kevin456 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I am planning on sending my ex a birthday card for her birthday in December. Presuming things stay the same until then, I will have not talked to her for 2 months and been broken up for 3 months at that point. I want to wish her a happy birthday, so she knows I still care about her, whether we are in a relationship or not. I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to get back together with her at some point. With that said, I plan on buying her a funny card, and writing a simple message, nothing extravagant. I certainly am not going to pour my heart out to her. I was wondering how I should end the note. Should I sign it "love," assuming I still love her by the time December rolls around? Or would that be too much, and could it possibly scare her away? All opinions are appreciated and thanks in advance! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I think you shouldn't send her a card at all. First of all, it's october and you are already worrying about this? I think you are still way to into her to make a smart choice at this time. Link to comment
kevin456 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Share Posted October 23, 2008 I think you shouldn't send her a card at all. First of all, it's october and you are already worrying about this? I think you are still way to into her to make a smart choice at this time. I am not going to make my choice now. As I said before I really don't know how I will feel in December...whether I love her at that time or not, I would like to send the card. In the meantime, no contact is helping me heal, and perhaps fall out of love, we'll see. From her point of view, I think "love" might be a little much. Best wishes is a good suggestion. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Best wishes on your special day. This is safe and caring at the same time. Link to comment
jasper01 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I read your first post. If you want to attract this person, under no circumstances send her anything. Her attitude is she hasn't even been thinking that much about it, and she's not interested. You need to give even less than that to have a snowball's chance in hell of being attractive to her. That is the unspoken rule of attraction. Give slightly less than the other person. If you send her a birthday card, she may feel pity, and a bit of an ego boost. But it will make you even less attractive. Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I am planning on sending my ex a birthday card for her birthday in December. Presuming things stay the same until then, I will have not talked to her for 2 months and been broken up for 3 months at that point. Yikes! You are busy planning your December but what are you planning to do for yourself in between? This is a prime example of putting someone else's happiness in front of your own. Bad idea. Stop it and get out of that mindset. Make a plan for yourself and accomplish that first. If you can do that by December, then sign the card, "Best in all" and let it go. Link to comment
george237 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 My post from a similar thread I wouldn't and don't do it. There is no reason to. Do you think that they are going to thing wow ex sent me a b-day card I want him back? The more likely response is great now I have to thank them. Sort of like a b-day card from a relative you don't like or talk to. Link to comment
kevin456 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Share Posted October 23, 2008 Good replies by all...I am beginning to reconsider sending the card. The good thing about her birthday being in December is that I'll have a lot of time without contact until then (it's been 3 days so far), where I can re-assess the situation and decide whether sending the card is the best idea. Right now I'm actually leaning towards not sending it, and if I do, I will not sign it "love." Thanks everyone for the replies and more are certainly appreciated Link to comment
kevin456 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Share Posted October 23, 2008 Another thing: One reason (a major reason) why I would send the card would be to indicate to her that I do want to remain in contact. She dumped me, but I was the one to tell her straight up that I needed time away from her to heal and move on. Knowing my ex as well as I do, I expect that she is still thinking of me, but would be worried to contact me since I told her outright that I needed time to myself. Sending the card (a friendly gesture) would tell her that its okay to talk to me again and perhaps trigger communication that could lead to us getting back together. Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Sorry Kev...you're just making excuses to contact her. We all have done that and is easily recognized as such. Just work on you and see where you are emotionally in December. Link to comment
littlestar Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Do u normally sign cards off "with love" i think u should do what u normally do! Link to comment
labella Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 It's nice of you to think about sending her a card, but I don't think it's a great idea to put "with love" then she would immediately know you were still interested in her in a romantic way. You might not want to put anything so that she would wonder what you think of her now (just a friend or ex you want to get back together with). Make her wonder and make her think about you Link to comment
Mayday11 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I wouldn't even bother 'planning' anything out this far ahead of time. Reassess the situation a week or so before her birthday. If you feel like reaching out, I'd stick with sending a short and friendly email or text. Link to comment
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