When do you stop trying...?

[LikeAsong]

Hi everyone!

My situation is kinda complicated and has been so for almost a year now.

Me and my ex-girlfriend were together for 5 years. For four and a half of those five years we had an amazing time and lived happily together. But things went the wrong way due to different reasons(no cheating involved!) and it got to the point where we just couldn't go on, so I broke up with her. It was the toughest decision in my life and we both cried alot. But at the time it felt like the only thing to do. The thing is that it didn't take me more than two months to feel that it was wrong. I knew that i had broken her heart so i was very careful on how to approach her. The thing is that she had already met another guy and was not ready for me at all. After talking to her I stepped away and we broke contact. It's been almost a year since the break-up now, and the last month we've been spending more and more time together. I had a few girls in between but couldn't get into anything serious, cos i still loved her. I know what went wrong and in some strange way i feel we needed the time apart. She is seeing someone else casually but has told me(without me asking) that it's not going to get any further with that guy. I've shown her in so many ways that she still means so much to me in the last time, and i know she likes me as well, but i'm afraid to tell her i love her since i'm always the one callin her, rarely the other way around. I honestly think she is the one. What do I do?? / Adam

[george237]

You do whatever you want to do. Just make sure you are sure you want to be with her and not just be with somebody.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

You have nothing to lose here. Just tell her you love her and think she is the one, and feel you made a mistake and would like to try again.

 

If she says no, then at least you know and you can go on with your healing and start dating other women. If she says yes, then you can start working on resolving your issues and getting back together.

[Travelin99]

I agree with BeStrong...tell her how you feel about her. If she still loves you, she'll come back. I think sometimes a break is necessary as it lets you step back and put the relationship into perspective. My girl and I have been apart for about 7 weeks now, and although I am hoping we get back together, the time apart has really helped me learn a lot about myself and a lot about what I did to contribute to the deterioration of the relationship. I've since apologized, and I'm hoping we'll talk again soon. Just be confident and work on improving yourself. Things will work out.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I agree that you should step up to the plate and tell her how you feel. I will say, however, that you had broken up with her and within two months she was seeing someone else...sounds to me like she has work to do on herself as well. In that year apart has she actually spent 5 minutes without a man around? She might be casually dating him and you waiting for someone to make it official..whoever gets there first "wins". In other words...does she love who she is with or does she just love having a man around. Be careful that if she "chooses" you it is for the right reasons.