imsuperman Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Does anyone else feel it's wrong to talk to girls at the gym? I've put on a lot of mass in the last year or so, and I've noticed more girls checking me out while I lift. The one this morning was GORGEOUS. However she was stretching then on the elliptical and I just didn't want to interrupt. I would feel like a tool for coming up to her during her workout. I mean I'm tall, wearing a sleeveless shirt, I would just feel like a jerk, lol. I can't bring myself to do it. And I'm not the kind of guy that yells or grunts or drops weights or anything. I don't draw attention to myself. What do you all think about this? Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I don't bother to do it. People are there to work out, beside all probably don't look my best when all stripped down with bulging muscles and dripping sweat and all that. wait a minute... Link to comment
Up and Down Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I don't really talk to girls I don't know at the gym...however since I have worked out there for a while, over time I have become friends with some just because we are in the same place at the same time over a long period of time. Women tend to be pretty guarded in the gym, most are quite aware of when they are getting hit on. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 The gym is not a good place, in my opinion. Personally, I feel vulnerable at the gym. I'm sweating, getting some stress out, and not looking good at all. And, the cliche of hitting on women at the gym is a little annoying for some women. You can try but only if they are looking at you. Perhaps try to time it so you can encounter women outside of the gym. Try and leave at the same time and strike up a conversation? Link to comment
cafecomleite Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 some women go to the gym HOPING they'll get hit on. If they're showing a lot of interest, I don't see the problem with starting some lighthearted conversation/building comfort. You don't have to hit on her right away. Link to comment
alannah82 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I personally think it really depends on the situation. I would get really irritated if I was on an ellipical and some guy would come up to talk to me. However if you see her checking you out or something and you see her doing a machine or something you could crack a joke.. be careful what you say ofcourse because there are too many things loose in a gym that can be thrown. Just feel it out. If she isnt making eye contact then dont bother her AT ALL. Keep in mind though if you do end up going out with her and it doesnt work out then you have to try to find a new gym or just be uncomfortable in that one. I really dont think it would be completely out of line. There might be dating rules about that, that I dont know about though. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I've had guys asking for my mumber at the gym and I'm always flattered. The last guy looked about 16 though so I said no!! Link to comment
Laura11111 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 When I was in a relationship, I always got really annoyed when men talked to me at the gym. Then, when I was single, I decided that the gym would be a great place to meet someone. So, give it a shot. If she's not interested in talking, you'll know. Good luck Link to comment
hers Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I joined a primarily gay gym b/c I don't want guys coming up to me hitting on me while I'm all nasty and sweaty. I watch guys working out not to check them out but to see how they're working the machines since I don't know thow to work them all. Just sayin. Link to comment
Clarity Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 I don't know if it's a great place for a cold approach, but if you go regularly, like I do, you get to know people, their names, become friends. I think at that point it's a lot easier to tell if they'd be susceptible to something more. Also, my gym has a women's only section, so you know that the women who are out in the general area do not have a male-phobia Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 I don't think it's wrong to talk to girls at the gym. I've got a friend who met his girlfriend at the gym! Link to comment
waveseer Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 I think it's okay to be friendly with people at the gym, just like everywhere else. One thing though, when I go I am primarily there to work out and I'm usually on a tight schedule. If I stop to talk to anyone, male or female, for too long then my workout will suffer. Just stopping lowers my heartrate and diminishes my workout (I am not coordinated enough to continue working out while I talk). Asking to continue the conversation later over coffee or something would be fine though even if it was just a friendly gesture. The other thing to be careful about is causing any interaction that may lead to one or both people being uncomfortable at their own gym. That would suck. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Another addition: It's annoying when girls wearing headphones are checking you out. "Yes, I like the way you look." "No, I don't want to talk to you." Link to comment
agatha Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Another addition: It's annoying when girls wearing headphones are checking you out. "Yes, I like the way you look." "No, I don't want to talk to you." few women will admit it, but one of the best parts of actually going to a gym is that you get a chance to look at those 'oh so hot' men, not feel (too) guilty about it and still get out a few pounds lighter in the end of the month. reason why earphones are so useful ^^ . but not all of them are so closed to interaction. hints: smile at them when they look at you - even if they immediately look away. try to not make it a dorky smile of 'yeah, don't I look great?', but rather a 'thanks for the compliment' one. smile to all of them, so you won't be tagged as the 'flirting a**' - yeah, girls do talk when they're changing. those open to an approach, will probably smile back at you at some point - but don't go for her just yet. keep an eye on exercises breaks - people are always making them to refill water bottles, just take a breath or switch to another equipment. take one of those breaches and make some kind of comment on her workout series - nothing personal too soon, just something general about working out. you will probably have just a minute or two to strike a good conversation or to get a chance of inviting her to a deeper discussion on work-out matters, so be ready to make it flow. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I think you could just smile and say hi. As long as you don't do it to EVERY girl in there you won't come off co cky or like a guy who tries to flirt with everyone. I used to think this guy at the gym was sooo cute. We even spoke once but other then that he never approachd me and I didn't dare to either b/c *I* felt like a tool trying to flirt with him. Gym's are very tricky to pick up people lol. There was one time a guy tried to pick me up and he came off as a jerk. He was in town (supposedly) and suddenly came and showed me stretching moves which I appreciated. But then he handed me his number and said if I wanted to drop by his hotel or meet up with some of my gf's it would be cool. Your best bet is to just smile and gradually try and talk to her more and more before asking her out. