At my wit's end - hopefully this is the last post about this

[Cirquel]

First of all, sorry. I keep posting about this guy.

 

To recap the shinanigans:

 

1. He asks for my number, and calls after 4 days. I miss the call. He doesn't leave message. I'm not supposed to know it's him... just find out by calling from another phone. Me = stalker.

 

2. I text him the day after saying, sorry if it's him, left my phone with my brother.

 

3. He texts back the day after to say no problem, want to go for coffee or a drink this weekend?

 

4. I text him back the same night (Thursday) saying that would be great, but I can only do it on Sunday, and if that's okay with him?

 

5. No reply yet. It's 5pm on a Saturday. * * * . Call him this time?

 

Like... holy goodness, this guy is SERIOUSLY making me confused. And I'm almost thinking... omg, did you just ask to go out for coffee to be nice and now you're trying to ignore me? Like WHAT IN THE WORLD! And now I just can't seem to muster up the courage to call him because he isn't even responding at NORMAL intervals of time... : (

[Batya33]

The way I see it, he didn't ask you for a date - there is no specific day or time. The ball is in his court to respond to your suggestion. My suggestion is next time, return his message with "sure, let's talk about it - I'll wait for your call".

[CAgirl]

Just call him. You might regret it if you don't!

[D_Lish]

I wouldn't call him....

 

If the guy is serious about taking you out Sunday, he will be the one to get in touch..

 

If he doesn't text or call....no big deal.

 

Thank your lucky stars instead

[D_Lish]

Just call him. You might regret it if you don't!

 

Regret what exactly??

 

Losing out on a guy who asks her out for a drink, leaves her 'second guessing' and who can't even make a phone call to mention time and place?

 

Yeah....some loss! LOL I would be riddled with regrets and weeping forever more over this guy....NOT.

[Cirquel]

Regret what exactly??

 

Losing out on a guy who asks her out for a drink, leaves her 'second guessing' and who can't even make a phone call to mention time and place?

 

Yeah....some loss! LOL I would be riddled with regrets and weeping forever more over this guy....NOT.

 

Ugh. TRUE that.

 

He happens to be hot. *sigh*

[Cirquel]

The way I see it, he didn't ask you for a date - there is no specific day or time. The ball is in his court to respond to your suggestion. My suggestion is next time, return his message with "sure, let's talk about it - I'll wait for your call".

 

Thanks, Batya. I actually just texted asking if we're on for Sunday, and, "call me sometime".

[CAgirl]

Regret what exactly??

 

Losing out on a guy who asks her out for a drink, leaves her 'second guessing' and who can't even make a phone call to mention time and place?

 

Yeah....some loss! LOL I would be riddled with regrets and weeping forever more over this guy....NOT.

 

It is her choice whether or not to pursue this guy. I am simply reply that if it was me, I would take the risk. Forgive me for posting my opinion!

 

People who are " riddled with regrets and weeping forever" are choosing to be miserable.

[enchanted771]

I dont know, maybe the guy is playing games! I hate that.

[Cirquel]

I dont know, maybe the guy is playing games! I hate that.

 

Maybe he is! I don't know! *upset*

[Cirquel]

It is her choice whether or not to pursue this guy. I am simply reply that if it was me, I would take the risk. Forgive me for posting my opinion!

 

People who are " riddled with regrets and weeping forever" are choosing to be miserable.

 

That's what I'm planning to do... my first boyfriend was kind of confusing initially, too, and I'm glad I decided to pursue him. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. ~_~ Yet, I'm just baffled as to why he hasn't responded at ALL when he's had 2 days...

[D_Lish]

Ugh. TRUE that.

 

He happens to be hot. *sigh*

 

Well, hot he may be hon.....but it aint all about what they look like, it is all about how they treat you and he could do with a few lessons in that department.

 

It's unfair to leave people hanging and emotions are not to be 'toyed' with....

 

And if he's hot, he likely has a few females on the go....and especially if he's young. He is likely to be having a hard time keeping up with them all....

[miya]

he's just not that into you. Don't call.

[enchanted771]

he's just not that into you. Don't call.

 

Please, Please dont waste your time if he is toying with you! I wasted 2 1/2 months on a guy who I thought was the greatest guy in the world! he had me so blindsided its not even funny! he kept talking about how he is a good guy, and reasurring me he was serious about me, bla bla. Well guess what? something (not someone) better came along!! I am not saying to give up yet, but just dont be blind.

[D_Lish]

Yet, I'm just baffled as to why he hasn't responded at ALL when he's had 2 days...

 

Hmmm, well you are real keen to want to get in touch with him, why isn't he real keen to get in touch with you and arrange concrete plans for a date??

 

What does that tell you hon?

 

And some people are 'worth' pursuing. A guy who won't call for days and doesn't keep up a consistant contact, a guy who will ask you out for a drink and fails to call to arrange time and place.....in my opinion, aint worth pursuing.

[miya]

Please, Please dont waste your time if he is toying with you! I wasted 2 1/2 months on a guy who I thought was the greatest guy in the world! he had me so blindsided its not even funny! he kept talking about how he is a good guy, and reasurring me he was serious about me, bla bla. Well guess what? something (not someone) better came along!! I am not saying to give up yet, but just dont be blind.

 

agree with this

[Batya33]

Agree with dlish - in my friendships and relationships I have no time for flakiness.

