New here-How to know if and when to let go of ex

[1MoreChance]

i think what people need to let go of an ex is another significant event in their lives that has the same kind of importance as the break up. In my case, it was my future and what i was going to do with my life. It really gave me a kick up the backside.

 

Sorry I'm not clear on what you mean...

[spion_kop]

Bah, sorry if i was unclear. I feel that you need basically a goal that will help you get over your ex. It has to be significant enough that it will help you get over her. In my case, my goal wasnt directly to get over but to get a hold of my life and understand what i wanted to do with it. Once i was on that path, getting over my ex got easier as each day passed.

You just have to figure out what your goal is that isnt directly related to your ex because i figured that any goal relating to the ex only makes it harder to get over them.

[1MoreChance]

I have several goals but I guess some are not moving along very fast... I'm too depressed to really get myself together and go for it...

 

My ex bf and I have been on "break" for months now, but just recently a week ago he met someone else (did I mention it already? I'm in a bit of a fog). I just say the new girl on his msn profile... that's why I'm in shock and confused.

 

right now the grief is just too much. I dread going to bed because I wake up thinking i am doomed because I am so lonely for him. And alos mornings are the worst.

[xRoh]

as you said, she is 15. there is no way he can have a proper relationship with her. don't worry about it.

 

as long as you are in the picture, supporting him, nothing will change. you are supporting his relationship by being there for him whenever he is frustrated with her. i'm sure you wouldn't like it if your new boyfriend was turning to his ex every time you had an argument. if you cut off all contact he'll realise what he's missing.

[spion_kop]

All i can say is that i was in that phase. Embrace it and dont think that you have to force yourself past it. Keep going through this journey because there is light at the end of the tunnel. Mornings are the worst too because i use to wake up lost and felt like a ghost. The grief is critical for self-discovery and self-improvement

[1MoreChance]

All i can say is that i was in that phase. Embrace it and dont think that you have to force yourself past it. Keep going through this journey because there is light at the end of the tunnel. Mornings are the worst too because i use to wake up lost and felt like a ghost. The grief is critical for self-discovery and self-improvement

 

thanks for reminding me of this. I am reading a book by boudhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh and he says to be grateful for our pain because it allows us to develop a deeper understanding and compassion, and that without it there can be no joy. He talks about how we need waste material to create compost to create flowers and how the flowers go back to the compost ect etc. Tgis is what I am going thru.

 

Xrho

 

I understand. You are right. But I cannot know that I will become more interesting once I leave and I plan on doing NC cause this is crazyness. And she isn't his girlfriend. Just a note (not only is it true but I cannot even bare the mention that she is... I ma in too much sadness).