THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[1guygirl]

day 16...

 

been reading stuff...seems ex was abit of an emotional manipulator, using deflections and saying "aw sorry, im jus clumsy" when he kept on doing the things that upset me and made me feel insecure, and then rewriting the version of events that lead up to a split, shifting blame yadda yadda

 

gunna get rid of his 'gifts' they were sooo thoughtful, one was a crystal that represented him as he shared its name on the forum we knew each from...

 

WELL ITS GOING IN THE LANDFILL....good riddence to bad rubbish no?

 

the other part of the gift was a beautiful wooden carving representing my name on forum...i will donate that as it was hand carved in Bali, where i want to take a spiritual retreat for my tired soul...i think like a charity shop for cancer?? go towards helping someone heal ? ...something positive to come out of it anyway other than a couple of hours burning on the fire...

[snoop]

USF and united kingdom dont get along...i went to USF too

[Loxxt]

TSandullo, I don't think you've ruined your chances at all! Good on you!! From what you said you sounded strong, in control of your emotions and she's the one who seems confused and dare I say possibly rejected??

 

You sound to be doing the right thing for you, the right way. So nothing to fret. She is clearly frustrated and slightly confused at how civil and indifferent you're being to her. That's where you need to be. NC and slow LC helps to heal and bring you back to the point where ur okay with the relationship whether it's gone for good or possibly might have another go. You're a prime example of how that's working. If your mentality is matching your actions then bravo mah boy!

 

No one likes feeling like they're indifferent by someone they want to think more of them. Clearly this is how she feels. Way to go, really.

[bitebenot]

And heres my opinion (as a man) When she asked you to sit by your side,my answer would of been " i rather be alone if you dont mind,thank you " ! Most men would say yes,in reverse psychology its a definite no ! She let you go and thats the price she has to pay ! Reject her at all times no matter what or how much you think you will hurt her.Let her new bf take care of that. When you see her make no conversation with her,its " hi " and keep on walking. If its about work just make it nice and very short. She needs to know that you really dont care anymore. Make her feel like you are the one whos dumping her ! No pity for her my friend,ignore her as much as you can,run away if you must. In my opinion she has access to you a bit to easely. You cant afford to let her have it her way.Rejection at this time is the key ! Dont fool yourself,she knows you still love her,thats women intuition. What she will think of the way you react aint important,its still you first. You are the one who is suffering,just dont forget that part. Gosh its simple,just ignore her !

[NsKrewtable]

Day 5 Not doing so bad today, gonna go work out for a lil' bit. That's been helping some. Almost done with week one, kind of a relief that I've made it this far and it seems to be getting easier. Hopefully I don't have any setbacks, that make me eat those words. well, on to the next day.

[1guygirl]

Day 5 Not doing so bad today, gonna go work out for a lil' bit. That's been helping some. Almost done with week one, kind of a relief that I've made it this far and it seems to be getting easier. Hopefully I don't have any setbacks, that make me eat those words. well, on to the next day.

 

yeah working out does help...them feel good chems exercise produces

 

keep up with it, a week, 2 weeks and so on...

[ex sweatheart]

Day 5 of NC ... lost count of how many times ive tried this , i think im on 4th go at it... feel yuck, actually feel ill thinking about it all.

I was fine at work , now im home packing to move and its all i can think of , have to stay NC , have to stay NC, have to stay NC.. its like a mantra or some sort of strange little prayer i keep running through my head.

Tomorrow is a new day and im positive i feel a little better , just have to keep trudging through

[1guygirl]

Day 5 of NC ... lost count of how many times ive tried this , i think im on 4th go at it... feel yuck, actually feel ill thinking about it all.

I was fine at work , now im home packing to move and its all i can think of , have to stay NC , have to stay NC, have to stay NC.. its like a mantra or some sort of strange little prayer i keep running through my head.

Tomorrow is a new day and im positive i feel a little better , just have to keep trudging through

 

yeah well most of us, including me have had multiple rounds of this NC malarky

 

you get to a point where enoughs enough, their crumbs of contact actually piss you off something rotten and it becomes a case of "whatever!!!!"

 

i wonder if the universe is gunna test me on that now that ive said it??? LOL

 

day 17...the longest ive ever managed in NC (ive been 16 days before on first split)

 

feeling positive again today, i am hoping a job will come off that will take me abroad every now and then, and i will use this money to save up and get a car and go on that trip to Bali...thats my hopes and plans...fingers crossed it will work out???

