones missing out, and they will regret and realize what they lost, there loss!

[Cnstnt Evolutn]

Welcome to the club buddy... Youre where i was and it only gets better my friend. For more motivation read my thread "Developments...NC works"

 

It gives even more support for NC and shows that it is not the end of the world that they are gone... Also, as you have discovered - so have i, that its different for the dumpee than the dumper.

 

Dumpee gets hit the hardest first - they are rejected and have to fend for themselves, at first i was crushed - but this is benficial i think...it forces you to deal with it and helps you recover more quickly because you have no other choice.

 

Dumper at first is relieved that they finally got it off their chest and its over and done with...but slowly, if NC is done, they begin to realize that life may seem empty without the other person, and emotions build...they begin to get crushed later with guilt, regret and what not.

 

Eventually, if you have had a long, loving meaningful relation with them, i fell they will regret their decision - thats not to say they will come back for sure - but they definitely regret it sooner or later...

 

just keep open minds and good things will happen...

 

btw i ALSO think success breeds success - positive emotions will produce positive effects.

[Joshb]

thanks for the welcome, and yes i have glanced through your thread as well.

 

We had a rocky relationship, lots of good and equal ammount of bad. We didnt handle or issues correctly, instead swept them under the rug till it built up, causes both of us to be messy. The end was mainly my fault. However even during the bad, i loved her unconditionally (something she probably never had , or at least on this level) was always there for her ..thick and thin, and we had many great expierences, to say the least, we were best friends. Say i did something bad or hurt her, the relationship mode would turn off and she would come to me to vent or advice, and vice versa(weird)

So i know she will realize at some point the good qualities. I think right now(could be wrong) Shes been suppressing feelings, convincing herself not taking me back was correct and the right thing. Taking the pretense of the high road as someone said. telling her ego, shes ok. As i started NC, she reacted. I know now NC is a win win situation, and somehow i do believe in this physics idea: law of attraction, you create your situations.

You ever wondered why when your moving on, they tend to contact you at the correct moment, as if they sensed it? Messes with your mind, or for some who got there ex back like the OP, she sensed a huge deal of change. So if your not moving on, and just hanging on to the idea i want her back instead of moving on, they probably sense that. Only when you really move on, do they seem to come back? strange, maybe truth to this.

[Caligirl_41]

Moving on. Thanks everyone!

[bullonparade]

Then just let go, you can't do anything else. He didn't call because he didn't want to. It's his choice and now you just accept and move on. Of course it's not easy - here is a whole website dedicated to the exact thing you are going through. Jealousy & insecurity will ruin it, so what if he goes out with a couple other women? Do you think the other girl could be better then you? Sounds to me like that is your fear, he is going to like her better. Well then your not ready to be dating him anyway because you both deserve the best, if you don't think your the best he's not going to. Don't bring it up to him, don't ask questions, act like you don't care and soon you won't care.

What I did was put myself on a "1 year no dating" rule. I was too focused on being in a relationship I forgot what it was like to enjoy being single. I'm still approaching that year so I won't committ and I am starting to enjoy myself again. I don't need anyone, I need to enjoy myself first. I go out with girls once in a while but you know what? Now they all are driving me crazy - I put in no effort. I never call, I never text, I never make plans. After they hound me for a while wanting to hang out I will say "I am doing such & such at this time, you can join me." It's not being mean, I just don't want to get sucked back in to being insecure. And it works, they are chasing me and my ex invites me to stuff all the time. Sure I get jealous wondering about other guys and as soon as I do, something pops up. As soon as I think "Hey I could have girls on the side also, she doesn't know" she gets jealous and asks. I never lie - I'm just confident. Try to find 2-3 guys to hang out with and tell yourself you're not ever going to date them. That takes the stress off but in reality - you're kind of dating. It won't feel right but to get good at anything all you have to do is do that action 10 mins a day. 30 days later you actually find out you got better at it without trying "to get better." Just go through the motions and look back after 30 days and you will see.