grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 I am currently working in a job that i HATE. Its not so much the job but the people in my team... They are all nerds that sit in front of the monitor 24*7. I feel extremely lonely ever since I joined this company.... I don't have anyone to talk to.... and also this is not a job that I like a lot. Since I am not a citizen and also don't have a Green Card I got no other go other than to stay in this company atleast for the next couple of years.... Because of my frustration I am neglecting my work... I am not doing my work at all... In one day the maximum I work is may be 1 hour or 2 hours... My manager assigns me something, I will keep telling him that I will do it but will never finish it or I will tell I can't figure it out making him very surprised..... He is already wondering how I am not able to figure out even simple things... but the thing is I am not even trying... I feel so bad for being like this... but I am an emotional person and heavily ruled by my feelings. In my previous job I was considered a star (i felt good working there).. here I am a dud... I don't know why I am writing about this.... may be a rant... but advice (something I can put to use immediately) is also welcome... sigh Link to comment
thejigsup Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 If you are an illegal immigrant, you shouldn't be working at all! If you are waiting for your green card, you have to stay where you are at. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Gry, you have to pull yourself out of this. I understand how the situation at work can either be depressing or uplifting, but as you said yourself, you don't have a lot of wiggle room to make mistakes or to underperform since your visa status depends on it. Ok, you don't like the people at work, they are all nerds. Point taken. However not working enough is self sabotage. You are NOT hurting your coworkers, but you are hurting yourself. So force yourself to work the minimum hours required. Make a list at the beginning of the day what you have to do and tick things off. Do not leave until you have accomplished these things. If you have difficult even doing one thing. Reward yourself with little things whenever you have managed to accomplish one point on your list and deprive yourself of it as long as you have not accomplished your task Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 If you are an illegal immigrant, you shouldn't be working at all! If you are waiting for your green card, you have to stay where you are at. I am not an illegal immigrant. I am a legal immigrant that has completed Master's degree in one of the best schools in this country and working for one of the best software companies in the Silicon Valley. I am on H1-B visa. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 I am not an illegal immigrant. I am a legal immigrant that has completed Master's degree in one of the best schools in this country and working for one of the best software companies in the Silicon Valley. I am on H1-B visa. because we are importing smart talented people.... is it oracle... Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 Thanks a bunch penelope. However not working enough is self sabotage. You are NOT hurting your coworkers, but you are hurting yourself. Yes I totally understand this. I know I am harming myself but that's what I am doing. I feel so bad.. So force yourself to work the minimum hours required. Make a list at the beginning of the day what you have to do and tick things off. Do not leave until you have accomplished these things. Ideally that's what i LOVE to do. But I am not doing it at all. Not just work but life in general... If you visit my apartment now you will be shocked.... clothes lying all over... last time laundry was done was a month ago... mails thrown all over the apartment... i am not even worried about what bills are due.... i haven't paid my pg&e bills.......... bottom line... i am a wreck... If you have difficult even doing one thing. Reward yourself with little things whenever you have managed to accomplish one point on your list and deprive yourself of it as long as you have not accomplished your task sorry but i didn't understand this.... what do you mean "If you have difficult even doing one thing"?? Link to comment
penelope13 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 sorry but i didn't understand this.... what do you mean "If you have difficult even doing one thing"?? What I meant to say: if you have trouble forcing yourself even to tackle the first task on your to do list try to trick yourself. For example: if you like to check your emails/ ENA first thing in the morning even before doing any work try to do the following: don't allow yourself to look at your emails/ ENA until you have accomplished at least one of the tasks on your to do list. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 What I meant to say: if you have trouble forcing yourself even to tackle the first task on your to do list try to trick yourself. For example: if you like to check your emails/ ENA first thing in the morning even before doing any work try to do the following: don't allow yourself to look at your emails/ ENA until you have accomplished at least one of the tasks on your to do list. oh ok.. gotcha... i am a die hard procrastinator... how do you get things done? can you briefly explain your typical work day.. like what time you come in.. what you do.. what time you leave.. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Ideally that's what i LOVE to do. But I am not doing it at all. Not just work but life in general... If you visit my apartment now you will be shocked.... clothes lying all over... last time laundry was done was a month ago... mails thrown all over the apartment... i am not even worried about what bills are due.... i haven't paid my pg&e bills.......... bottom line... i am a wreck... Gry, why do you think you are not taking care of these things? - is it too overwhelming to have to admit that there is something going on - do you believe there is no benefit in doing these things - are you setting yourself up for failure/ trouble - do you have trouble deciding where to start taking care of these things Link to comment
penelope13 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 i am a die hard procrastinator... how do you get things done? can you briefly explain your typical work day.. like what time you come in.. what you do.. what time you leave.. I'm not sure if it would help you to learn about my typical day, since we are doing very different things (I love my position thus I work crazy long hours), but I can elaborate if you want. But these are some tricks I employ when I have difficulties motivating myself: - make a list of things to do - keep my work place very organized, I learned it motivates me more in the morning to come to a clean desk than having piles and mess expecting me - having rituals: answer all the emails in the morning, then do some paperwork, then do the practical parts, tidy up before leaving - when not motivated at all, cleaning up/ updating things works very well, since it doesn't require too much energy/ thought - tell my team/ coworkers what I am hoping to accomplish in a week, thus ensuring that I have external 'progress controls', i.e. I have to come up with plausible explanations why I haven't managed to do what I said I would do Procrastination is often a sign of some emotional problem that you are trying to avoid/ run away from. It is recommendable to try to work out what that might be. Once you know what your motivation is behind the procrastination it's easier to develop methods how to avoid it in the future Link to comment
