Lisa_Lisa Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 Alex.. wow 2 years is a very long time. I really feel for you. At least we are seeing each other about every 4 or 5 months at the moment. I first joined this forum because I thought I was the only one - seems there are so many people in our situation. It would be great if we can give each other support in one way or another. My gf bought me a globe - its about as big as a tennis ball - she gave me this to let me know that the world is not such a big place and because of that we will find a way. The globe sits on my desk at work and is a reminder everyday that in the giant scheme of things she isnt ever very far away from me. I hope you and your partner see each soon Alex - where abouts are they? Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 I think I am in shock. Just when I thought we were figuring things out about our future.. its over. Or at least I think it is. I am still trying to think what happened here tonight. I feel like I am still on a rollercoaster ride that I cant get off. My heart feels like its breaking into a million pieces. Link to comment
alex83168 Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 lisa, discuss a few questions as a couple together, is it worth it? is it really going to happen? are u both really committed to spend a considerable amount of time together after all this? discuss the answers. some of the answers to them might not be very clear now, but this time u both have take a decision as a couple....and stick to it, no matter what. LDRs are unlike normal relationships, where after a time, u might take the other person for granted or lose the juice or something. In LDRs, u invest a lot more amount of time, energy and love, so make sure u have firm answers to the most basic questions abt ur relationship. BTW, m in the US, and shes in asia....on the other side.. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 Thanks Alex. They say things look better in the morning - I think they (whoever 'they' are) lied. I have given my all to this relationship. I have never loved anyone like I love her. I doubt I ever will. Who knows what today brings. I typed out a whole bunch of stuff here - but I guess some things are best kept to myself. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 You know - we have asked ourselves those questions.. Is it worth it - the answer has always been damn right its worth it. Is it going to happen - the answer has always been - we will move heaven and earth to make this happen. Are we committed to spending a considerable amount of time together after all this - the answer has always been - all we want is to spend our lives together, to wake up and start each day together. That is why I am unable to deal with the inconsistency she throws at me. Are the things she has said to me, lies? Did she not mean any of it? I dont know much anymore Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 So we had a lot of talking to do. She apologised for her behaviour and for hurting me. She sent me flowers with a message saying how sorry she was. We talked and talked - I love her and I know she loves me. She said she knows she has to make some changes to the way she is with me sometimes. Well you know.. it kinda lasted a few days - now we are back to the same thing. I feel so taken for granted and that I just dont matter. I love her so much and when we are together we have no issues at all. I wonder if she feels that its just too much effort or she thinks that I am always going to be here. I just dont know. Am I really wasting my time? Is it time to say goodbye to this? I mean if your needs arent taken care of by the person who tells you they are in love with you, when all the time you are putting them first - is it really time to walk away? It makes me very sad. Life is way too short.... Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 I think I answered my own questions. The road ahead is going to be a tough one. I will miss her terribly. I dont know how I move forward really. I thought we had all the answers. I thought she was my answer and she said I was hers. Just shows how wrong you can be. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 I am finding this really tough and I know she is too. The sad thing is that we love each other. I think the distance has just taken its toll on us. I miss her so much. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Oh Lisa, I feel for you. It is so, so hard to move on from someone that you love and where only outside factors prevented the relationship. - Unfortunately those factors are important too to make a relationship work. take very good care of yourself! Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 She is coming to the UK to see me. In less than a month! She said we need to talk. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 She is coming on March 9. I am very nervous. I am always very nervous before I am about to see her. We do need to talk. We have/had too much to just walk away with not even talking. I am guess that this is going to be make or break time.. We have been talking and she has been very sweet and attentive. We are saving the serious talking until she gets here. I love her. I dont know at this stage what our future is, even if we have one. Time will tell. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Good luck for your meeting! Just make sure that you know exactly what you want to say to her and what your ideas are for how to improve/ proceed Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 I am starting to get really nervous now. We have a lot of talking to do and I dont want that to get lost in the mix somewhere. The whole point of this visit is to talk. She is only going to be here for a week this time and we have to make the most of that time. Is there a way I can stay focused and stay on track and say the things I need to say because I know as soon as I see her.. well you know.. Link to comment
waveseer Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 You could write it down and then spend some "down time" having a nice relaxed discussion. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 Yes, thats maybe a good idea. Thanks. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I know you have only limited amount of time with her together, but since you have so many important things to discuss, it might be beneficial to take an hour or two for yourself on a daily basis when she is with you, just so that you can take a breather and refocus your own thoughts (and to figure out what those thoughts are) - that helped me quite a lot during my ldr. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 Yes thats also a good idea. I know its the things that get left unsaid that become the problem. Then before you know it, the visit is over and you didnt get to say the things you needed to say. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Writing truly helps. While I was in that difficult phase of trying to figure out where to go with my ldr, in the time that I took for myself I also wrote down what my emotions where, by the time I had written everything down that was going on and what had been said, i also saw much easier what was the next thing I wanted to say to him. By doing this I was much less confused and it was easier to express what I truly had on my mind without being 'distracted' by my anxiety/ fear/ love and all the other emotions running wildly through my head. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 Thanks I need to get this right. This visit has to count and things need to be said. We dont have much time this time so we have to make the most of it. Im thinking this may be a make or break time.. I guess, though, she also thinks its important we do this. She is, afterall, making this trip just so we can talk. Im so nervous. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 She arrives tomorrow morning and I am collecting her from the airport - I am so nervous. Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 We have been together a week and we have talked and talked.. I feel we have talked around the real issues. She will go home the day after tomorrow and she is in bed right now. I just want to be close to her before she goes. I feel so lonely yet she is in the next room. I dont feel we have achieved much and I dont know what to do before she goes. We have actually had an amazing week but I feel we just havent gotten further forward. I am thinking she will go home and things will just go on as before - you know, the not knowing, the uncertainty and I cant do that. I need to know what direction I am taking, we are taking. She said that she finds it hard to plan for the future and tends to llive in the moment. I can not do another year like the last. I dont know how I can get my message accross to her. I am sitting here and she in bed in the other room and I dont know what to do. Help!!Time is running out. Link to comment
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