going nutty!

[goodquestion]

Hey everyone,

 

Been a _extremely_ long time since I posted, but I need some advice ...

 

I am artistic by nature, musical ... and I dream of doing that for a living, but sometimes it feels like it's torture to even want that. I work in hi-tech, and I have leadership position, like a team lead. I've been at the same company for 13 years, but I always keep my feelers out, checking out other places to work.

 

I make good pay, and I have good benefits ... I like the group I work with, and the people I work with in my immediate group ... but I cannot stand the pressure and mismanagement for "the top", I am going nuts, stressed to the max! I am really getting angry with the abuse of employees where I work, maybe I take it too personal ...

 

I have a chronic disease, so I can't just bail and do contract work, because it would be extremely hard on my finances ... I believe this disease contributes to my general tiredness. In any case, I feel trapped ...

 

I feel I should appreciate the fact I have a good job/pay ... but I feel my health will take a nosedive ... anxiety is high ... but I don't want to take meds, to gloss over my general unhappiness, possibly slight depression.

 

I just wish society appreciated arts ... or at least provided a method to transition careers without putting one's financial stability at risk (mortgage, family, personal goals). btw, I live in Canada is that make a difference to anyone's response ...

 

I am really starting to dislike where I work, but I think it would be the same at any hi-tech job ...

 

Thanks for listening,

goodquestion

[emeraldina]

I will soon be in the same position as you... and I'm afraid of it already .. I'm an artist at heart ..but I'm studying something completely different .. I still like what I'm studying but not as much as arts.. I think one thing you could do .. and I know it may be difficult because it's not like there's much time after/before work .. but if you can manage to pursue arts on the side.. it doesn't have to be professional .. maybe do some gigs on the weekends .. it can eleviate the pressure a little bit .. I know someone who's very successful in her professional and family life and she's in the same situation .. in her case .. the art she likes is interior design .. so after sometime working her other job and when she got financially stable.. she started investing little bits of time, effort and money on her passion without giving up her duties .. and she's happier than ever and not stressed out .. and I have to mention she's manager at her job .. so lots of responsibility .. so it's all about finding a balance and feeling like you haven't given up on your passion..

enjoy your long weekend and good luck!

[goodquestion]

Yeah, I get that ... I am trying to get my band going again, it feel apart two years ago ... might be up and running again soon, but I'd give a lot to do it for a living ... thx for the encouragement.