Flowers?

[I am hurt]

My girlfriend and i have been spit up for the past 10 days. I was thinking about sending a dozen red roses to where she works on wednesday. We had been dating for almost 2 years and this is longest we have been appart. I know emotionally she is as sad as me. Would this be a good way to show her that i still care? Or do you think i should just wait it out?

[DestructoBoy]

At such an early point in your break-up you might want to hold off on the roses?

 

If she is hurting like you say she is, this gesture might be like pouring salt on a wound. If I were you I'd wait it out for a while.

 

You didn't really mention who initiated the break?

 

If you did....Do Not send a dozen roses! Let her heal and keep from the mind games. If she broke....still Do Not send flowers right now. It's only been 10 days. Focus on yourself and your life. Try to not contact her if you can. It's very hard and I've been the biggest failure with the "no contact" rule. In the long run it ended up really hurting me and pushing my ex to the point of no return.

 

You might think about just giving her a lot of space right now? Let her reflect on what has happened. And that goes for you too. Take care of yourself. Don't dwell and be miserable (easier said than done) but look at what you've learned from this experience with love.

 

You'll be OK! There are so many people here that are experiencing the same thing. Everyone on this site are wonderful people and have a lot of fantastic insight to many issues!

 

Stay strong brother!!

[Tinkerbell]

What was the reason for the break up? And more importantly, did you guys end on good terms? If you did and you're willing to put yourself out there with the chance you may get hurt, then go ahead and send the roses.

[routerx]

Good idea. I would do it.

 

It sounds as if you still care about her. There is nothing wrong with showing that you care about her. Don't wait it out or play games. Go for it.

[ilinara]

Send her roses but don't call her for another while. She just has to know you are sorry. If she has intentions to come back this wouldn't be a wrong move. If you do not contact her for too long, the pain of you doing nothing to get her back will get her heart break a little bit more.

[DealingWithIt]

dont send her the flowers unless you feel guilty about hurting her...

[Michael2]

Sending flowers is the equivalent of dropping a touch down pass in the super bowl. Do not do it, especially if she broke up with you, if you broke up with her I STILL would NOT send the flowers.

 

Im going to give you some advice here. What purpose would it serve to send her flowers. To show her that you cant deal on your own and that you need her in your life. No no no.

 

 

Dont do it, you will regret it.

[I am hurt]

Well this is story. For the last few weeks she has been acting really strange. She canceled a few of our dates to start with. One night she gets a call from her friend at 1030 and she gets out of bed and comes home at 330 in the morning. Strange behavior like this has been going on for a while. I never really felt that she was cheating on me but it made me suspicous. I just figured she was just trying to cope with her miscariage 3 months ago. Then one night she cancles another date for the second time on a row. I was told she was going to be at her aunts. I found out she was with her aunt but also with some guy that i cant stand. Okay at that point im very pissed!!!! HOur later i get a call from his girlfriend and she tells me they are srewing around. I call my giirl and break up with her becuase i was so mad. THe next day i found out that the girl was lieing. I called my girlfriend up to apoligise and she will not forgive me.

She was the one who lied to me in the first place. I got mad and over reacted and now i am paying the price. My girlfriend has a way with twisting things around and rightnow she has it looking like im a bad man. I feel like we are both in the wrong. What should i do?

[ilinara]

Hmmm, I would not send any flowers, if this is the case. Just wait and see. She really should have a good excuse. Wait for her to make a move if she does not you can try to talk about it but you should not feel guilty!

[I am hurt]

Thanx for all the imput!!! I have decided NOT to send her the flowers. I got to thinking last night and decided its best for her to call me. 8)

[neva_black_n_white]

the thing is with waiting for someone, sometimes they sit there and wait for you to call them, you sit there and wait for them to call you, and well you dont get anywhere do you.

 

whos ground was the breakup? that should depend on who actually makes the initial move but the other can try.

kel

[I am hurt]

the thing is with waiting for someone, sometimes they sit there and wait for you to call them, you sit there and wait for them to call you, and well you dont get anywhere do you.

whos ground was the breakup?

 

Well i broke up with her on a Friday. She cancled our date for the second time in a row. I caught her lying then some girl called me and clamed she was sleeping with her boyfriend. At this point my heart was on the floor. I called her and broke up with her. On Saturday she pleaded with me to get back with her but i would not hear it. Sunday i really found out what happened and i tried to call her and appologise. She wouldnt excpet it!

 

Monday i surpised her at work with her favorate lunch thinking we can talk things out. " She always liked it when i surprise her at lunch". WEll the lunch thing didnt work.

Tuesday night SHE called and told me that she wanted to see me wednesday for lunch. I said ok.

Wednesday we hate lunch together and everything seemed cool! I thought we were making progress.

Thursday i called twice no answer.

Friday i did not call. I saw her at the store so i went over to talk to her. She flips out saying that im stocking her. Ouch! That really hurt my feeling. The town we live in is very small. We dont even have a stop light. So of course im going to see her around town while im doing errands.

 

Okay i have not tried to contact her since i saw her on friday. I know she still cares for me because she was wearing her promise ring. Im not really sure what i should do. Thats why i thought about giving it a few more days and send her some flowers. This was a very serious relationship. I know that its natural for me to still love her but its eating me up inside.

 

Do you think shes waiting to hear from me? Or do you think i should just wait to see if she comes around?

Thanks to everybody for their help.

[neva_black_n_white]

personally i think with the accusation wihtin the shop, she just got a little heated, and maybe what shes seeing as a healing process or getting through it all. i believe that she needs a little time to cool off.

 

im guessing you were told the right thing and she wasnt sleeping around, but still why did she skip two dates? weird huh. well let her cool off and you say you love her then maybe email her, if not that then go and talk to her in perrson (not at work though because this is like a stressful time for people when things are on there mind) make it personal and special just dont push at her otherwise she will slip away.

 

good luck. kel

[I am hurt]

thanks for all the help everyone. Ive been thinking about things and i am going with the no contact rule.