brillyfresh Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 currently i'm at day 6 of no contact ... tell you what, these have both been tough days, and very self-fulfilling days .. since sunday, when i first found this forum, i have systematically repaired the parts of my life that i had neglected for a long time, and one by one i am fixing them all ... she is the biggest negligence that is on my list of things to fix, even though that might be only one that i can't fix (i really hope i can, and be with her again) ... but here's a new problem that i think you will have good advice for: today i needed to attend to some matters on my college campus, and while i was on lunch break, i saw her ... she was waiting in line for a sandwhich, her back turned ... i don't know if she had already seen me and was keeping her back turned intentionally or not ... anyway, i finished my meal while she was still in line and walked to do the rest of my errands .... directly in her line of sight ... i'm not sure if that was a good idea or not now, but i was thinking that that would make her curious anyway, i know i'm gonna see her tomorrow ... thursday night is fun at the bar (50 cent beer night), and i know she will be there ... i'm not going specifically to see her, but i know i will see her and she'll see me, it's inevitable ... while i'm there i'm gonna try to have my own fun, and the only contact i'll have with her is whatever she initiates ... it will be day 7 for me (the last time i saw her and talked to her was last thursday at the same place, although that time, earlier in the night, i gave her a farewell letter of sorts) it is the only bar i like to frequent, and only on certain days ... thursday is one of those days ... do you think this is a good idea? what should i do? Link to comment
davew Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 I think you have to ask yourself what are your goals? does going to this bar serve these goals or hinder them? and are you really ready to do this this to yourself? If you have made the commitment to yourself to fix your life, and no contact is a part of that commitment, does going there help support you in moving forward? Or are you just going to test her...to see what she does? if this is the case, we all know she will fail the test. Even if she gets drunk and goes home with you...will this be the solution to your relationship problems? the fix you need?? good luck dw Link to comment
OK1 Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 i wouldn't go to the bar... Use that thursday for sortin out somethings, maybey go to a movie and enjoy a quiet dinner, but I wouldn't show my face at that bar this early in the "no contact" face... I would wait atleas two weeks more taht way you can be sure taht you are not their to test her like you probably would do if you go... (consciously or sub-consciously) Hope everything works out OK1 Link to comment
brillyfresh Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 i'm not exactly sure if my intentions include testing her ... maybe subconsciously if anything .... i think more that they are a test for me ... since i have made it this far, i can best see first hand my progress if i put it to a test, to see if can handle it the right way ... is that the right thing for me to do at this point though? wow .. talk about coincidence .. she just called, but it was about getting the rest of her belongings, which are still at my place ... i was expecting that call at any time, but i don't know if that was the purpose of her call or not ... she asked how i was doing, and i might've said too much about my recent improvements, but she seemed excited to hear about it ... and i didn't forget to ask her about herself ... she said "it's nice to talk to you" and i returned it so i guess being at campus today, and her seeing me, got her curious ... or at least enough to call about getting the rest of her stuff ... personally, i'd rather that her stuff wasn't part of the conversation, cuz i think it gave her a neutral reason to call me ... like is that her reason to call, or her "excuse" to call? ... and i wonder if was sincerely pleased to talk to me, or if she was just being superficial about it ... girls are so hard to read anyway, she suggested sunday to pick up her things, and i agreed, so now i know that seeing her will be inevitable, whether i go to the bar tomorrow or not ... should i have agreed or not? or should i be "hard to reach/find" in the following days (continuing "no contact"), including sunday? this also means that going to the bar might not be a bad idea, considering that a glance of me today got her curious enough that she called, although she had a prior reason to contact me before is this a good thing that she called? or am i just getting my hopes up? Link to comment
OK1 Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 seems that willingly or unwillingy you have started step 2 of the "no contact" rule... make sure you keep reading it to refresh your mind!!!! Now it may be too early though and after the week if things seem to be getting a little uneasy why dont you try falling back to the no contact phase??? Anyway I would recomend asking and Admin or a moderator they would probably give you better advice.... Good Luck, OK1 Link to comment
brillyfresh Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 and oh yeah, i noticed that this topic got moved to the healing forum ... i posted it in the getting back together forum, cuz i'm trying to get back together Link to comment
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