Finding it so difficult..

[livethedream]

I finished seeing a girl i fell for in a big way over a month ago now, and i'm just not in the best place at the moment..

 

 

I know that obviously time is a healer, and i've been through a bad break up before and it took me so long to get over it, i know the process, the aches and pains of it all.. But right now i'm at a loss, i'm in my first year at university, and had been seeing a girl who started off as my best mate, we started sleeping together and just being an item but without the label of being in a relationship. It was all amazing, and i really fell for her in a big way, there was always a problem though, she wasn't over her ex boyfriend, it's been over a year now since they broke up, but it hit her hard, she had a big plan to go travelling with him and he broke off their relationship just before they were supposed to be going travelling as he had found someone else and been cheating on her and so he went travelling on their same plan but with this different girl.

 

So yeh he messed her up a bit, and it leaves me thinking how much better it would have been had i waited for her to be over her ex boyfriend and then we hooked up, but obviously you can't plan these things or help your feelings.

 

So things broke off over a month ago now, we came back to uni after our christmas vacation where i went to see her and things were all so good, and from then it just wasn't the same,

 

I know now a month and a bit after that she doesn't want to be with me and thats hard to take, but i need to move on

 

This is where the problem lies, we are both part of the same close friendship group, and live in the same building as each other at uni, i see her everyday and i ofcourse have to be civil, but still find myself chasing her, I obviously still have alot of feelings for her, that are stronger than i first though, but eventually want us to going back to being best friends, but i need to get over her first, but not sure how i can when i see her everyday , no contact is obviously not possible and moving out and away is not possible either.. but i want to get over her and move on but am just finding it so hard with all this contact with her, it can't be limited really either as we all eat together and socialise together.. and moving out is not an option, i want to go back to how it was before and know that is a big ask as feelings are involved, but most of all i want to get over her and get back to being my normal self as right now i just feel like i'm down all the time and even tell her how i'm feeling as she sees me as one of her best mates and it's just such a difficult situation right now.. i find myself asking how and when will this all get better?...

[nottingham28]

I know how your feeling and it hurts alot, i would say that no contact would be the best way to get through it, but as you said thats not possible

 

Maybe you just need to get on with it as best as you can , have a smile on your face and try to put other things at the front of your mind, no matter how difficult it is, she doesn't want to be with you, and is still wanting over her ex, and if you keep on talking to her about how bad you feel it's just going to put her off you, it's so hard trying to go back to being friends with someone you have feelings for but it can be done.. its just going to take time and be a serious test of your mental strength, whatever happens, don't let it ruin your time at university, you will alway regret that..

[livethedream]

Thanks for that, but how can i move on when i see her everyday, and i keep on trying to speak to her and find out what she's doing the whole time, when i know deep down all we are going to be is friends, i just feel like i'm going round in circles with this situation..

[nottingham28]

Your pining over somebody who doesn't want to be with you, so u have to move on from that, however hard it may be, life is often unfair and you may well feel like she is the one at the moment, and not have a bad thing to say about her, but she's not ready for a relationship full stop.. as she still has these thoughts in the back of her head, as far as going back to being friends with her, take one step at a time, you'll get there...

[livethedream]

Now she has moved on to getting with someone else in the same hall as me here, and he is one of my friends here, and seeing that and hearing things about that makes it all the more difficult.. where do i go from here?..