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 Yeah, actually what brought that up was there was this OTHER GIRL (lol) who I've very recently been seeing there more often than the girl in the OP. Looks-wise, she's exactly my type. Tall, thin, and toned. Looks like a basketball or volleyball player (she's probably 6 ft, but it's cool I'm 6'4" She's been eying me when I'm either lifting or working the fitness floor (I'm employed at the gym.) But she ALWAYS has her headphones on, and seemingly only eyes me when she's busy working out (no way I'm bugging her then.) Then when we get close to each other outside the weight room, she ignores me and seems to vanish. On Tuesday night I was playing some hoops and I came out of the gym into the fitness center/lobby area and she got something from her locker and looked right at me just as I did. I quickly toweled my face off (towels right next to door) hoping to say something to her since I wasn't working but she was just gone. Wednesday I was working there and I inadvertently almost caught her when she was leaving (I was unfortunately collecting laundry) we were right next to each other and she seemed to not want to look at me. She then preceded to keep her headphones in while she walked out the door to go home. RRRRRRRRRR. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 COuld be alot of things.. The way I see it she: a) has a bf and was just looking... b) is playing very hard to get. c) is single and uninterested in you/anyone at the moment. Like I said, try smiling at her when you catch her looking. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 The gym is not a good place, in my opinion. Personally, I feel vulnerable at the gym. I'm sweating, getting some stress out, and not looking good at all. And, the cliche of hitting on women at the gym is a little annoying for some women. You can try but only if they are looking at you. Perhaps try to time it so you can encounter women outside of the gym. Try and leave at the same time and strike up a conversation? This is what I agree with. When i was single i didn't want guys talking to me at the gym - you do feel vulnerable and you are sweaty and just trying to work hard. I am sure some women are different - lord knows some women at the gym come in with hair perfectly done and make up just right so maybe they wouldn't mind, but for most of us gals we just want to get in and get our work done and get out... And they might be looking your way, but honestly i glance at all kinds of people at the gym but i am not 'checking' them out. Just looking at their work out and such and sure, it is normal to admire a finely chiseled male body or even a very firm and athletic female body - I am a straight women and can admire both - but it doesn't constitute me 'checking them out'. SOmeone mentioned earphones and that is another deterrent...it might be pretty hard to try to strike up a convo with a gal on a machine when she has britney spears tunes pumping at full volume in her ear! Link to comment
imsuperman Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 COuld be alot of things.. The way I see it she: a) has a bf and was just looking... b) is playing very hard to get. c) is single and uninterested in you/anyone at the moment. Like I said, try smiling at her when you catch her looking. Since it is the case with me 150,000% of the time, I'm gonna go with option "a." But ya never know. I mean I know nothing about her. I'm 22. I'd say she's definitely at least 18, but could still be in HS. I don't know... But more than likely she's option "a" like every single other girl who does this to me, lol. I'M MORE THAN JUST EYE CANDY! I HAVE FEELINGS! HAHA. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'M MORE THAN JUST EYE CANDY! I HAVE FEELINGS! HAHA. LOL thanks for the chuckle. That was cute. But seriously if you look as good as you say i am sure you will find a woman rather easily. Some young women (and probably quite a few older) are easily woo'd by looks and muscle. LOL Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 LOL thanks for the chuckle. That was cute. But seriously if you look as good as you say i am sure you will find a woman rather easily. Some young women (and probably quite a few older) are easily woo'd by looks and muscle. LOL I'm sometimes/mostly intimidated by muscles and good looks on a guy, at the gym, pumping iron. I always think "oh he's hot and he knows it!" which is why I'll be one of those girls copping a look and then ignoring the guy lol. Simply b/c I'm a bit chicken to make a move and possibly get shot down. Or I worry that he probably has a trail of women behind him already. So OP: maybe you intimidate some If I see a guy is down to earth and/or friendly though I get more interested. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 That is also a good point Jeckyll. There are probably a lot of women tho who think they are also hot to trot and don't care. LOL But yes, OP, keep a down to earth demeanor. Also....and not trying to offend, but most women might find the working out with a shirt off a sign of a bit of vanity. There are very few men at my gym (and i go to the Y with all shapes, sizes and ages) - even the young very chiseled ones - who work out sans the shirt. Some women feel a guy is showing off when he does that. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 Oh no, shirt's on. Just sleeveless. Have to have a shirt at my gym. Seriously, if I had like 5 bucks for every gorgeous girl who made eyes at me, I could pay for about a year's worth of health insurance, lol. I don't consider myself to be amazing looking, but I don't think I'm too bad. My pic is on page 48 of the post a photo of yourself part II thread in the General>Off Topic forum. But I'm wearing long sleeves so you can't see the GUNS. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Yea, I agree. I get intimidated or put off by guys showing their muscles in tanks at the gym. BUT... alot of girls love it. so i just let him know he should be expecting a VERY nice birthday gift and should look forward to it. Haha. You can't please em all. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Oh no, shirt's on. Just sleeveless. Have to have a shirt at my gym. Seriously, if I had like 5 bucks for every gorgeous girl who made eyes at me, I could pay for about a year's worth of health insurance, lol. I don't consider myself to be amazing looking, but I don't think I'm too bad. My pic is on page 48 of the post a photo of yourself part II thread in the General>Off Topic forum. But I'm wearing long sleeves so you can't see the GUNS. OK i was wondering when you intially said shirtless becuase i didn't think that was allowed at any gym. LOL Link to comment
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