Can you truly commit to someone quickly?

[Scorpion Fury]

I think by doubting whether I'd be ready to commit to him lifetime I am showing maturity and love for him.

 

I take that kind of thing seriously and wouldnt want to commit until i was sure because that just leads to people getting hurt.

 

That's a good way to think.

[SapphireNoir10]

Thank you.

 

I wont say 'Yeah I wanna get engaged too' Until I know I mean it. I just wonder if he can truly know it or is he just infatuated.

[Divine_Malice]

Very rarely is it true love in those 5 months. That is an extremely short time for most to consider a person the "one". Especially at a young age.

 

What most people feel the first 5 months is those initial feelings of lust which have people blinded and thinking they are in love.

 

 

My age is completely irrelevant.

 

It isn't your opinion it is the fact you keep coming up with MOST people are in love after 5 months. So I guess (since i'm guessing you're older than me?) that in your life inexperience you have had the opportunity to meet EVERYONE that has ever been in a relationship and question them?

 

Just because of YOUR experiences where most people are "in love" and marry after 5 months doesn't mean MOST it doesn't work out that way.

 

Now here you are using "Most" After you got on to kitty about using that word. You can not define the whole world in saying most. I know a good majority of people who married less and are happily married and a good majority who dated long before a year or two and are divorced. Vise versa. So there for there is no "exact Data" since these are emotions that cant be charted. Its between two people and everybody knows that different people are capable of different emotions. So yes to some five months seem fast to others its just long enough. Now is there harm in waiting till the year mark? Hell no! If you love each other enough to spend all your life with them then you'll be waiting around for them. Each has there own opinion and for you to go at them, specially when your are just as guilty. As they always say to his and hers their own. There is no exact number, as long as you are sure, you know the person and you both are willing to make that chance why not. People are different and we really need to remember that.

 

Here are my thoughts:

 

1. Different blokes, different strokes. There is not a "right" time or some magical 'countdown' clock. Some people say they know right away if a person is right for them, and it can take time for others. But who are we to judge?

 

2. Personally, looking back I didn't really 'know' my ex until we had been dating for about 3 years. We both (and I think many do) tried to convey a certain image to each other until we realized that there was something deeper. I was drawn to her as a person -- not the image. But it does take time in order to find that person. How much? Like I said -- different for everyone.

 

Thank you, thats exactly right. Hell I have known a few people that have waited seven years to get married, Now I know a lot of people think that is way to long. Each person/Each couple is different.

[D_Lish]

I still think people shouldn't make so rash a decision and so early in a relationship and especially when we are wearing 'rose tinted' spectacles. It's the rest of your life, you are making a decision about. I think it's wise to wait, see how things unfold and progress...give each other time, to get to know one another properly before committing.

 

Like I say, what we want now, may not be what we want in a year, 2, 5 or 10 years....

We just don't know what is gonna happen, but people will always take a chance.

 

When I was 18 I got engaged and to a guy I'd been with for only five months. Course, I was in lurvvve, he was defo who I wanted to spend the rest of the next 50, 60 years with, thought it was gonna last till death do us part and nobody but nobody, could tell me otherwise....and it didn't last.

 

Met a guy at 22....six weeks later we were engaged, few months after we were married. I was in lurrrve, thought he was the love of my life and we were together, forever and ever.......and it didn't last....

 

When I look back I think....what a complete dork I was. But the heart tends to rule the head in these situations.

 

Still, I got a nice collection of rings out of it all......

 

Works out for some I guess.....but not all.

[Divine_Malice]

I was engaged after four months and it didn't work out. I have gone through the same. I am not saying rush head on. If you can wait and want to no harm in that. I am with my now boyfriend and we have talked of engagement only after seven months of dateing. (though we have known each other much longer, best friends) So yes we want to spend the rest of our lives together but we are going to wait and make sure its right. I don't want to loose another engagement. So we still talk about it but we know we are going to wait a bit. I think its a smart decision even though I know it wont change. But again everyones different.