can rebounds ever work?

[pete2002]

some of you are familiar wtih my situation cause a few posts earlier this week, i jsut found this page, and it has been so great for me... thanks.

 

i dated girl 3.5 years, broke up wtih her, then after nine months of her trying to get me back, i've turned into a crazy person trying to get her back for 5 months. i acted like a jealous lunatic because i thought she was with this mean guy that hooked up a lot, adn she did in fact hook up with him a few times, but then told me it was over. but i kept harping on it and acting crazy, and sure enough i found out yesterday she is dating a different guy, this really nice guy that she has always been friends with since starting law school six months ago, but who she had "no spark wtih" for the first five and a half months, until now.

 

anyway, my question is this.. during the early part of our break that i intiated, i started to hook up wtih this one girl who is so sweet and so nice.. there is nothing wrong with her really except that she isn't my ex girlfriend! i didnt date her cause i was afraid of hurting my ex, which obviusly backfired... but anyway, this girl for osme reason is still in the picture.. and woudl date me...

 

so my questoin is this... can a relatinoship wtiuh someone you are very close wtih and have a lot of history wtih work, when you are still very freshly getting over a broken heart....? i still have so many feelings for my ex, but time is running out for me to do anything wtih this new girl, who might be perfect... is there no way it will work? anyone have a similar situation that worked out?

 

please give some advice

 

thanks all

 

pete 2002

[Michael2]

Its tough to say.

 

If your heart isnt healed then how can you truly give it to another. I suggest if you start to see this other girl, that you two take it very very slow. The last thing you would want is to hurt this new girl, especially when you know you arent over your ex yet.

[Ash]

What generally happens in a rebound, is you have all these emotions and feelings without an anchor, so you pick the next reasonably available person, and start parking the feelings there, believing you're in love when in fact it may be a remnant from your last romantic partner. Rebound is generally not about dating somebody to spite an ex partner, that's a different set of emotions.

 

Be very careful and try to analyze whether these feelings are genuinely for that person, or whether they are really misdirected. You say you have a history with this new girl, which is a good sign. But again, be careful. Generally you know fairly quickly in a rebound if there is anything to it.

 

One thing you can do now is let her know of the potential for it being this. And if it is this, when you realize, it would be kindest to let her know, rather than continue to build on a relationship that doesn't have the proper basis.