First Date Help (sorry =))

[Slagar]

Well... for anyone that read my post a few days ago, I am really growing fond of this girl, and I asked her out. She really likes me too...

She is 15 (turning 16 soon)... and I am 18... the gap kind of sucks, but we have some amazing common interests, and really seem to click. The great thing about her, is I can be myself so easily around her. I considered waiting for a year and a couple of months, till she's like 17, but I didn't want to let her get away...

 

Anyway, we are both pretty shy and new to the whole dating thing.

I need some ideas and advice for the first date... I need something that is reasonably casual, and that where we can get some nice time to talk...

I was thinking, maybe a movie or something with some food afterwards... but then, I need a reasonably quiet place if things are going to happen... maybe a kiss after I escort her home...? =)

What would be the best time of day? It'll most likely take place on a sunday... as I am at uni throughout the week, as she is at school, and we're both very busy... we both work friday nights and saturdays (day and night)...

 

One thing that can't be overlooked is that I can't drive... I really wish I could now, and I am working on it... neither does she of course... any easy way around this?

 

I am sure this topic has come up heaps before too... but I am quite the newby, and don't want to mess this up (like last time; my first date ever)... I have searched a lot through the resources and forums on this site, with some great help, but still not overly practical to my situation.

Any advice, ideas, tips, info etc would be much appreciated. Thanks a bunch everyone =)

[Beec]

If I am taking a woman out, my first date is almost always dinner, if I can get her to agree. I like dinner because it gives us a chance to talk. If we cannot talk, why would I want to date her. The idea of where to go for dinner is the issue. With a someone who is in their teens, I would not expect to go to an expensive place where I was going to be handed a wine list. You just want someplace where the food is decent, the atmosphere such that you will be left alone or at least quiet enough to talk, and where you do not come off appearing as trying to impress her with how much money it costs or as being too cheap.

 

The too expensive or cheap question is best handled by asking friends. What is the standard for your area.

 

When I was your age, my best bets were probably going to places that served a middling level of chinese food. Some place with a take out business and more than a few tables. The food is not too expensive. The atmosphere is not great, but normally quiet enough to talk. My other usual choice in my teens and early twenties was an Italian restaurant which just jumped up above the level of a pizza place. Actually, a pizza spot was not out until I really got into my twenties. Once I was in my twenties, pizza became too cheap for a first date.

 

A movie before would not be a bad bet, but think about your choice. YOu may not need the movie before but without it your whole date could be over real fast. When I take a woman in her thirties to dinner for a first date, I know it is going to last well over an hour, probably two. Dinner is a semi-fast chinese spot or Italian place could be over way too fast.

 

Not knowing you, her or where you are puts a damper on me being able to suggest soemthing else. I wouldn't do it for a first date anyway. I have gone on a first date picnic and once when I was in my early 20s orderd take out chinese and had dinner in a park with a woman. First dates are about making her feel safe, biggest priority for you, then talking to her. How you talk should be your biggest thing to think about. You should not do more than half of the talking. If she is not talking as her questions to draw her out. Ask her questions about her interests, since you share some it should be easy.

[Slagar]

That's very helpful Beec, thanks a lot!

I know a decent italian place in town... we could maybe see a movie at the Imax complex or something, and then head on over there...

It's a little pricy though, and not very casual... hmmm...

There are heaps of places in town (not that I know many really

 

I am not too worried about talking to her... conversation comes pretty easily between us

... but perhaps I should be... dates are quite different I guess. If I am relaxed (hopefully; should be, with her) then conversation will be no problem.

 

Perhaps I'll bug a friend for some first date ideas.

Thanks again for your advice... it's very good!

[Beec]

You are welcome.

 

Asking a friend for suggestions as to where to eat would be the best idea.

 

A walk between the places you go would be very good, so long as it is nto too far. I occasionally walk somewhere between dinner and dessert, so I get an opportunity to exchange body language. We alk, our hands bump into each other a few times, each time we bump them together, there is a little more contact or pressure or duration, then after five or six times, I take the hint and grab her hand.

 

One of my moves is to window shop while we walk, then persuade her to go into a window with a little alcove, where I will make a slow and definite move to kiss her. That may be a little direct for you to pull off, but when you do move to kiss her, stand facing her, tell her you had fun being with her, then just slowly move in. If she turns away, ask her if something is wrong. If she doesn't want to or isn't ready say ok and move on.