I'm in serious need of advice/input. Thanks!

[Mr. P]

Okay, I met this girl when I was 18 and she was 19. We fell in love, we really had a beautiful relationship and had a lot of great times. I never EVER, thought we'd break up or be apart. I literally saw myself with her forever. We chose to be around each other over everyone else, I moved away from my family to be near her for many years. It was well worth it though. However I think that because we relied on each other so much and didn't have a lot of people outside to associate with and socialize with there was no balance, so it sort of hurt us in the long run maybe. We fought, we had arguments, disagreements. I had some personal tragedies in my personal life and I think I let that wear on us somewhat and I never wanted it that way, but she was the person that I trusted the most and felt like I could talk to the most about anything, no matter the situation. About 5 months ago or so we were planning to move from the east coast to the west coast so I went first and was working and things, trying to get things in order for when she arrived. I felt that she had done so much for me and I wanted more than anything to repay her, so this was sort of going to be for her. Over the past couple years of our relationship she had become more reclusive and unhappy partly because of where we were living at the time, she didn't really meet a lot of people she had a connection with. So, we had decided that a total change of scenery was in order. I can't even describe how I feel about her, I consider her more family to me than anyone else on the planet, we kinda grew up together and experienced and learned so much together. I love her more than anything in this world and it's hard for me to imagine going on without her. But, at around the middle of September she was saying she was planning on coming to west coast as planned, I was looking at places for us to stay, blah blah. Had a steady job there for a couple months. Then, she called me one night while I was at work and said she didn't want to come anymore. I immediately knew that there was someone else, she didn't even acknowledge it until a day later. I stayed up all night and the next day, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I booked a flight back home immediately and quit my job there, hoping I could talk some sense into her and convince her she was making a mistake. She admitted to me there was a new guy and he was coming about 5 days after I got back to the east coast to visit her. He was someone she had been talking to online for a while and stuff, I actually read some of their conversations. He was basically really seeking a girlfriend, he had posted adds on craigslist and things of that nature. He tried to convince her to fly off to where he lived in arizona 2 days after I got back home, she wasn't even going to tell me, she was just going to leave. He had made a lot of promises to her before they've even met, financial promises and things of that nature, saying she could stay with him and everything and just relax. I asked the guy not to come to see her immediately, I asked him to give us a grace period, I thought that wasn't too much to ask, but I guess I was wrong. He came and then she left with him, I was in the hospital a few days later with an acute stress reaction, I lost about 15% of my total bodyweight within 2 weeks and am still struggling to gain it back months later, I'm not even feeling 100% yet. She wouldn't answer my calls when I went to the hospital, or really answer my calls period. I had felt like my world was ending, pretty much. We were together for 7 years and she's the only girl I ever kissed, the only hand I've ever held, the only love I've ever experienced. Since then I've been trying to convince her that she made a mistake. She flew in around Christmas to visit me for a couple days and the new guy stayed in a hotel. She says she still considers me her very best friend and everything but it's hard for me to accept that after what happened. I need help! I don't know what to think..

[Amasa]

Sounds bad...... And it's even worse that she would end a relationship and not give you a why.

Maybe she's on a crazy spree, maybe she's really done. But either way I think you have to back off.

 

And I think you have to calm down. If you want her back you have to be happy with yourself. Your response tells me maybe your not. Maybe you need a vacation from the relationship.

[ryan2000]

I'm in a similar position.

 

After 13 years, my ex Doesn't want to give it another shot but says that i am "The most important person in her life".... and still wants to remain friends.

 

How the hell people can do that is beyond me.