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Things We Can Do To Help Ease the Pain

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I am sitting here struggling tonight, really feeling worse off than I have in a long time, although I have been having a hard time losing my ex anyway. I am staying with my dad tonight who, sadly, doesn't understand my situation (because he's divorced and believes love is crap) and as much as I appreciate him letting me visit him, I just feel so very alone with people around me (as opposed to you guys here on this forum).


Anyway, I want to start a list of all the things we can do for ourselves (and others) when we are feeling especially weak and heart-broken. If you have ideas, would you add them to the list? Let's see if we can get a really long list because sometimes it's hard thinking of ways to cheer ourselves up and we need a variety.


I'll start:


-Buy yourself flowers and a nce vase...or a plant you can nurture from scratch and watch grow.


-Get a pet like a goldfish, kitten, rat, etc. to keep you company.


-Take a ride on an amusement park ride with a friend.


-Get a journal. Write a letter to your ex everyday, listing all the insights you are gaining, all the accomplishments you are making, and all the things you are greatful for. Pretend like you are going to give your ex this journal someday. Write your feelings, your fears, your pains, everything. If we feel like we are talking to our ex, maybe it will help us feel less lonely.


-Buy a good self-help or spiritual book. Come on here everyday and post what you are learning from it. Do it for yourself and your feelings but also to help others learn something or to at least share yourself with us.


-Join a gym. Try to make simple conversation or at least smile at people near you. If you see anyone you're interested in friendship with, pursue it. But try to stick to same sex friends unless you're really over your ex.


-Take a relative out to dinner at a new restraunt.


-Find a church. Join one of the ministries there.


-Sponser a child in Africa/South America etc. I actually did do that and it's really empowering. I write him letters, buy him gifts, etc. Makes me feel like I'm actually making a difference to this child who has so much less than I do.


-Take hot bubble baths. Buy yourself your favorite scented oil (this might be hard if you are used to taking sensual baths with your ex).


-Re-decorate your house/room. Re-arrange the furniture. Have a garage sale to get rid of extra stuff. Buy one special item for yourself.


-Take a vacation to somewhere you've never been with your ex. Make sure it's somewhere you want to go. It's better if you go soemwhere where you'll be interacting with people, I assume. Maybe sign up for workshop...like a healing/spiritual/spa retreat.


-Catch up with an old friend. Try to do something together.



Any other ideas??? PLEASE SHARE!



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Listen to the following, while dancing like you dont care whos watching and letting all your emotions explode out:


I dont need a man - the * * * * * cat dolls

Fighter - Christina Agulira

What a wonderful world - louis armstrong

i can see clearly now - johnny nash

cry me a river - justin timberlake

i will survive - gloria gaynor

single - natasha bedingfeild

burn - jessica mauboy

smile - lily allen

foundations - kate nash

independent woman - destinys child





Apply as many layers of makeup and jewellery, until you can fall over from the weight haha.


Hang in there

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Free things to do:


Make a list of qualities you want your NEW significant other to have, so that you already know who you want when you are healed!


Make a list of things about your ex that weren't so great- it helps when you remind yourself of their faults!


Volunteer at the SPCA or some other worthy organization


Hang out at the book store and check out books you wouldn't normally have been interested in


catch up on all your emails and other correspondence- especially thank you notes!

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It may be a tad irrelevant but soccer/football has helped in my healing immensely. Ever since things with my ex and I ended, I have been playing some of my best games in a long time! It's strange how it worked out, I think I just enjoyed the escape and the new sense of purpose more than anything.

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