steelcitymstro Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Why were you considered a star in your previous job? Because of your personality, work ethic or both? I'm guessing both--most of the "stars" at my job win you over with their personality and back it all up by being great workers.... As much as you seem to miss being on the top of the ladder, you don't seem to be willing to do the things to get you there. You can't start out on top. You have to win these people over with the same qualities you had at your last job. That starts with doing what your boss tells you to do (at the bare minimum) and it wouldn't help if you did a little more than that. It also wouldn't hurt to try to make friends with the computer nerds that you speak of....Maybe the reason they are so stuck to the computer monitors is that nobody has tried to befriend them. Positive changes at your job will start with you...not everybody else. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 Gry, why do you think you are not taking care of these things? - is it too overwhelming to have to admit that there is something going on - do you believe there is no benefit in doing these things - are you setting yourself up for failure/ trouble - do you have trouble deciding where to start taking care of these things yes, i believe there is no benefit or point in doing these things......... i actually don't see any point in being alive either........ Link to comment
KG Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Gry, Follow penelope's advice...it works! Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 really? why do you say its an emotional problem? is it not normal to avoid doing things that you don't like? Link to comment
MorphyGyps Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Are you depressed? Perhaps say a doctor about it? Sometimes depression causes people to neglect necessary daily tasks as you may be. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 Are you depressed? Perhaps say a doctor about it? Sometimes depression causes people to neglect necessary daily tasks as you may be. well... i am definitely feeling hopeless.......... i don't know what's the point in living...... but i know for sure that its not depression Link to comment
penelope13 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 really? why do you say its an emotional problem? is it not normal to avoid doing things that you don't like? there are lot's of things people don't like to do, but they do them anyway, because they realize the benefits of doing that - that is NORMAl and HEALTHY behavior. If you are constantly doing things that are harming you in the long run, then obviously something is stopping you from considering/ fully processing the long term effects of your actions. Fears (and as such emotional issues) are the strongest emotions and thus may override the long term planning/ evaluation of long term effects of an action capacities of your brain. Identifying those fears/ issues may therefore be instrumental to overcome them and to enable your brain to process those long term effects again. I'll give you an example: when I was younger I used to procrastinate in certain aspects of my life, while in others I had no problems whatsoever to do what needed to be done. It took me some time to figure out that I always procrastinated when I had to do something that I believed I hadn't fully mastered. I realized that I had an immense fear of not performing up to a certain standard/ expectation, thus I simply tried to avoid doing things when I thought I couldn't do them perfectly. Once I realized this fear as the cause for my procrastination, it was quite easy to do something about it: a) learn that you don't have to be perfect all the time and people will still love you b) learn the skills necessary for the task in question Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 i was considered a star in my previous job because i was shining at my work... i not only did the tasks assigned to me but went way beyond the call of duty and did lot of things that improved the efficiency... i was also very jovial and had a good personality... but the thing is that company was different... people were lively there.... they were not afraid to state their opinions... people here though are PC and so lifeless.... Link to comment
penelope13 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 but i know for sure that its not depression how do you know that? Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 I'd be pretty careful, Grymoire - losing your job in this current economic climate and with your employment status would be disastrous for you! Maybe try to focus on work, spend less time online (less time here!) and more on work, on you, on sorting things out. Find a system that works for you about organising your work, organising your life, and stick to it. I think you sound a bit depressed. I'm not sure - I know you're very very sensitive and ruled by your feelings, but please, be careful; you have a great job and live ina great place with fab opportunities, you don't want to throw these things away. Maybe think ab out going to see a doctor Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 Excellent post! Penelope I think you hit the nail on the head..... the tasks that I am avoiding are the tasks that I think I cannot do. I feel I can't do the task and so won't even try it. Its not even an issue of screwing up,,,, Its like I don't even think that I can do the task. I also feel that those tasks will be very very complex and complicated and would take days to finish it... (it might take couple of hours at the max).... I feel I CANNOT learn it either........ what's the way around then? Link to comment
penelope13 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 So gry, why don't you make a list of all the tasks/ things you are procrastinating and why you think you believe that you can't do them. (you can PM me if you would like to and if you do not want to post it here) Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 So gry, why don't you make a list of all the tasks/ things you are procrastinating and why you think you believe that you can't do them. (you can PM me if you would like to and if you do not want to post it here) sure, i will PM you. thank you for your consistent help with this. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 I'd be pretty careful, Grymoire - losing your job in this current economic climate and with your employment status would be disastrous for you! Maybe try to focus on work, spend less time online (less time here!) and more on work, on you, on sorting things out. Find a system that works for you about organising your work, organising your life, and stick to it. I think you sound a bit depressed. I'm not sure - I know you're very very sensitive and ruled by your feelings, but please, be careful; you have a great job and live ina great place with fab opportunities, you don't want to throw these things away. Maybe think ab out going to see a doctor why do you think i have a great job and live in a great place? i don't like this job at all.... and california is not that great... its not new york. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 why do you think i have a great job and live in a great place? i don't like this job at all.... and california is not that great... its not new york. You have a great job because it's well-paid and you're doing what you're trained to do, not making rent in a diner for hours at a time; and california is a great place. Sorry, I'm not feeling very motivational myself tonight. Link to comment
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