 

aching from last nights workout which i likes ...means my bootys firming up ready to cut a dash in these upcoming summer months

[ex sweatheart]

yeah well most of us, including me have had multiple rounds of this NC malarky

 

you get to a point where enoughs enough, their crumbs of contact actually piss you off something rotten and it becomes a case of "whatever!!!!"

 

i wonder if the universe is gunna test me on that now that ive said it??? LOL

 

day 17...the longest ive ever managed in NC (ive been 16 days before on first split)

 

feeling positive again today, i am hoping a job will come off that will take me abroad every now and then, and i will use this money to save up and get a car and go on that trip to Bali...thats my hopes and plans...fingers crossed it will work out???

 

aching from last nights workout which i likes ...means my bootys firming up ready to cut a dash in these upcoming summer months

 

LOL i sincerely hope i get to whatever soon !!

Keep working out and saving for Bali, its lovely there, perfect place to show off a toned and taught booty while enjoying a cocktail on the beach

Stay in the land of positive , ill meet you there soon

[1guygirl]

LOL i sincerely hope i get to whatever soon !!

Keep working out and saving for Bali, its lovely there, perfect place to show off a toned and taught booty while enjoying a cocktail on the beach

Stay in the land of positive , ill meet you there soon

 

haha yeah... and nice words there!...thank you xxx

 

jus waiting for my old car to get towed and scrapped (another change and acceptence in my life there!) and waiting for the police to show up cos ex ex has been (i suspect) phoning me dodgy phonecall (witheld number, i answer, he immediately hangs up)

[NsKrewtable]

Day 6 The ex called me today, luckily I was walking out the door and had my brother tell her I just left. Not sure what it was she wanted but it's starting to pick at me. She wants me to call her back appearantly, so should I call back and see what she wants, or keep up with NC? I don't know right now my head is spinning over all this confusing s***.

[TSandullo]

Loxxt and bitebenot

 

thank you both for your feedback, on both sides of the gender spectrum.

 

Funny enough, I went out to buy a new pair of jeans (dropped two sizes since working out and am looking damn sexayyyy.... ) and while getting changed, I jumped out of the fitting room and shouted at a random guy and gal to give me their opinion. I looked hot. They got chatting afterwards I saw....glad I could be matchmaker.....anyways, I digress.

 

Loxxt thank you for your input. As you say, my internal state is gradually becoming like my external state: better. I still have a way to go.

 

bitebenot, yes, I am slowly rejecting her on the basis that I truly no longer need her. Never did. She was a bonus in my life. My interactions with her around campus is generally short and sweet and polite before I move on in haste. However, I can not go as far as telling her to stay away as we are working together on some projects. So I keep it to that, strictly work...

However, I am slowly turning away from her (not playing games though - my internal state moves aware from 'needing' her now)...

 

...all will be mentioned in day 6....

[TSandullo]

Day 6 - Curiosity piqued...

 

Went into uni today feeling great and looking great. In fact I looked hot and felt damn cold (British weather )

 

Went to uni. Had an email from her last night about some event we are organising for our club. The x has appeared again at the end of her message. Woohoo....not. I have moved away from finding hope in such insignificant things.

 

Went into the lecture late. She was say a few rows back. I made a spectacular entrance looking vibrant sexy and damn hot as I felt (feeling a bit warmer indoors )

 

2 hour lecture with 10min break in between.

 

Lecture went on a usual. When break came, I heard my name called out behind me: It was her and her friend (a lovely young lady, mutual friend of ours). They asked how I was, I waved and said fine, turned around and chatted to a friend nearby me.

 

As me and my friend spoke, she came down with her friend and they stood in front of me. What she playing at? A femme double attack!

Things that happened:

-they giggle and talk to me, how I am etc

-She is stood directly in front of me, leaning in and fiddling with my stuff on my notebook

-She looks straight in my eyes, locked

-I kept turning away from them, to chat to my guy friends. They said "oh no, we're annoying...." I agreed/

-At some point she grabs my arm to get my attention, I casually brush off her arm. I have no need for that arm unless it is wrapped around my neck like a scarf with soft breathing apparatus to match...

-She asks me about the email she sent (always doing that now! I GOT THE BLOODY MAIL THANKS!)

-I turn to talk to my friend seated behind me and begin to draw him.

-As I have turned away, her friend giggles, complimenting me on my lost weight, I roll my eyes at them in mock annoyance

-At some point, she mentions how she saw me playing with me special pen during the lecture. I told her "You should be concentrating on the lecture, not watching me and what I'm doing..."

