Can i have some opinions and advice please?

[flora281]

I'll to be as brief as possible. I'm a 21 year old female and i have 21 year old gay guy friend. We met in college when we were 19. I had developed a crush on him and did not know he was gay until 2 months into our friendship. So i was just like okay i can't like him like that anymore. But i didn't understand why he always stared at me, got nervous around me, basically the way a straight guy acts around a girl he really likes. Anyway, we became very very close friends. He went away for a semester to study abroad and we emailed each other back and forth almost every single week. We missed each other very much and when he came back, we hung out with each other a lot! Well while he was a way i still had developed feelings for him eventhough I knew he was gay. I wrote him a letter explaining all of that and i told him that i'm not expecting him to feel that way about me b/c obviously he's gay. So i told him that i really appreciate how good of a friend he's been to me. He told me it was okay and that we can still be friends and i should never be scared to talk to him. Well ever since that, i know we are friends, but he gives me the impression that he has somekind of attraction to me. He ended up being my first kiss as well. I had spent the weekend at his apt and i was leaving and i was just like gimmie kiss. He always kisses me anyway, on the cheek or forehead or the corner of my mouth, but that time, he kissed me full on the lips. And it wasn't just a regular," ur my friend, have a goodnight peck on the lips. It was he stared into my eyes moved down closely to my face stared at me for two seconds then kissed me for about 10 seconds. Yes and i was counting, there was no tongue involved, but it was so gentle. Anyway since that, he treats me very different than his other friends. When he has friends over when i'm there, he always ask me if i'm okay and if i need anything and worries if i'm uncomfortable when they are around. He still always stares at me, and seriously he gazes into my eyes when im talking to him and never breaks eye contact. he still gets nervous around me when we first meet, and two days ago we almost started kissing outside the bookstore. but i got nervous and i moved so he kissed the front part of my cheek. He holds on to me really tight when we hug, and everytime he kisses ME, he does it sensually. I know this b/c i watch his behavior towards his other female friends. I've never really had a boyfriend not b/c i'm insecure or anything. i've had a lot of crushes on other guys before, but being that its a college campus most of them get drunk all the time and need sex in an relationship and im waiting till im married. plus i'm focused on school. I have other guy friends and one other gay guy friend. I can tell when someone is just being a friend and when it might be a little more. I honestly don't know what to do or think anymore and it's really confusing b/c regardless of what he is, he is this person that i feel something coming from, and b/c he's "gay" i don't know what to think.

[greeneyes]

I think it's possible that maybe he isn't so sure himself. He could be very confused about his feelings and might be testing the waters with you. Have you ever talked with him about his gay? Like maybe how old he was when he realized it? Maybe he isn't really sure. It sounds like you've stirred up something in him. How long has the "kissing" been going on? Is he interested in or dating any guys?

[flora281]

the girlfriend he had was when he was a freshman in college and she broke up with him b/c he wouldn't have sex with her. he's been openly gay for about 3 years. He's had two boyfriends. the last one he's still friends with but they aren't dating anymore. He said he doesnt want a relationship right now b/c he's not good in them b/c he feels suffocated. I told him maybe it's cuz he has found the right person yet and that he's still learning. He only kisses me when i arrive to his place or when i'm leaving, but sometimes when we are making eye contact when talking to each other, after one of us is done talking, he'll just end up staring at me then i look back at him and it's like he really wants to kiss me for real, then i get nervous and just turn away, act like i have to do something, or i just start talking again. It sucks cuz i keep telling myself, he's just a friend, he's just a friend, but then i really do still like him sometimes b/c of what happens between us when we are together. I've Never come on to him, and he didn't know that i liked him like that. i don't want to ask him about his behavior towards me b/c i don't think it's the right time for it and i think he's very shy and confused about it. so i'm just being myself and see what happens in the long run.