What would YOU write?

[Jaybake]

I am meeting with my ex soon to finalize a few things. And I realize that letters can be tacky... but it includes all of my emotions. And also, what would you say if you were giving/sending your ex the "final" letter. Here's mine:

 

Jason,

 

I have been thinking A LOT lately and I have been reminiscing about these past couple years and there are some things I wish never happened:

 

- like being really clingy and dragging you everywhere so I was never alone

- letting my insecurities affect my behavior towards you

- not supporting your ambitions and dreams like I am sure most girlfriends do

 

However when thinking about this more... even though these past couple years have been tough, if I had to do it again... I would do it again the exact same way. I realize that that sounds a little selfish, but I think that because of this it had made me and made you stronger.

 

So I'm admitting that I am not perfect and I now know how I am going to approach any future relationships. And for the time being I feel that for the good of both of us we should have very limited contact. I realize that I am letting my best friend go... but I've come to learn that I'm not strong enough to be just "friends" with you at this moment... and not being friends I think will allow a smoother transition in moving on.

 

I don't know how this letter makes me sound but I have to let you know all of this if I am going to let you go. Please don't let this letter offend you or make you angry at me. It wasn't my intention.

 

Goodbye for now.

 

(I know my grammar isn't that good... and there is a bit of a history to this letter... but yeah. There it is. It is totally corny and dramatic... I still don't know if its a good idea to give to him. Maybe I should just verbalize it?)

[MyheartorHis]

I wrote probably a hundred letters to one of my past exes. I didn't give him one. I just stopped contact. It made things a hundred times easier. Writing to get it off my chest helped, but I am SO glad I didn't give him any. If I had, I would've waiting for any kind of response...

 

I would've hung on for whatever reason. I am not sure if you would be the same way, but if you think you might- don't give it to him.

 

Just my two cents.

[Tru80]

Thanks for that advice about letters full stop Myheartorhis... I think it is wise to write things down and get them off your chest but then just rip them up or burn them... sending them only does make you want to know what they thought.

[InRecovery]

I made the mistake of sending an ex a letter as soon as we had an argument after we broke up ... big mistake, didn't solve anything and in essence it was just an attempt to win them back.

 

I've probably written 100 letters since things started going wrong ... it helps ... but I think there's always a part of the letter which is designed at making her realise she's wrong and has made the wrong decision. So I've stopped writing for a bit to help with the acceptance that its over.

 

Its a nice tool, but eventually even the writing becomes a form of attachment and provides an unrealistic hope.

 

So now I just send letters to myself and write to myself, give me back some power.