He wants a break for a bit

[cry1981]

Here's my situation;

I have been with this guy for 6 months. We met august last year shortly after my mum died and I just got out of a 4 year relationship with a really nasty guy.

 

Everything was going great, and I didn't really have any idea about what was going on, because he rarely talks and opens up about these things to me. He is 7 years older than I am and has never had a serious relationship with a guy before. He just closed that door in his life and has only recently opened it and did what he wanted to do because he lost a relative too.

 

I think he is scared to come out to his friends and family because he is afraid of rejection and this is why he wants to have a break for a while to sort things out in his head. He tells me he loves me and cares a lot about me and that he will always know me, but I'm afraid that he is willing to throw away what we have got, (and it is a lot and very special), just so he doesn't lose his family more than his friends.

 

This is what I think anyway, because it's not what he says. He says he is fed up off all the lying he has to do to people about where he is what he's doing and so on, and that's not him because he is no liar. He also says that this is all new to him, and he doesn't really know what do to because he has nothing to compare it to.

 

I have told him I'm willing to give him the time he needs, but its breaking my heart to know that I wont be seeing him for a while, because, and I don't mean to sound selfish, but I need him a lot, he is the closest person to me and there is things that I only could share with him.

 

When I spoke to him last night on the phone I asked him does this mean zero contact and he said no we can still talk on the phone and text each other because he really doesn't mind and he likes to talk to me on the phone. I'm very confused though because at first, I thought that I would just leave him alone and not phone him or text him but I don't think that would do him any good because he is isolated as it is. But on the other hand, it's not doing me any good. Either way my heart feels like its breaking.

 

Could Some one please give me some advice on what i should do?

[Clambert]

Sounds to me like you are handleing it the right way. You dont need to cut off all contact, just talking on the phone and texting may be enough to remind him how much he needs you. Your not being selfish, coming out to the people you care about ,takes some time which im sure you know. My friend didnt come out to his parents or close friends until he was 19, and they are just now getting comfortable with it, other than that he has had boyfriends since the time that he was 14. that is a long time to hide a secret. Just be patient with him. He'll come around eventually. he evidently cares alot about you too. Good luck!