i hope this truly makes sense to someone

[saku]

i haven't posted in awhile but i'm gonna say this first before i say what's wrong. (actually this is also part of the problem)

 

i do alot to help myself. i go to college and i try to work. basically i am trying really hard to have a purpose in my life. but you know what/ it's all in vain. nobody cares about me and i say this because it's true. when i see other guys my age, they get accepted. some of them are duece bags but they get acceptance no less. i try to be sincere and considerate but that means nothing to people. i am so sick and tired of getting hurt all the time while i watch jerks and thugs get all the good stuff in life. but as much as i'm sick of my life, the one thing i'm sick of more than anything is people giving me vague advice and solutions as if they know how the hell i feel.

 

first off, i appreciate a person's help, but everyone from my family to my therapist cannot seem to get what i'm saying. all they tell me to do is "just change" or "just do it" and honestly i think that's a load of pure crap. it would be different if i wasn't trying to "change" or "just do it" but i am and have been for along time. the problem is is that evrything i do is in vain.

 

i was brought up to believe in God and right now in my life, i am very angry at God. i don't expect him to give me a perfect life, but i was led to believe he's there for people when they're hurting and he basically helps them especially if they're putting forth the effort like i AM. but he doesn't care either. what no one realizes is just because they might not have a hard time dealing with the problems i have doesn't mean they're easy to get through. they think i choose to be lonely or i like to be called names. well that's not true. i would trade all the money in the world to find love and happiness but since i'm not God or don't posses powers, there's only so much i can do.

 

i know i'm rambling right now and i'm typing too much and i'm sorry. it's just that i'm really upset and tired of living in vain. some people don't do anyhitng with their lives, but i try to do as much as possible. sometimes i have a hard time being social and all but i still try to make an effort. i don't understand why nothing good happens to me. i'm just sick of living period. i'm sorry if all this sounds stupid but i hope at least one person can understand what i'm trying to say

 

bye for now

[jayne]

I know it seems hard to see right now, but God does love you and He has a great plan for your life....but you have to stop looking at the worldly things and start looking toward Him.

 

Read The Purpose Driven Life...trust me, it will change your life forever!

 

I will say some prayers for you. You sound like an honest person who has a heart of gold!

[leanmean16]

i know you'll hate me saying this lol, but I truly know how you feel.

 

all my life ive fallen between the Kliq's at Work and when i was younger at high school. I was religious and 2 years ago I had enough of God who had never helped me out despite me being a regular church-goer etc and losers and thugs got the girls, the friends, the respect, but i didnt get anything.

 

You dont need to change who you are, you just need to find your place in life, I found mine when I left High School and went to college where there was a wide diversity of personalities and people have accepted me, I even have a girlfriend now, something i never thought would happen

 

You may not be happy where you are right now, but you just need to find somewhere where you can be relaxed and where people accept you for who you are. I used to be considered a loner and was called every name under the sun, now I have friends to spend time with and i give as good as i get name-wise lol

 

While college was my place of acceptance, you just have to find yours. Its possible it wont happen till later in life, but when it does happen, its worth it. You could try joining some kind of group/club to meet new people with similar interests.

 

I hope this made some sense and wasnt too vauge and, im not saying abandoning religion is the key to sorting out your life, because its not, its just something I did which i felt has actually helped me grow as a person (that may sound weird, but its true lol) because i dont have "religious constraints" which were a problem in the past.

 

Saku, You'll find your ideal place in life sooner or later, just have faith.

