Grandfather passed away 2 days ago, today is my birthday

[Tears May Fall]

My grandfather just passed away two days ago on the 4th. The poor man was suffering a lot with end stage parkinsons/dementia and couldnt move or talk for almost a year now so we were in a sense relieved to see him be out of his suffering. I handled the event well as I was ready for this and knew it was coming so I wasnt hit hard by it very much. In fact, I was actually finally trully relieved to see him go, because it would hurt me everytime I saw him to have to be in this type of state.

 

 

Today however, the 6th, is my birthday. I feel like I havent had an enjoyable birthday is 4 years. This year, my grandfather and actually my mom was in the hospital earlier this week but she turned out to be ok. Three years ago on december 1st, my father passed away at the age of 51 from pancreatic cancer. The last two years, my then girlfriend always seemed to get really sick right before my birthday and I spent majority of time taking care of her and being in the hospital (although I did go out with friends and party, but it without her which obviously sucked). Even my 21st birthday, 4 years ago, I had a final the next day so I couldnt enjoy that either but it wasnt nearly as bad as the other years with sick and dying family.

 

So I feel really down this year because I was looking forward to being able to enjoy my birthday finally and had a big party planned, but I had to cancel it. I feel like something isnt meant to be for me and birthdays...I know its just one day but I feel like its the one day in the year where all the love is for you and you can really celebrate yourself. Another birthday gone...

 

Im sitting at home after midnight here on ENA rather than being out with friends and having a good time...and I also still miss my ex today too...doubt shes gonna call or text...only one person called at midnight, a close friend of mine...

[PrincessJOA]

Hey....

 

Happy Birthday

 

And my deepest regrets for your loss... He is at a much more beautiful place now I can guarantee that