-I turn to continue drawing my friend behind me...it later dawns on me they are eying up my toned ass (which I later discovered looked damn great in my new jeans)

-Lecture reconvened, she pulls on my top and squeezed my arm to say bye, I ignore.

 

I don't know what she is playing at and what involvement her friend has but I don't really care. I look and feel damn good....though I must admit, it was kind of flattering having them giggle like that....some 1 ft away from me!

 

That aside, I am still maintaining NC. I have not told her anything, though I wouldn't be surprised if it got leaked that I have taken up gym in uni.

 

So, that is my day 6. I am feeling good, looking good...kind of hungry now.

 

And my ex? I have no clue. She attracted to me? No clue. Still with other guy? No clue.

Financial difficulties? Yes, but since I am not her bf anymore, none of my concern.

 

Harsh I know, but she made the choice of ending, and so when I go, EVERYTHING GOES!

 

Night everyone. My buns need a rest after workout...and modelling routine.

 

TS

[NsKrewtable]

That s*** was funny as hell.

[NsKrewtable]

After long and considerable deliberation, I've decided that I'm just going to pretend my brother forgot to tell me "to call her back". I'm really not ready to talk with her as I'm still not 100% under control yet. Maybe she'll call back, hopefully not for quite some time....like weeks possibly.

[NsKrewtable]

Damn, she called me back and I answered....back to day freaking 1. She was just seeing why I hadn't called her, supposedly concerned about me. She had not seen the e-mail I sent telling her not to contact me, so I had to drop that one on her. Which ended up with her crying and obviously distressed. Keeps saying things like "I need you in my life" and "I still love you, but not like I used to". * * * ? We ended the conversation, then immediately after she calls back even more frantically, going along the same lines as before, and adding her list of problems over the week. After which she said she was going to bring me the rest of my things and to have the rest of her things ready to be picked up Monday. I kept it together tha whole time but not sure if I handled it as best I could. How come I feel like the bad guy, even though she was the one who broke it off? If only she had seen that e-mail, I wouldn't be dealing with this right now, I don't need it. Then I have to deal with her showing up here, going to be hard pressed for that to not be awkward. Not to mention the fact that I'll be faced with more questions and setback once AGAIN. Anyways I'm rambling, but there's no one to talk to about this so deal with it yo.

[bitebenot]

How can you be so sure she didnt see that email ? I think she tested you just to see if you would answer. You missed an opportunity here. When the phone rings let it go to your messages or take a look at your caller id. She will do it again soon or letter. Ignore her totally and move on unless you are prepared to suffer a few months ! Tell yourself shes gone for good,it will help you a lot. Hope can be a b1tch sometimes. Get another chick and have the fun of your life,dont stand still waiting for an email or for the phone to ring.

[ex sweatheart]

Day 6 NC, had a horrible day, my business partner is driving me mental, very stressed and exhausted which is amplifying my already emotional state.

this sucks, getting over a relationship is not a nice process.

lost all ability to be eloquent and string together reasonable sentences

[1guygirl]

hmmmm got some stories goin on with this thread it seems...peeps looking hot with attention from ex, and others getting phonecalls from ex's, must be something in the water...!!

 

day 18 for me

 

me and mate had another virtual reality pub crawl online last night...and normally i would prob contact ex or something...as much as i wanted to last night i didnt and that in itself was a biggy for me

 

problem is on a hangover i get quite horny and ive been thinking bout him and our amazing shananigans - arghhhhhh.... im sure this will pass so am jus gunna go with this oh i love him sooooo much phase today mwah mwah mwahhhhh

 

 

[TSandullo]

Day 7 - Mixed emotions

 

It has been almost two months since our breakup.

It has been almost one month since our friendly chat about 'us' and how she was dating someone else. And since then it has been predominantly NC other than when she wanted to meet for lunch. So technically this is not really day 7, but rather somewhere in my second month…

 

Today, I have mixed feelings. I am still on the rollercoaster and not over her yet entirely.

Though I do desire reconciliation, I am trying to move away from clinging onto that hope.

I look forward to graduating so that I no longer need to deal with her on a regular basis. Today is one of those days when I am feeling a bit low though there are many things.

 

I feel the facebook stalk urge again and must fight it. I can not drop to step 1 again. I simply can not.

 

Uni went well today, I have upped my cardio in gym and upped my resistance too. Looking great.

 

Later we had a lecture. She didn’t turn up. And then my mind makes up stories: Where is she, what is she doing, with whom, is she okay? Damn it.