[Suavemantotherescue]

Well to say that I can relate to what your saying would be a total lie. Theres nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I can try and help make it better for you to understand whats going on in your life. First of all, you go and blam your god on your life. There are people in this world who have even worse of a situation than you and still blam no one. To say that you are going through hard times in your life is probably an understatement but blaming other people won't help. The best thing you can do to help yourself is find the root to your probablem. The reason thugs get more attention, friends, and girls than other people is because they probably play sports and/or are involved in more extracraicular activities, or just because they use their personalities and reveal how they feel and party and stuff like that and do what other people say is cool. However, these people usually are unfocused on their future and will usually have unsuccessful lives. I'm not saying this to make you feel better though it woundn't bother me if it did, I'm just saying you can't compair your life to theirs. If you wish to become more sociable and have more friends, you basically have to be yourself. This may be hard for you since you may have spent most your life being ridiculed and are afraid of revealing your true self because your afraid of that happening again, but you are ridiculed because you may amit a weak aura to others. You can change that by showing no fear when you see someone you hate and say 'whats up' to them. This will sting you alot but if you show no fear, they can't hurt you. If they try to make fun of you, ignor them with confidence and walk off. Try to be more involved in College activities such as dances and other social gatherings. Offer to help in any volintary campus project your school offers and help with communitty service.

When others see your willing to help, they will pay you more respect. Finally, be yourself and try to be charming around girls if you want a GF. Just being funny and your true self and they'll see your a good person. The only people who care about how you look are shallow preps, which you don't need to get involved with. If your confidence come from your lools, however, you caan work out and exercise to improve your image. Remember, you can't blam others, especially your god, for life probablems. I hope that helps. Good luck.

[mahlina]

Hi saku,

 

I know just how you feel. It's like now that you've grown up, everything that you've been acqainted to, was such a bold face lie! There's so much hypocracy in this world, and the only thing that concerns the world today is short-term happiness, money, greed, and glut.

 

What I miss growing up is the values taught back then. You can see it through the media nowadays. Like all of those reality shows teaching self-imposed attitudes. That's the type of attitude that we praise now? At least in the U.S. You have all of these weird, wacked out shows like Paradise Island, teaching about 'survival of the fittest, who can step on others the most, and get away with it"...It angers me too!

 

Whatever happened to quality t.v. such as shows teaching about family, togetherness, friendships (i.e.-Three's Company, Perfect Strangers, The Wonder Years, Small Wonder)...The controllers of the media are run by rich people, who only want us to know what they want us to know, and to keep us oblivious as to what's truly going on in the real world. They just try propogate a materialistic lifestyle, to keep us ignorant so that we don't question, so that we behave like obedient consumers!

 

You have shows like 'the Real World', sure it's entertaining, but seriously, if it's the Real World, then I don't think that people should be sitting around beaatching about life/each other all day. Reality is, we have to struggle to survive. Reality is that people don't have it that easy. They don't have all of that time to complain and rant about their little stupid drama. There are people dying out there for God's sake, why don't they just film a person's life in Africa, someone who's struggling with aids.

 

What are we gonna do? Let all fo those poor people die off while we just sit here and buy our S.U.V.s and pollute the environment???! Kill more people so that we can fill up on the gas guzzlers???!!! Arggh...hehe, I'm so mad when I think about how we have it so lucky, yet people still try to be all greedy. I don't get how people can order for a whole nation to go through suffrage by killing innocent children/mothers, and families. Talk about vain!

 

It angers me so much, and it just doesn't seem like the world cares enough to do something about it. And if we do care, we don't have enought money to do so.

 

I'm sorry, I just felt like letting that out. But I do know what you mean by people being vain. I hope that you're not losing faith in God. Whatever you were taught when you were young, doesn't have to be the almighty truth. In other words, the God that you were taught when you were young, doesn't have to be the same God that you believed in. God exists in other forms, such as in each other people. Different people have their own beliefs in God, but whatever their God is, just know that God is that faith that manifests in you. It's that goodness that you have within yourself. Carry it onto others, so that you can serve as an example of how the people in this world should treat each other.

 

Although you may feel sad right now, try to hold on and have faith. Growing up is truly confusing, but try not to lose yourself. Once you to make sense of things, and undersand who you are, and what you believe in, you'll find that peace of mind again. Best wishes. I'm in the same boat. Good Luck & Take care!