extremely shy

[Youth]

I am toooo shy! I can't help but think that people are better then me, even if they are not. I can't even talk properly when I have to talk to anyone, I don't have real friends who I can hang out with over the weekends, I never had a boyfriend, never kissed, never even been hugged, nothing! I feel like such a freak and I don't know why I'm like that. It's not like I'm ugly or anything. Some girls who are very ugly are popular! And yea I know it's their self-confidence and stuff, but I don't have it and I cant have it. Everyone says that you're just supposed to think that you're better then everyone else, but guess what, it doesn't work that way. Anyone tell me if you have ever been in my situation, and if you ever got over it, or almost got over it. I just can't stand being like this anymore, but I can't help myself.

 

Oh, and if I talk to guys, I just lose my speech! I cant just say "what" AND THAT'S IT

[Beec]

Youth,

 

You seem to have a lot to work on. Where to start is a big question. If you want friends and a boyfriend, you need to learn to talk to someone. I could suggest a bunch of books, and would be happy to. But I think the firs tthing you need to learn to do is just say "hi" to someone, then walk away or apst them. Pick a person you will never see again, walking toward you down the street, make eye contact and just mouth the word, smile when you do it. You'll see how easy people want to respond.

[Drumson]

Hi Youth,

I agree with Beec. Essentially what you have to do is start to learn how to talk to people. As he said all you need to do is start with a simple "hi". Once you learn how to say hi to people, you can start to expand on your conversations. For example "Hello, how are you doing." Thats always a very easy something to say to anyone just to get you started in almost any situation. Another thing I would like to point out that I am sure you already know is that you have to raise your self-confidence. Without self-confidence, it will be very hard just to walk up to someone and say hello because of the fear that you feel you are going to mess up or they are better than you. Try to work on those basic social techniques and try to feel alittle better about yourself. I hope that helps you and good luck.

 

-Drumson

[Emotional]

i have that SAME problem hehe..i suck at conversation..like ill walk with a guy from my class and we will just all together just shut up and walk diff dierection!! whats up with that??..i dont know its like we both get quiet hah..its kinda funny situation but its not right! i want to be ableto be interesting! lemme know if u get ne good advice

[Beec]

Emotional, it soudns like you are in a differeent boat, like you stop talking when you are right next to the guy. You get the conversation started, it just stops to quickly.

 

First, if you want to be interesting, you have to have interests. Things you like that other people might, but which they do not know as well as you. Develop some. If you have to pick something to develop, pick something known to others but not known well. Say you are a movie fan, pick a director or actor or genre and watch it and read about it, and suddenyl whenever the topic comes up, you are the one who knows and sounds smart.

 

However, also realize that the interesting conversationalists are really the ones who know how to listen. Work on your listening, but also work on getting the other person to talk. Ask questions. Say, I knew you were the buff on old horror movies. If it is an interest you love, all I would have to do to get you talking is ask about them. But how do I sound smart and get you talking, I learn a little bit about them myself and know how to ask better questions.

 

If you want to talk to him, find out about his interests, then steer teh conversation that way, ask some smart questions and you are off.

[shyguy69]

just think it out yo...its like this...we are all humans and imagine if u were her ..just a guy talking to you

[m3636]

I'm exactly the same way. I am so shy. When i walk up to people i dont know, i stutter when i talk to them and i worry about the stupidist things like where my hands should be when i walk. My friends don't help out much either because we only hang out with each other and usually not many other people. Over the past year i have made huge improvements though. I learned that the key to overcoming shyness is to put yourself in positions where you are shy. For example start answering questions in class or next time your doing a group project volunteer to present. Don't avoid going to places where there are a lot of people. Im still shy but i have improved a lot.

 

Good Luck

[reeses]

listen, all i can tell you is being too shy messed up a lot of things for me and i really regret it... i advise you to just sort of... get over it. try as hard as you can. im lucky i had some good friends, who in the end were threatening to hurt me if i didnt approach the guy i liked, and we're dating now

[Sam the ferret man]

My nan speaks a heap so I practice on her and if I don't have anything to say I look at a random thing in the room and say where did you get that or that looks nice don't you wreckon? It works great!