Not sure how to do this!

[Scaredypants]

This is my first post, just looking for maybe some opinions!

 

My boyfriend and I broke up a bit ago (his doing), and we kept in contact every day since (through text message). We are in a long distance relationship and really committed to one another in the sense that he knows I would never ruin our relationship by cheating, and he wouldnt either. ANYWAYS. We got back together today, but he said he was "Annoyed" at me talking so much everyday (yes I admit, I cried.. wined.. begged). He told me that he loves me, but talking ALL day EVERYDAY.. is just to much for him. (He has a busy lifestyle). So he said that he wanted a week break. Not a breakup but just a week without talking to me... I can see why he needs it.. but I can't help not liking it.. I enjoy speaking to him everyday lol.. so my seven days will officially begin tomorrow.. sounds stupid but I need encouragement!!!

[justletgo07]

Try to look at it this way: No two people are perfectly compatible, and because of this, the more time you spend together, whether it is in person or on the phone, the more those small incompatibilities will seem huge. A lot of couples break up because they are just around each other way too much. People get bored when you're always there with them. Always being around and available kills the attraction.

 

Strong, healthy relationships happen between 2 people who have separate lives and who make the other a PART of theirs. As soon as your bf/gf becomes too big a part of your life, you can guaruntee they will be running to for the hills if you don't change something. Find things to do to fill up your time. It'll make your conversations more interesting, and the less you talk, the more you'll have to talk about (and the more you'll look forward to talking!)

 

You want to talk to him everyday because that is what you're used to. It is something you're comfortable with. COMFORT KILLS RELATIONSHIPS. Makes no sense, but its true. No one wants something that is easy or a sure thing. Being less available makes you more valuable, the same way gold or diamonds are valuable because they are rare. You're feeling uneasy because it is major change from what you're used to...it brings uncertainty into your relationship. In reality, it is only 7 days. Use the time to make a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing before you were with your boyfriend that you no longer do and start doing those things again.

 

Good luck!

[savignon]

I think you need to look at it from his point of view...he's asking for something from you and wanting to find out if his needs can be met by you. Think of it as a test of sorts (whether or not that's healthy is another story, but your post is about getting through this week 'break')

I cannot stand when I feel suffocated by a partner and will look for 'breaks' to take (not actual no contact breaks, but I'll go off on my own for a bit to the store or to read a book or something to get some time for myself). If I asked my partner for some time and he whined/cried/etc. I would roll my eyes to the high heaven and wonder if my needs could be met in this relationship.

So, back off and give him the time he needs. Show him you don't *need him* to get through your day. Being responsible for someone else's moods/well-being is too much pressure.

[davef]

I am confused, first you say that your bf broke up with you and then you are saying that you are together, eventhough it is only text. It sounds like you are dumped already. In any case, if still he cares about you then he is playing hard to get. Some guys do this because they think that it makes girls more excited (and horny), and maybe it's true. I don't however, think that a guy who is in a serious relationship wouldn't want to hear from you everyday. C'mon now, people are not being honest here, guys are always on top of where their wives, gfs' or SO's are all the time and are always careful to be sure that other guys are not hitting on their wife (whether they are the jealous type or not). People that don't agree with this are straight-up lying to you. Frankly, I don't think you are right for each other.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

This is crap. He dumps you and then you communicate every day while broken up. Today you get back together and yet is now that you are back together that he wants to stop communicating with you for a week! That's BS and I smell a rat. I hope he is not just stringing you along. If you are back together then you should not be in NC for a week. This "break" business usually does not bode well. I would not assume you are together at this point because silence between people after a break up is not the way to go. If you are together again then you communicate...it is when two people are broken up that there should be NC.

[Ac143]

Yeah this would bother the crap out of me & completely irk me if my "bf" made that request the day we got back together. Is there a reason why he was OK with talking everyday when you guys were broken up but not when you are back together? Aren't you guys doing this backwards?

 

Why can't you just not talk everyday, all day & just talk once a day or every other day instead of going NC for a week? What will that accomplish? Will you stop talking to him everyday once the week is over or are you guys going to go back to how it was?