How far did u go to try to get your ex back?

[littlestar]

For those who have attempted to get your ex back how far did you go and how long did you try for?

Was the reunion successful or a waste of time?

[waveseer]

I went to great lengths emotionally for about six months most of which I spent struggling with accepting how I was feeling. It was not a waste of time althought it was not successful either. I finally got the closure I had needed for two and a half years.

[Wmast]

This should be an interesting thread.

I begged and pleaded for the 1st 3 weeks. I tried to talk reason with her, I bought flowers, made a photo slideshow of our past for her but I noticed that it was only pushing her away. I went NC but with the intent to actually heal and move on. During this NC time she'd try to contact me but I didn't budge. Lo and behold after 2 full months of NC she came back.The experience didn't last long because she never left the other guy that she dumped me for and she basically strung me along.

[Cognitive_Canine]

This probably isn't what you wanted initially but....

 

I tried damn hard to heal myself. He ended up coming back on his own about 3-4 months later. And, the get back together has been relatively successful. Pretty darn good for getting back together over the phone....13 hours away.....

 

I am a strong believer that working on yourself is the way to go. It is a win/win situation. You feel better by letting go of your ex. If they come back, you know they came back on their own and I think that that is a lot stronger than working on someone to get them to come back. You are better healed and thereforee can address the problems and insecurities that come with getting back together (oh, there are so many...). And, if they don't come back, you are fine.

[brent642]

I cried for about an hour on the phone while begging and pleading with her the night she dumped me...she didn't even have the decency to say it to my face.

 

Besides that over the past 3 months since the breakup I have made NO OVERT attempts to get back together with her...pretty much all I did between the time of the breakup and now was text her a couple brief messages about picking up my stuff i left over her house and then about 3 very brief phone conversations clearing post-breakup stuff up mutual things we left behind at our houses. Nothing really big...at least I consider.

 

But with all the rumors she's spreading around about me you'd swear I was some creeper up in a tree spying on her...I really feel if it weren't for her scumbag friends spreading sht on me I would've heard from her by now.

 

I don't care. Her loss.

[lady00]

Well, I tried to get an ex back for a while after he broke up with me. Wasted a lot of time on that. Then I gave up, dated a few other guys. Then my bf (a different ex from years ago) came back on his own without any prompting from me.

[greywolf]

I didn't do much. I tried to move on. She came back and we ended up not working out. I honestly think that if they really want to try again, you don't really have to try too hard to get them to come back.

[MattyG]

About a week after we broke up I showed up at my ex's house at 2 in the morning after a nasty email she sent I didnt like. Her mother thought I was a burgler and came to the door with a loaded revolver and 6 dogs...So ya i've done my share of dumb stuff.

[veneratio]

Too far and too long. Way too long.

[isn]

I called and begged, then went LC, and right now it is NC at her request. I still have hope. Its been 3.5 months since we have seen each other.

[John Bendix]

This probably isn't what you wanted initially but....

 

I tried damn hard to heal myself. He ended up coming back on his own about 3-4 months later. And, the get back together has been relatively successful. Pretty darn good for getting back together over the phone....13 hours away.....

 

I am a strong believer that working on yourself is the way to go. It is a win/win situation. You feel better by letting go of your ex. If they come back, you know they came back on their own and I think that that is a lot stronger than working on someone to get them to come back. You are better healed and thereforee can address the problems and insecurities that come with getting back together (oh, there are so many...). And, if they don't come back, you are fine.

 

This seems to be a very rational plan. Though in the midst of all of the emotional reactions going on at the time, it is difficult to accomplish and there will indeed be slip-ups.

[happyforyou]

That's HILARIOUS! Sorry, but it made me chuckle...LOL

[Cognitive_Canine]

This seems to be a very rational plan. Though in the midst of all of the emotional reactions going on at the time, it is difficult to accomplish and there will indeed be slip-ups.

 

Actually, I remained very good about it and only contacted him after he called me (happened about 3 times over the course of the 3 months apart).

 

It was very difficult to deal with the breakup. While I was alone at home, my heart felt like it was actually broken. Like a pressure on my chest.

 

I spent a lot of time crying but forced myself to go shopping, forced myself to go the gym every day and continue running, forced myself to call up friends, and forced myself to take up more hobbies.

 

That's how I deal with breakups though, I fight pain with logic.

[BlackOps]

Debaser_wolf is totally on point with probably the best thing on here right now.

I handled the break up the same way and did nothing to get her back. I worked on me and healed up and got myself correct. I sent one apology letter that was written to help me heal and take responsibility for my actions even then it was short, just one page hand written.

 

I am a strong believer that working on yourself is the way to go. It is a win/win situation. You feel better by letting go of your ex. If they come back, you know they came back on their own and I think that that is a lot stronger than working on someone to get them to come back. You are better healed and thereforee can address the problems and insecurities that come with getting back together (oh, there are so many...). And, if they don't come back, you are fine.