He likes me, He likes me not

[givinggirl]

I just am not sure if this shy guy is interested. It started unexpectedly through a friend. I send texts and he responds, but he will never initiate. I invited him out with a group of friends and he came, gave me a hug hello, sat next to me the whole evening, seemed to be interested in my conversations, paid for me, walked me to my car and gave me a hug goodbye. I sort of felt like I was on a date. My friends thought that he seemed to be way too interested in me the whole night that they think he likes me. He did call me once, but only after I had left a VM. I invited him out again next week and he said he will be there. We have never been on a date or even talked about going on a date. I am just not too sure what is going on, but I know that he is really shy and that might be why I am so unsure as to what he is thinking. I do like him and I don't mind taking things slow and me being the initiator if he does in fact like me, but it would be nice to know. I am shy myself, so I am not just going to come out and ask.

[MushroomGod]

\ I invited him out with a group of friends and he came, gave me a hug hello, sat next to me the whole evening, seemed to be interested in my conversations, paid for me, walked me to my car and gave me a hug goodbye. \

 

He wouldn't do this if he wasn't interested. Keep initiating this stuff and eventually he'll start to. At least I've done that in the past.

[Multiplicity]

He has an interest in you. The shy types are not usually the ones to initiate things, unless they become very comfortable around you. Right now, he hasn't entirely found his comfort level with you, so you may have to push more than he will. If you really like him, I'd say keep going at it.

[givinggirl]

It would really be nice if he would send me a text on his own. I am finding it difficult to come up with things to talk about. How is he going to start feeling comfortable with me if there is hardly any interaction? I have talked about the weather, sports teams, asked questions on various topics, etc.

[sns256]

Just keep talking to him about anything. Eventually he will get comfortable with you and start bringing his own ideas to the table. It just takes some patients. Please don’t give up, he probably knows he should do something. He just can’t convince himself to yet. That’s how I would act probably.

 

What kind of questions are you asking him? The yes/ no variety are the worst. Try to ask questions that get him talking, and not questions that he can answer yes/ no to. That way you can keep talking based on what he is telling you. Maybe you could even suggest an activity that you two can do together.

[givinggirl]

OK, I tried again tonight and we did text back and forth and things seemed good. He said more than a couple word replies, so that made me happy.

[sns256]

Why not phone him and get him comfortable talking to your voice?

 

Maybe because my experience with women is nearly zero. But I am not sure what the purpose of text messaging, unless you absolutely know they can’t answer their phone eg. class at school.

 

I have sent one text in my life, and it felt kind of stupid. I would much rather hear the other person’s voice. You can hear the tone of their voice and interact on a much better level. I see email, and texting as a crutch. I have asked people around me why they do it, and they all kind of say it is stupid. But they still do it.

 

Why not phone him and sound excited to talk to him? Find out how his day was etc. I know I would like a 10-15 minute phone call much more than a few texts over an hour if I were ever to have a conversation with a girl like that. And that is coming from a really shy guy. I find it hard to believe that you can express your interest clearly through texting.

 

I see it like this. Would you like to have a date over the phone? One person at one restaurant and the other another restaurant. Describing how they look, their body language, ect. Why would you want to do something like that over a lower form of communication?

 

Same with a conversation. You don’t get the same level of interaction with a lower form of communication. I am sorry if I don’t make any sense. I am not really sure what I am talking about, but it is just my opinion.

 

Phone him, and get talking to him. He’ll get comfortable with you much quicker. I think at least. LOL

 

Remember to have fun, and please be patient with us shy guys. I know I take a long time to get comfortable around someone, but once I do I can’t shut up. LOL

[givinggirl]

I get the feeling that he is more comfortable texting right now. We will be hanging out a bit more often and then I think the talking on the phone will be more comfortable. I do agree with you about the difference in hearing voices and expressions and tones.