Cindy C Posted February 20, 2003 Share Posted February 20, 2003 Hello, I need some advice. I have been going out with this guy for 2 years now. I havent met his parents. Is there a problem there I don't know why I did ask him why and he said because its none of thier business does anyone know why? I hope someone can help me. It has been so hard on me. He has met my family though. He just hasnt met my father yet. So why does he want to keep me a secert and why doesnt he want me to meet his parents. I need some help Hope someone can help me Link to comment
jessikate Posted February 20, 2003 Share Posted February 20, 2003 I think you should definitely sit and talk to him about it. You've invested two years of your life in this guy, and you deserve at least an explanation. Maybe he's embarrassed by them for one reason or another. Or, maybe there's a committment issue lying around somewhere. (if you meet his parents, than that means you really are in a serious relationship) I remember this one guy I was dating introduced me to his dad, and daddy decided right away that he didn't like me. He wouldn't talk to me. If he wanted to say something to me, he'd tell my ex... RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME... like I wasn't even there. Nice, huh? What I'm saying is, maybe you don't want to meet his parents after all. (although that is an extreme case... ) Whatever the case... take him to a nice quite coffee shop, sit him down, and calmly explain to him how you are feeling. Maybe suggest that you all go to dinner, or lunch. Even if he doesn't respond right away... it will be in his head. He WILL think about it. I hope this helps and good luck! Link to comment
Cindy C Posted February 20, 2003 Author Share Posted February 20, 2003 Thank you. See we are in a serious relationship well that is what he keeps telling me. See he used to go out with a friend of mine. We became good friends and when they broke up everytime I was his shoulder to cry on. Then we started hanging out and it became more. I really don't know if he loves me he saids he does but action speaks louder than words. I have suggest that him and his parents go out together but he saids they are never home. I really do love this guy but does he really love me or is it lust? Link to comment
jessikate Posted February 20, 2003 Share Posted February 20, 2003 You're right, actions do speak louder than words. You can do one of two things. The first... talk to him. He obviously thinks of you as a friend, as he cried on your shoulder after breaking up with someone. He thereforeeeeeee knows you are there for him. That is good. Now, knowing that the road of friendship goes two ways... it's his turn to be there for you. You can tell him that. The second may be a little more dissappointing to hear. If I've learned anything in this world, it's to trust your gut feeling. If you really feel something's not right, then chances are something isn't right. Again, the only way you will find out is to call him on it. Put him on the spot. The advice I have at this point is to be strong. There is someone out there that will give you the trust and respect you deserve. Someone that will share every part of his life with you, as you would with him. Again, relationships are a two-way highway. Sometimes you just have to travel that distance and live through the bumps in the road before you get there. (believe me... I've been over some big fat ones!) Link to comment
Cindy C Posted February 20, 2003 Author Share Posted February 20, 2003 He tells me that its not lust and he has never lied to me this whole timeand I have never caught him in a lie. When he use to go out with my friend he use o see her alot I only see him 2 a week he took her to the movies and the main thing I really want is how he really feels about me he won't tell me. He told my friend everything about how he feels and stuff why cant he do that for me Link to comment
Aura Seeker Posted February 20, 2003 Share Posted February 20, 2003 Hi Cindy, thanks for your feedback on my inquiry. ;-) I am wondering if your friend ever met his parents? You mentioned that he went out with her first. I think Jessikate may be right. You may not want to really meet his parents. He just might be saving you. What if they are mean? What kind of background does he come from? Blue blood? Trailer park? Both of those places would have their reasons for him to not want to present you. I am with Jessi again on this, sit him down, and let him know that after this amount of time, you deserve to know what the hang up is. Let us know how it goes!;-) PS, if he told your friend how he felt about her and doesn't do that with you, there is a red flag there (I think) You might have caught him on the rebound, and how better to hurt the ex than to go out with her best friend? AS Link to comment
Cindy C Posted February 20, 2003 Author Share Posted February 20, 2003 Well she is married now and I hate her lol. I was thinking it was a rebound but it was a year before we became more than friends i do keep asking him if i as a rebound he said no cause he wanted me when he was with her because when all of us went out she would leave him alone and go dance with other guys and stuff and we would talk. Yes he did introduce her to his parents but it was 4 years before he went with her. He really is a nice guy but I am crying everytime I go to sleep. Is there a way to wake him up to see what he really has. I do everyhting for him I write poems for him i see him even if I am busy I still make time for him. Link to comment
Cindy C Posted February 20, 2003 Author Share Posted February 20, 2003 Oh yeah sorry your welcome for my advice. He is from Connecticut and I forgot to mention I do have a 5 year old son he lives in the good part of connecticut i have seen his house and I did send his family a fruit basket for the holidays and his mother did send a thank you card to me. She seems nice. i know his friends and his parents didnt like my friend was he was with her she was very controling He loves to Jet ski and she told him to give that up and she didnt want him to hang with his friends either I am the opposite I let him do whatever he wants I show him alot of love. Maybe he is just scared I really don't know he is hard to figure out sometimes.IS THERE A WAY TO MAKE HIM REALIZE WHAT HE HAS IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE HIM REALIZE IT. Link to comment
Aura Seeker Posted February 20, 2003 Share Posted February 20, 2003 Hi again Cindy, I personally don't know of any wake up calls. What might work on one person, might drive another away. There is a reason why that book "Women are from Venus and men are from Mars" sold so many copies!!! LOL We are all complicated in our own ways I guess. Hard to say where his fears are coming from. Maybe he is avoiding the parents with you because they might just love you, and start pressure to marry or something! Could be zillions of reasons. Only he will be able to tell you. It doesn't sound like rebound if a year went by. It all seems to be weighing on your mind though, and sooner or later, you will have to get the torture kit out....and make him talk!!! lol I hope things get clear for you. AS Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now