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Over Four Months NC, but tomorrow will be tough..

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I haven't seen or talked to her in over four months and tomorrow is the event where she first came after me. I know it's going to be tough to go and combined with the alcohol, I'm scared I'm going to break down. I'm going to have to give my phone to a friend or something.


Back story. I had a crush on this girl that worked in my building for the longest time, and one day we ran into each other outside of work, and things just kind of took off, she pursued me hard. We had a short but very intense relationship, and looking back, probably moved way too fast for the circumstances.


I found out in the beginning that she had an ex that moved accross the country a few years before and left her behind. She apparently had seen him every once and a while over those years and had she had dated other guys in the meantime. She told me that she was tired of him interfering in her relationships and she was alone for too long and wanted to move forward. I went against my gut and continued on with our relationship. During our relationship, she would mention his name occasionally or say that he sent her an email saying he missed her. I started to pull back a little because it was becoming apparent that she wasn't over him. I resisted the urge to tell her the strong feelings I had for her.


She had bought a house in my city to be closer to work and family and she broke up with me right before she moved in. She was trying to string me along for a few weeks while she made her "decision", but I told her that wasn't fair to me and to just end it if she had her doubts. I said she knew where to find me if she changed her mind.


A few weeks later she called me at work to tell me she had been laid off and was moving accross the country to be with the ex. So I got my answer, and should have trusted my gut.


I still miss her and wonder what she's doing, but I know I still have feelings for her and couldn't handle hearing about her life. She still owns that house here, and part of me wants her to come back someday. But the other part of me wishes her happiness and hopes never to hear from her again.


Thanks to everyone for posting their stories on this board, reading other people's experiences has helped me tremendously!

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