amethyst exchange Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 This semester I've been hanging around a lot with this girl in my class (We also belong and are officers in the Trumpeter Swan Restoration Committee at school). As such we kind of went out with these friends of hers for a few drinks one night (it was not a date). Ever since then I've been getting these mad ideas in my head to ask her out on a legitimate date. I've had a crush on her for nearly two full months going on three actually. It's just every time I go to ask, I chicken out. Well I don't chicken out, rather I kind of...don't get around to asking. I did ask once earlier this week and she kind of said 'I can't now, I'm so busy I don't even have time to eat'...which was a response to a rather rushed and tacked on 'Would like to have dinner sometime' on the end of a discussion we had on something for club (So I don't know if I should actually count it as an actual request for a date as I think she sort of interpretted it as something else). The thing is, I know from her facebook account (I'm her friend legitimately it wasn't some stalker thing) and from conversations with her that she's been out for drinks with her friends this week. It leaves me actually a bit confused, as to whether she actually did say 'no I don't want to date you' or rather she was being sincere about the whole 'I'm really busy and don't have time right now' because it could be that those times she went out she'd already had preplanned...or am I just deluding myself into thinking that so I don't feel like crap and alone. On top of that we've been spending a lot of time together for the Trumpeter swans and for class (not by choice...really, we were kind of assigned, though she did pick me...but then I'm a New officer so she could be just trying to do some 'training'). I'm worried that that would make her be a bit sick of me by the end of the week or day. What I should do, is just come out and say 'Would you like to gout out with me tonight, we could eat dinner or have some drinks?'. I'm just worried that she'd react badly if it dawned on her that I had those sorts of feelings for her... Link to comment
Alabama Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 She did not say "no". Rather she informed you earlier that she was very busy right now and does not have time to date. So, it is not a rejection and I'd advise you to wait when she does have time to go out sometime. Link to comment
IronHorse Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Well, don't feel like crap you didn't do anything wrong. It's perfectly normal to have a crush and for the obeject of your desire to not be interested. IMHO she's just saving you from hurt feelings but in effect she's just not interested in you. So, move on with your life she will get the signal. Why not skip one of those meetings and make no bones about it. Tell her I'd really like to come but I've already made plans that evening. But, hey I'll see you at the next meeting so have fun... Then walk away leaving nothing else said better for her to fill in the mystery blanks... Link to comment
angellight Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 If you like someone you FIND the time to see them....If a guy asked me out (when I was single) and I was busy but interested, I might say something like. I'm so busy this week with (insert obligations) but you doing anything next weekend? That way I make sure he knows I really am busy but DO want to see him....Sorry.... Link to comment
amethyst exchange Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Well, don't feel like crap you didn't do anything wrong. It's perfectly normal to have a crush and for the obeject of your desire to not be interested. Because it's not the kind of club where we can just miss, it isn't for fun, we actually do rather important student sponsored work for Trumpeter Swan restoration. There's a chunk of responsibility with being in it. I was kind of worried she'd not be that interested in me... It's just that when she said it, it was true, last week was a murderous schedule, we were seeing each other every day and we were having tests and assignments left and right and we were generally post-post busy. I don't know. I'll try once more and be a bit more adamant about getting a non-ambiguous answer...and if she says no, well then, just leave it I guess. Because I can take no, as an answer and I don't really need to grovel. It'd just be nice to have a companion some nights (She's graduating this year and I'm not...so the chances of a truly serious relationship is rather low...and...well...if I'm being truthful doing this is more of a proof to myself that I can and more of a kind of practice run....I guess). Link to comment
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