[enchanted771]

Agree with dlish - in my friendships and relationships I have no time for flakiness.

 

YES! Life is too short and full of too many beautiful people to waste on a flake. There are so many men out there who are decent.

[Cirquel]

Hmmm, well you are real keen to want to get in touch with him, why isn't he real keen to get in touch with you and arrange concrete plans for a date??

 

What does that tell you hon?

 

And some people are 'worth' pursuing. A guy who won't call for days and doesn't keep up a consistant contact, a guy who will ask you out for a drink and fails to call to arrange time and place.....in my opinion, aint worth pursuing.

 

You're right. By right, I should be feeling like I don't give a damn right now!! He's hot, but I'm not bad either!

[D_Lish]

You're right. By right, I should be feeling like I don't give a damn right now!! He's hot, but I'm not bad either!

 

Then go find yourself a 'hot' guy, who lnows how to treat a lady right!

Because you deserve NO LESS than the BEST....and there are guys like that, out there!

 

Good Luck

[orangesoda]

jesus...maybe it's just me, as a guy, but do all women make such a huge deal out of something so small as asking for a phone number and getting coffee?

 

So much debate, gossip, and cattiness over something so small.

[Batya33]

jesus...maybe it's just me, as a guy, but do all women make such a huge deal out of something so small as asking for a phone number and getting coffee?

 

So much debate, gossip, and cattiness over something so small.

 

I do not. When i used to give out my number, I put him off my radar right after - if he called, great, if he didn't fine. If he flaked on me I often would not give it another chance but I also didn't give it more thought -minor aggravation/annoyance, move on, next.

[KnitKitten]

Just in case you're interested in what an "Old" lady has to say, I'll tell you what's "hot"....in MY opinion.

 

I've been corresponding with a man, not on this particular site), I being the one who messaged him first.. I was VERY impressed with his profile. He replied IMMEDIATELY and we have been corresponding regularly since then. (It's about 2 weeks now, I believe.) We progressed to phone....our first 2 phone calls were 7 (yes, I said 7) and 5 HOURS!. We must have covered every subject in the book, discovering how much we had in common. And, no, there was NO sex talk, other than to establish that our parts are in working order, along with the interest that goes with it.)

 

He is almost 400 miles away and has a business trip schedule in a city about an hour away from me, for several days, next week. He has called me DAILY since our first communication.... offered to stop by to meet me enroute to his meeting, and is willing to overnight in a nearby hotel, as it was also established on the first phone call that a roll in the hay is not included in my Meet and Greets.

 

Now, mind you, we KNOW that there is nothing further to be known until such time as we meet and spend time with each other. He said, if after we meet, we want further meetings, he will be happy to drive for that hour, every day, if the situation warrants it... It remains to be seen if everything occurs as planned, but I have no reason to believe it won't. Don't know the degree of "chemistry" until we actually meet. And YES, I have seen pictures of him.

 

Back to my point, what is "HOT" is the fact that he has paid attention to me from the start, has called when he said he would...we have discussed more subjects than even we thought possible - including religion and politics....and yes, what we expect regarding sex. I have yet to see a red flag, other than distance....but, he let me know that he's flexible...at our age we seniors are fine with living part time in warm climate and part time elsewhere....

 

Isn't it interesting how different ages and stages in life view "HOT".....

 

Just thought you might like to know.

 

Knittinkitten

[Cirquel]

Isn't it interesting how different ages and stages in life view "HOT".....

 

Knittinkitten

 

 

That's an interesting point, Knittin. Actually, above all, I find intelligence to be sexiest. If this guy did not have intelligence, I would not be hoping to see him. But he does. He seems very put together. To be honest, I've never immediately felt with anyone else, "this is what I'm looking for!" But I did with him. Obviously, he will not be what I'm looking for if he doesn't treat me respectfully... because that's the most important thing. I'm not sure he's gone quite that far yet, but I agree that his contacting me (for whatever reason) has wavered, and that if this were to keep up then I am not going to be hanging around.

 

And yes... I'm already seeing the red flags, insofar as his interest or lack thereof is concerned... he's kept me awfully confused. When I meet up with him today, I plan on just enjoying the company... and who knows... I don't even know how much we have in common, anyway. I haven't met a guy FROM a club before. I don't know what he's like yet. And I've never been in a relationship with a "player" or someone who has mistreated me, so I don't plan on it now.

 

I think that part of the reason I've been overreacting is because I AM very new to this situation. My past two boyfriends were not the result of dating, and I certainly didn't meet them at a club.

 

I don't think this guy is the root of all evil... but I do think I'm more interested in him than he is in me. We'll see what happens today.

 

...and because of my less-than-elegant reaction to my situation this past week, I think I will be avoiding clubs in the future. ; )

[Batya33]

I'm confused by what you mean by being so sure about this guy and your opinions on his intelligence, etc and then on the other hand saying you don't know him at all.

 

"f this guy did not have intelligence, I would not be hoping to see him. But he does. He seems very put together. To be honest, I've never immediately felt with anyone else, "this is what I'm looking for!" But I did with him."

 

and

 

"When I meet up with him today, I plan on just enjoying the company... and who knows... I don't even know how much we have in common, anyway. I haven't met a guy FROM a club before. I don't know what he's like yet."

 

Just an observation - if a person confuses you as far as reliability and calling in the very beginning, keep in mind that usually that just gets worse because that is the "good impression" they're trying to make.