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This is hugely embarrassing, and not the kind of thing I feel I can discuss with anyone . . . I know this will sound really, really stupid, but I used to have a couple of explicit videos of my girlfriend on my computer. I know that's not a 'cyber' relationship, but I thought this might be the best place for this thread.


Although I deleted them, one night my buddy was round for a few beers when I still had them. I left for about half an hour or so and it wasn't until about a week later that I suddenly thought - what if he watched? I know he'll certainly have gone on the computer (it's always on and normally that's fine) but that means he could easily have had a look and forwarded that on to anyone he wanted.


I just don't know if I'm being silly but a couple of times I have felt as I have been the butt of a couple of in-jokes / comments between my friends that have made me think about this. I'm not the paranoid type at all (I'm generally pretty easy going) but I am really suspicious. I also feel terrible for abusing (accidentally or not) my girlfriend's trust - she'd be humiliated. I haven't said a word to anyone at all about this, but it's really eating me up - does anyone have any thoughts (apart from me being an idiot)? Would you confront my friend? If so, how do I ask about that without revealing what I’m asking about (my girlfriend would be humiliated if she thought I was asking him) or would you just come out with it?

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Is your friend the snoopy type? I would assume he would get on your computer to use the internet & check his email. And if the clips are buried in folders on your computer, how would he know where to find these videos that he didn't know existed?


I think it is unlikely he found them on your computer, so I probably wouldn't ask him about it.

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You SHOULD be able to check the history of the last viewed items I would think... or go to them and see when they were last played by hitting the info.

Besides, if he's your friend WHY would he do that? And why snoop? Are they the type? Because if they are why are the your friend?

I wouldn't worry about it, it's nice that you're worrying because it's of someone else but at the same time, even if that DID happen, what can you do? What is done is done (if at all!)

But especially, if they DID get out I'm sure everyone would know who it came from... and who would be pointing the finger at you anyway? Any normal person would probably think your friend was a bit weird for doing that I would hope.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi all


Thank you for taking the time to reply. I have been incredibly busy with work so my apologies for not being quicker to acknowledge this.


Firstly, as much as it's a cliche, it's actually really helpful just to get something 'off your chest' and have other people's input. The clips have long since been deleted, and the more I think about it makes me think it's probably is just paranoia. However, that said, much as the guy's my friend he isn't the most 'trustworthy' type.


My main issue is that I feel embarrassed for having such clips in the first place, and that I have definitely had the impression that there have been a few in jokes at my expense - something I've never felt before as it's not the way I am by nature. Who knows, but I suppose worrying about something won't change or undo it.


Thank you

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