Exes dilemma

[mokajava]

I'm confused by this one. My husband has stayed friends with his 2 ex-girlfriends because he says that it's not because they broke up that all of a sudden they don't exist anymore or you have to ignore them. He says he would help them if they ever needed his help, but all romantic feelings are clearly gone and he would never go back with them.

So I asked him the other day if the same thing would happen with me if we were ever to break up. He said NO! He said if we were ever to separate, he wouldn't want to keep me as a friend because it would hurt too much to see me get on with my life and find someone else eventually. So he would cut all contact with me, because he would never see me as just a "friend".

 

I was shocked by his answer! I've had to endure his "friendship" with the exes, but now I know that I wouldn't get the same benefit. Why? Is that a compliment or an insult?

[rosephase]

It conjecture. He doesn't know how he would feel if you guys broke up. I think it was supposed to feel like a compliment. Like you are different then these other girls, but I would say you stay friends with some ex's and you don't stay friends with others, and at least for me it has never been about how much I loved them. It was always about how good of friends we where when we where out of the relationship.

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's harder to be friends the closer you were to the person, in my experience.

 

Take it as a compliment as I am sure that is how he meant it.

[Jetta]

I agree with debaser wolf and would take it as a compliment. He loves you, he didn't love them, that's why he can't remain friends with you. IMO.

[littlestar]

The more you love someone and as long as those feelings are still there it's very hard to be friends with that person especially when there comes a time they begin to move on and date/see other people.