 

I felt a bit low in the lecture. It seems my emotional state is still linked to her actions and presence (and absence).

 

I was sitting next to her friend (girl) in the lecture who asked me if I was coming to her (the friend’s) birthday lunch. I did not know about it and I think it would be rude to decline.

 

There will be four of us: me, birthday girl, another friend of ours (male) and my ex…

 

What do you all say about me attending? It was her (my ex’s bday) 4 days after we broke up and I did not wish her anything at all until I bumped into her in the train the next day (DAMN!). That day I didn’t text, email, phone, nothing.

 

And now I have been invited to a mutual friend’s birthday.

 

I do plan to attend and keep it civil. We all have a lecture after that.

 

Anyways, that is about tomorrow. Back to today:

 

Later after lunch, I went back to campus and walked around, she came out in front of me through a set of double doors with a friend of ours and she walked passed me smiling, saying hi. She didn’t stop. I guess I would have done the same.

 

She looked happy. I felt down. I don’t understand myself sometimes: when she is sad, I feel sad, when she is happy (at this point in time- without me) I feel sad. Damn it again.

 

Perhaps she is playing games, I don’t know. Whatever the case, I have to make my emotional state independent of her actions. This will still take time.

 

TS

[bitebenot]

Forget the birthday lunch ! Seems that you always find a good reason to be by her side. What are you a masochist ? Be prepared to relive the inquisition. Its imperative that you stay away from her as much as possible. She moved on,do the same. Tell yourself she will never go back to you. Find another gf and start fresh and have your own children. You know shes not for you,be honest here. If she does come back to you, how will you really feel ? Could you forget her past with the other one ? You will be tense because she could leave you again or go back to her rebound bf. Your best medecine is to find another girl and let her know. Shes enjoying every moment of it and wont stop till you had enough of her bs. Get your pride back and tell her to buzz off. Dont be afraid to be rude because shes manipulative in her own way. Many beautiful women on the campus,use your manhood and go to the chase. Date one of her close friends and see how she reacts,you could be very surprise of the results ! Its not about vengeance but a litle payback is long overdue. You can also do it your own way and sink like the Titanic did. Im double your age,been there done that. I know women of that type,they are worthless. Sorry if im rude,but you need a good kick in the behind for you to wake up !

[bitebenot]

hmmmm got some stories goin on with this thread it seems...peeps looking hot with attention from ex, and others getting phonecalls from ex's, must be something in the water...!!

 

day 18 for me

 

me and mate had another virtual reality pub crawl online last night...and normally i would prob contact ex or something...as much as i wanted to last night i didnt and that in itself was a biggy for me

 

problem is on a hangover i get quite horny and ive been thinking bout him and our amazing shananigans - arghhhhhh.... im sure this will pass so am jus gunna go with this oh i love him sooooo much phase today mwah mwah mwahhhhh

 

 

 

Your post really made me laugh,what a riot !

[WhatSetsUs]

So its three days til the 30 day mark, and today is actually the worst I've felt in over a week. Last night I had a dream my ex...we were together in my dream and it was so vivid. I woke up feeling awful and ended up falling back to sleep. I ended up oversleeping and missing my first class. Needless to say, the morning pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day. So I've been feeling pretty down all day.

 

Today, I'm really missing my ex. And to be honest, I'm starting to get really antsy about the situation. Its been 39 days since we've been broken up and over that time I've talked to my ex one time. Just once. And today it just hurts. I know that I've come a long way in terms of growth and maturation, but it still hasnt made the longing for my ex any less. I still love her the same way and I still want her back. I'm still planning to take my time with the situation but I dont know how much longer I will be able to hold my silence. I feel like its on me to initiate in this situation. The best things in life take some work, and I'm willing to work a lot for this.

[1guygirl]

Your post really made me laugh,what a riot !

 

 

 

glad ya likes

[bitebenot]

On feb 20 you said you wouldnt talk to her unless she does first. Why are you changing your mind ? If you do call her be ready to be hurt and deeply. You wont get anything out of her.I mean nothing at all ! Shes the one who has to be chasing you.(if she ever does lets face it). Be patient and wait. While waiting you will be healing and she might be missing you. Right now you would be taking all the wrong decisions. Dont forget,take her back quickly and it wont last ! She dumped you,its up to her to communicate. How long are you willing to stand still ? Hows the pain ? ...can you suffer like this for another 6 months ? Move on,get out and have fun ! Get over her,you have to ! If she comes back good for you...if not you will survive and probably find better.